Day 371 - CT Scan, KC & Smith's

Today was the big CT scan. I was dreading it. I would far rather have a PET scan than a CT. With a CT scan they inject a contrast dye that makes you feel like you just pee'd your pants & you have to hold your breath for an uncomfortable length of time. And unfortunately I was having my abdomen scanned too, which means I would have to drink a terrible liquid called Telebrix. It's about a litre & a half & you have 2 hours to drink this horrible stuff. Ick. I really wasn't keen to have my entire body zapped with radiation equivalent to 500 chest x-rays. Adding the fact that I felt the entire scan was kind of useless. Why?

Well, I can still feel lumps in my neck, which I believe to be only scar tissue. A CT scan is only going to show masses, not active growth. A PET scan will show active growth. I know I have 'masses' in my neck. I want to know if they are actively growing cancer or not. (Let's opt for NOT!) Thus, why I feel the CT scan is unnecessary. (VERY) Adding to the fact that I don't believe the cancer has spread elsewhere & I really don't see the need to nuke the organs below my diaphragm. Capisce?

To make matters even more ridiculous, they wanted to give me a few chest x-rays prior to my CT scan. Huh? I changed & went into the x-ray room. I thought perhaps they were checking my Picc line again. After the first x-ray, she turned me to the side. I asked why I was having these x-rays. She said the Radiologist always has the patient to chest x-rays prior to a CT scan. I told her that I had just had one 2 days ago with my Picc line & I was about to have 500 with the CT scan. If the CT scan wasn't going to give them a good enough look at my innards, then we were in big trouble, as a few chest x-rays certainly weren't going to either! Luckily the Technician was kind enough to let me refuse the remaining chest x-rays.

At this point I returned to the waiting area to drink my Telebrix. Or not. There were two empty-ish glasses on a small table next to my chair. I was alone in the waiting area. I filled both glasses with my very full glass of Telebrix & found the nearest waste bin. Yes, I'm a bad, horrible person with a few good taste buds left. I poured another big glass & walked to the Picc line girls. My line had a little blood & I wanted to make sure all was well. The boss lady was there & she was horribly rude. They were just returning from lunch. They looked at me & walked right past. As they passed, I said, 'Excuse me, could someone take a look at my Picc line for me?' To which the boss lady replied, 'We're closed. We're not taking patients today. What is it?' I asked about the blood & she didn't even look at it. She just said it would bleed for about 2 weeks & that it was fine. Wow. Thanks for coming out!

I headed back to the waiting room & chatted with a few ladies that were waiting as well. One of the gals was also having a CT scan & was trying hard to drink the last of her Telebrix. A Nurse came out with a fair bit of attitude & topped up the gal's glass. Oh boy. This was going to be a fight. And it was. I told her I wasn't going to drink anymore Telebrix. She told me I would have a suboptimal scan. I told her I was fine with that, as I didn't think the cancer was there anyhow. She says, 'So you're refusing the scan?'
'No, I want to do the scan. I'm just not drinking the rest of the Telebrix. I can't. It's awful.'
This carried on for a bit & I could tell I wasn't going to make any progress with her. I told her to come back in 1/2 an hour & I would drink some more. I dumped one more glass in the trash & then chugged one glass. Done. Let's do this thing.

I found the Dictator Nurse & told her I was ready. She injected the contrast dye twice. It was awful. I'm going to check the dosage, as I've NEVER had the dye twice. I could feel my breath running away & I was gasping for air, the burning in my lungs was awful & I felt light headed. Usually they check up on you, but not this chick. She told me where to change & which way was out. Thanks for coming out.

I find out the results next round. Wish me luck. Ick.

After the scan we went to visit Al & Wilma. I had taken some photos of KC last time we were there & I dropped off a cd & some prints today. They were very pleased with the photos. We had a great visit & they told us of their next travel plans. I hope when I am their age I still have the zest for travel & adventure. They are an incredible couple.

Our next & final stop for the day was at Jacqueline's parents place. We were having a long overdue dinner with her Mom. My Mom was coming & Jacqueline's Dad was there as well. In fact, her Dad made the meal! What an amazing cook! We thanked them for the Flames tickets - actually, Jaco ran into Jacqueline & her friend, Adele, at the Flames game. Adele had invited Jacqueline to go. Jacqueline played hockey when she was younger.

Her Mom just returned from Arizona & is off to India soon! She is an avid photographer & loves to attend workshops in all sorts of amazing places. We had a wonderful meal & a wonderful visit. Talking travel & photography - this is my kind of visit! Before I knew it, it was 2300! Whoops! Time to go!

What a great day! It started out a little sketchy, but thankfully it ended with great friends & great times!

xxxxMJV&O

The African Trio reunites once again!

Day 238 - Overachiever & Achievements!

Okay, so I'll be the first to admit, I've been quite slack about keeping you up to speed! I'm now sitting a week+ behind & racking my brain to remember the past X number of days! Bear with me!


This morning was another ultrasound. I'm pleased to say that I'm no longer in the bottom of the pile for follicles! Yay! This morning found 12 follicles! Whoo hoo! It's working! I am to keep up with my shots for the next three days & come back on Sunday. Lucky me, human pin-cushion continues!


I motored home & realized that I had left Mom's cell at home. I was supposed to call Ilo when I was leaving the city, so she could meet me & follow me back to the ranch. Whoopsie! I called her as soon as I got home & to my dismay, I had the wrong number!!! The answering message that picked up was some young kid named Jordan! Oh no! I facebooked her & sent her an email, with no idea of whether or not she would actually be able to access either message! 


I laid down for a nap, waiting for the phone to ring. It didn't! I woke up & hit the shower. When I got out, there was Ilo! She found us! I quickly got ready & she decided to accompany me to my Oncology appointments. Since it was a rainy day, Shasta & Valentina came along for the ride. The first stop was blood work. It was late in the day, so the clinic wasn't busy & I made sure I didn't get the same gal who murdered my vein last time! 


Our next stop was the Social Worker. She was able to help me out with the prescription coverage application & we applied for Blue Cross coverage, but it takes 4 months to kick in! My EI benefits end this weekend & if I can qualify for sick benefits, it will only cover me for 15 weeks! Yikes! I'm feeling the pinch! It could be an interesting 6 months in so many more ways than I had imagined! 


Okay, the appointment I'm sure you're all anxious to know about. My big meeting with Dr. Daly. I had my binder of studies & tests & trials & questions (19). There he sat with his matching shirt & socks, pants pressed with a razor sharp crease & a flawless haircut. I was so nervous. I was so relieved that Ilo had come along to bring me back to reality from time to time. I started with the questions. Finally it came time to tell him about the Bleomycin omission. 


He asked me to tell him more about it, so I explained the study I'd found, what the results were & the Doctor who had done it. I told him that I'd phoned the Harvard Doctor who conducted the study. To my shock, Dr. Daly says, 'Yes, George?' He knows him! Very good! So, after I explain my reasoning, Dr. Daly says, 'Well, you sound like you're making an informed decision & as long as you're aware of the risks, that's fine with me.'


WHAT?!?! No fight? No argument? No tie me to the chair until I give in?!? Wow! That was so easy! Phew! I've just lost 10 pounds! Fantastic!


Next up, Peter Lougheed for treatments? Sure! CT scan? Well, I compromised & it will only be my neck & chest - NO ABDOMEN OR PELVIS!!!! This is turning into a breeze!


I asked about sunshine & if I could have vitamin D. He said to cover up & use sunscreen, especially if I'm going to be out all day - like if I'm doing a hike. What?!? You mean I'll feel well enough to hike?? He tells me it's much easier than I've painted in my mind. I hope he's right! I really, really do!


I also asked about the substitute Oncologist while he's away. It turns out, he's only gone for 2 weeks, so it's not such a big deal. I mentioned that I had wanted Dr. Lategan & I also mentioned that his receptionist was quite the gal. He immediately asked about HIS receptionist & was she nice. She was better than Dr. Lategan's, but she wasn't winning any gold stars... I told Dr. Daly that she was alright - he instantly poked me in the knee & roared laughing - 'Good! Because it's the same one!' Ha ha ha! Ilo, the Nurse, Deb, & Dr. Daly were all roaring. I hardly found it funny. I do now, but she was still wicked to me! Looks like we'll have to have a chat before I start visiting her every 2 weeks! :oP


With that, we finished up. I left feeling relief of some kind. My 1st chemo date is booked for June 30th. Less than 2 weeks to go. The pit in my stomach is already whirling. CT scan will be either the 28th or 29th. 


Ilo & I stopped for a Jugo Juice & some groceries from Safeway. She made a yummy sweet potato appetizer & I made (kind of) coconut french toast. We were so full from our smoothies we hardly ate anything! The highlight of the day was the photo frenzy Ilo shared with me. She spent a year in Kenya a few years ago volunteering with Global Vision. Her photographs were AMAZING. WOW! I can't wait to go there! The sunsets, the dolphins, the cheetahs, the people... Beautiful! What an experience. 


We walked the dogs for awhile in the rain. It was hilarious to watch Shasta bolt ahead & Valentina try to keep up with her short little legs! They had a blast playing! Shasta is so well behaved & she is the cutest Golden Retriever I've ever seen. She has a cute little turned up nose & beautiful eyes that know exactly what's on your mind.


We were both pretty tired, so we got ready for bed... Before we hit the hay, Ilo tried on a few wigs. It's interesting how a different hairstyle changes your look SO MUCH! I'll be anxious to see how many of my friends walk past me when I sport the wigs! :o)


Until then... Lekker slaap...
xxxxx
Maria, Valentina, Ilo & Shasta

Waiting to see Dr. Daly

Playtime!

Mushrooms & cow patty!

Catch me if you can...

Didn't think so!

You can totally rock it girl! It's Jade from America's Next Top Model!

Day 225 - Blessings Abound!

It feels so bizarre to be home again. I miss Jaco. A lot. We had such a great time, even though it was brief & he was busy, we made the most of every minute. I think if I could offer advice to anyone out there... Enjoy every moment of your life. At 31, I never dreamt I would be struggling to regain my health & enjoy the rest of my life. Carpe diem!

Today I had to go to the Fertility Clinic (RFP) to pick up my drugs, as they are closed on the weekend. I wasn't sure what day I would have to start the drugs, so I wanted to be ready. I wasn't sure how much the drugs were going to cost, either. When I initially started the procedure with them, I was told the IVF procedure would be $6700, plus approximately $2500-3000 for the drugs. Ouch! I inquired about some financial assistance, but they said I didn't have time to apply. (And who said time=money?) They told me they would apply for compassionate care & see if some of the drugs could be covered. A few weeks back, I received a call saying the Luveris had been covered, but they didn't know about the Gonal F pens yet. I knew I would be paying $30 for the antibiotics & supplies. Today I would find out what the bill was. 

It was $30. OH MY GOODNESS! What a blessing!!! How incredibly lucky do I feel! Wow! That helped Jaco & I in so many ways! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The pharmacist, who is from Polska, showed me the proper way to do the injections. Not injection, plural, as in injections! Yes, I will now have to do 2 shots per day instead of 1. Oh lucky, lucky me. BUT... at least these are miniature shots... The total is about 2ml. The needles are barely visible compared to my other shots! This will be a breeze! They are only subcutaneous, so I don't have to worry about making it down to the muscle. Oh sweet relief! 

They gave me a cute little bag to keep everything in & best of all, my very own sharps container! Now I have a proper disposal! :o)

I also saw my Doctor when I was walking out, so I asked her a few questions. When I had arrived home, I had a letter from the Oncologist regarding my CT scan. They wanted to scan my head, neck, chest, abdomen & pelvis. That is a load of radiation. Especially on my ovaries, which I'd like to keep in top form for the egg retrieval. I don't want babies that look like Hiroshima victims. I asked Dr. Foong & she suggested it would be best to wait to have the scan. She also told me she would be away when I had my procedure done, but she would call me when she was back & I could come in & talk about the embryos they made. She is such a wonderful doctor. 

My next stop was the pet shop. Valentina has been barking to a ridiculous level as of late. I have tried shushing her up, pokes in the ribs, bops on the bum & nothing is working. I bought an anti-bark collar that sprays a puff of citronella every time she barks. Here's hoping!

Here's a link to the study I found on CT scans. It's an interesting read! I actually called the diagnostics division at the hospital to find out exactly how much radiation I would be receiving. I was a little insulted when the chap on the other end asked me if I was a Radiologist & that I wouldn't understand anything unless I was. It's called Wikipedia & Google. Hu-llo! Anyhow, he did have the decency to tell me that if it was his wife in my situation, he would postpone the scan. I felt good about that!

I tried to phone the Oncologist & his nurses/receptionists, but they were either rude or unhelpful. Oh this is so much fun!!! :o) I have the scan on Tuesday & as it's now the weekend, it's not looking promising. I also tried to book an appointment with the Oncologist for 10 June to have some more questions answered, but it sounds like he's booked full. I have this sinking feeling that things will be postponed. There is NO WAY he's going to be ready for me on Friday a.m. when I refuse a drug on Thursday afternoon. Nor am I going to be ready when I want time to research the drugs & dosages before I start. 

Doxorubicin damages the heart & there is a lifetime dose. Damage starts much sooner than the lifetime dosage, so I want to make sure I'm within the NO DAMAGE zone.

Additionally, I've had enough time to contemplate this scan business. I get that they have a set protocol to follow. I get that they want a baseline scan so they can know how much progress I've made. However, I also get that CT scans cause cancer & if I have one now, adding in the scan from February, another one in 3-4 months to check on my progress & than again when I'm done in 6 months... That's approximately 2000 chest x-rays in 11 months. Not cool. When you also consider the fact that if the scan in 3-4 months doesn't show improvement when compared to the February scan, we can all agree that the treatment isn't working. I was told the lumps would be gone after the 2nd round. Call me crazy, but it doesn't make sense. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jeopardize my future health just to satisfy someone's protocol - my future doesn't fit into that box they're wanting to tick. I'll step off my soapbox now...

Enjoy your weekend & where is that sunshine I'm dreaming of?? 

xxxx

Maria & Valentina

Thank you for the sharps disposal!

No Hiroshima babies please.

Getting used to the weight around her neck - it weighs nearly as much as she does!

Day 203 - Long Day in the City.

I suppose 13 is an unlucky number for a number of reasons. I've been fairly stressed these past few weeks. Can anyone understand why? I hope so! I had my first appointment at 1000 & my last appointment ending at 2200. Yes, that's 12 hours in the city & most of it spent in appointments. 


Mom decided she wanted to come along to see the Oncologist as well, so she drove. After 12 hours of her driving, well, let's just say that she has an awful lot of Angels watching over her. I have never seen anyone fail to signal, roll through stop signs without checking traffic, take so long to decide just which lane they are going to drive in or merge while doing 40 km/h. Oh my. I hate driving & I know I shouldn't complain, but I'm just sayin'.


Anyhow my Backseat Driving Vent is now complete. The first appointment was my lung function test. It was in the Foothills Hospital at the Pulmonary Lab. I had never been there before, so I asked for directions at Information. 'Oh yes, just take the elevator down one floor & head in the opposite direction.' And she points towards the Special Services building. Away I go. I walk. I walk some more. I keep walking. Still walking. Pretty soon I'm at the Nuclear Medicine desk where I was 2 days ago, which is on the border of Special Services & Tom Baker, so I know I'm totally lost. 


I ask the girls at the desk where EG3 (Pulmonary Lab) & they send me back the way I came in the opposite direction, PAST the elevators & my first left. Okay, it was my Hospital Marathon for the day. I think Information needs to talk a hike on their lunch break & learn the hospital instead of surfing on Facebook!


Eventually I find the lab. It didn't take them long to get started & the Tech was really nice. I sat in this shwanky glass cubicle & was given a new mouthpiece & a set of nose plugs. I did a lot of blowing. It was pretty interesting, but quite challenging. I don't have the length of breath that most people have. My lungs are healthy, but I'm shallow. (We knew that already!) :o) I couldn't complete the test time. (Yes, I'm freaking out a little) (I'll explain why in a little bit) The Tech assures me my lungs are fine & away I go.


Mom & I have blood work done next. The Tech there was also nice, but OH MY GOODNESS!! She slaughtered my arm! She saw my vein from the MUGA scan & said, 'Oh, you have a bruise. I better use the other arm.' I told her I had a hardened vein, so just be cautious of it. I think she used that exact vein. Either that or she completely shattered it! I was nearly in tears from the agony! OH MY STARS!!!! I could hardly bend my arm or lift anything for the rest of the day! What will tomorrow be like? To make matters worse she had to take several vials & the thin vials didn't want to fill - probably from the horrible job she did on finding a good vein! Because it didn't want to fill, she had to keep changing vials, popping them on & off, thus jarring the needle in my arm again & again. Ugh! Brutal! Where's Emily & Mika when I need them? The Nurse's from Castillo's clinic are far more skilled!!!! And much more fun to be around! :o)


Okay, next stop was Market Mall for a few things, then Costco, Ikea, Superstore & then back to the TBC. I had my appointment with the Oncologist at 1600. I was expecting him to try & talk me out of IVF & into starting chemo right away. Which was precisely what he tried to do. He told me I had a 94% chance of fertility after chemo. Wow! Impressive number! But when I asked for websites or papers, he didn't offer anything. When I asked about my heart & lung function tests, things took a shaky turn. I asked when we would do the next set of tests to see where I was at, he said we wouldn't be scheduling anything. He said I would let him know. Excuse me? How would I know? 'Oh, you'll know. You'll let me know,' he said, over & over. Great. So when I've got symptoms & it's too late to stop the damage before it starts, then you'll do a test, just to make sure? No, no, no, no, NO! Not acceptable for me!


He looked at my neck & claimed it had doubled in size since he saw me in March. I wasn't arguing with him, as it was quite 'cranky' right now & was definitely bigger. I think double might be exaggerating a bit, but... He said he also wanted to a month of radiation when I finished the chemo. After I picked up my jaw off the floor, I said I didn't like the sound of that. He said they radiate all tumors larger than 10 cm. I don't have tumors larger than 10cm. Okay, so collectively they are 10+cm, but that shouldn't count! According to him it does! 


He also tells me that he wants to do another CT scan. Ugh. Can't I do a PET? No, that's a PET-CT scan combined, so more radiation! Great. No wonder the cancer isn't going away... That will be 2100 chest x-rays in 8 months. February was the last one - which, btw, didn't show much, if any, growth, now this one & then again in 3-4 months. Then a month of radiation when I'm done?! No wonder it comes back!!! Grrr! I need a Lead paint job before I go back! :o)


I told him I would be ready to start treatment as soon as the egg retrieval is finished & he asked for it in writing. :o) At least he's getting a sense of humour along this long drawn out journey!


Btw, I've lost 10 lbs in the past 6 weeks. I'm not looking for it, so if you find it, DON'T BRING IT BACK TO ME! 


Mom & I went to CNF & then Jugo Juice for a wrap & smoothie. Jaco called & I chatted with him briefly about the appointment. Then it was time to go back to the hospital for the IVF Information Session. Mom dropped me off & headed to Neil's for prayers. 


Luckily, on my Hospital Marathon earlier today, I passed the auditorium twice, so I knew exactly where I was going! I was stunned! The room was packed! There must have been 50-60 people there! I had no clue infertility was such a huge issue! It was crazy! Dr. O'Keane, an Irish Doctor with a great sense of humour, gave the first portion of the talk. Then we heard from the Pharmacist, a Psychiatrist & a Nurse. It was fascinating! I was mesmerized by the obstacles that science has overcome - incredible! What an amazing job! The chance to give loving couples the chance to have a child of their own & the amazing ways that people have actually created to do just that! I had no clue what I was getting into when I agreed to do IVF! 


Check out their website: http://www.regionalfertilityprogram.ca & be sure to check out Dr. Foong. That's our Doctor. If you know someone who needs help, it's a great place to go! I did have the urge to stand up at the session & yell, 'I sell healthy maxipads - come see me later!', but I didn't. :o)


The session finished earlier than planned, so I called Mom & she had just left. I waited about 20 minutes for her to arrive, and while I waited, I played the Flag Game on my iPod. You gotta try it! I'm obsessed! I am learning the flags of the world. It's addicting & it's a free app... Pretty soon Mom arrived & we were on our way home. Finally! What a long day!


Before I bid you goodnight... A little more information on Bleomycin in my own understanding, which may not be scientifically correct. Correct me if I'm wrong. Bleomycin causes oxygen toxicity in 10% of patients & Pulmonary Fibrosis in 1% of patients. Basically is causes scar tissue in your lungs & if you are administered oxygen, say in surgery or while scuba diving, the scar tissue doesn't stretch like regular lung tissue. You can dive down like you normally would, but upon ascent, the lung would rupture & you would die. There is no cure for Pulmonary Fibrosis & if you get it, you're toast in about 5 years. Before you get Pulmonary Fibrosis, you'll get Pneumonitis. Guess what they treat Pneumonitis with? Yup, Prednisone. Everything about this drug just tells me to run away. Fast! 


When I got home, I googled Bleomycin & managed to find a study questioning the validity of Bleomycin in the ABVD protocol. You can read it here & tell me your opinion. 
ABVD & Bleomycin Study
Basically the people who were taking ABVD & had complications with Bleomycin stopped it. They continued with the AVD. At the end of the study, the people who took all 4 drugs for 12 rounds had a 91% success rate. The people who stopped Bleomycin part of the way through had a 90% success rate. 1% is about as identical as you can get. Lance Armstrong also opted out of Bleomycin. He did take Ifosphamide instead which causes a lot more nausea & vomiting, bladder issues & potentially Leukemia down the line, so no, I'm not taking that either. 


I'll keep researching & get a second opinion if time allows. Wish me luck on saving my lungs & my life! Sleep well - I know I will!


Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoo

No photos from today... Just this one of my favourite Physician & my favourite little girl!

Day 112 - No Storm.

Starting the day running late never proves successful. You'd think I would know this by now, but apparently I just haven't learned it yet! 


Mom & I were to leave for town at 1100. We left at 1145. Of course, this put us late meeting Al & Wilma for lunch. Luckily I called & told Al we would be late & it wasn't too big of a deal. I was thrilled to see them again. Sometimes you meet some people & you feel an instant connection with them. It was this way with Al & Wilma. I swear, I can feel their warm hearts when I'm around them!


I met them flying home from the ship this last time. Funny, I spent 26 days on the same small ship with them & we never met. Then, when the cruise is over, we meet standing in line for the shuttle to the airport! Turns out, we were actually on the same snorkeling tour in Bora Bora! Ha! 


Anyhow, we enjoyed a wonderful visit & I look forward to seeing them again soon! They have a fantastic journey coming up that will take them to Cape Town, Namibia & West Africa. I am so thrilled that we share the same passion for travel & far flung destinations! I can not wait to hear all about it! I shared some tips on Namibia when I first met them & I'm sure they'll have plenty to share with me about West Africa! 


We enjoyed a lovely lunch at Earl's. It was such a beautiful day out - if it weren't for the remaining bits of snow, I'm sure they could have opened up the patio! Of course, time ticked past quickly & before we knew it, it was time for me to leave for my Oncology appointment. Valentina said a quick hello & goodbye & we were on our way!


Mom had left lunch early to run a few errands &, of course, she was running late, so I went to the appointment on my own. I did sneak out later & called her & luckily she was close by. 


I must say, it was quite ridiculous. We sat there for an entire hour before the Doctor came in to see us. When he finally did, he said he didn't have the biopsy results yet! What?!? He could have at least told me that from the beginning! Now I was going to be late for my Acupuncture appointment. Argh!


What did surprise me though, was that he had my CT scan results already! I had the scan in another town from another Doctor & he had access to them?? Well, that was the good news! He said the Doctor who did up the report didn't have my previous scans to compare them with, but from what the Oncologist could tell, the cancer hasn't spread (!) & it doesn't appear to have grown at all!! If it has, it is very minimal! YAHOO!!! I didn't get a copy of the report, but I will get that when I meet with my GP next week. Now that's what I'm talking about!!! Now, remember, I had my last PET scan the end of July. I didn't start my current protocol until the later part of October. It's working!!!! Hallelujah! 


The rest of the appointment didn't go so hot. He said he wasn't sure what the hold up was with my pathology report, but in case it didn't turn out, would I be willing to do an excision biopsy? HUH? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop the train! If I wanted to do that, why on Earth would I have you jab a bunch of big needles in my neck!?!? Do I look insane to you?!? I told him, nope. Another Core Needle Biopsy if this didn't work. Besides, he mentioned the former grumpy surgeon who would be the one to do the surgery. I commented on his lousy attitude & the Oncologist said, 'Oh, they're all like that.' I said I didn't care, that's not an excuse! I heard a Westjet joke on my last flight & I'll manipulate it to fit this situation. What's the difference between God & a Surgeon? God doesn't think he's a Surgeon! :oP


The next topic of discussion at the appointment was the Chemofit test. He completely dismissed it & said it was useless. He said it was often only done on end stage patients (of which I am no where near) & they had already been through chemo that didn't work, so how would the test prove anything? Then he said if the test worked they would already have it in place. Right. Don't even open that can of worms. Bite your tongue... Just bite your tongue. And I did! 


Then I asked a few questions about the chemo protocols. Turns out I would be up for ABVD. Yup, the one that causes cardiac toxicity & oxygen toxicity. I asked about scuba diving. At first he brushed it off, then in the end, he tells me I can kiss my scuba diving career goodbye. Goodbye?! I haven't even started!! I haven't dove the Great Barrier Reef yet! Sorry, no can do! And for those of you who are rooting for the chemo path... Even my 'Other Doctor' said NO to the bleomycin (oxygen toxicity). Pulmonary Fibrosis? No thanks. When I asked the Oncologist about my options if I didn't do bleomycin (lungs), doxorubicin (heart), cyclophosphamide (secondary bladder cancer) or prednisone (13 side effects) what my options were, he said none! And then he tries to tell me that there are more protocols for Lymphoma than CHOP & ABVD! Caught you!


I also asked about support in the line of nutritional, supplemental & so forth. Oh yes, we have therapists & nutritionists. Okay, so what kind of supplements? Oh, no supplements while you are on chemo, they could interact. Okay, what about eliminating the chemo drugs, dead cancer cells & other bodily waste? Just drink lots of water. Seriously? I can feel my poor liver wincing from here, let alone my kidneys & intestines! I have come to realize there is NO LOGIC in ANY OF THIS!!!! 


Needless to say, I am more excited to get to Mexico than ever before! Especially with the news of NO GROWTH!!!! I'm praying that my pessimistic Oncologist didn't want to share the wonderful news that it's actually smaller than the last scan! Hey, a girl's got to have some hope, right??!!


I left TBC in a state of mixed emotions & headed for my Acupuncture appointment, now half an hour late. Luckily someone cancelled & I was able to still get in! Dr. Mah tested my supplements & all but the Cayenne & Curcumin (tumeric) tested strong. I reckon it's because I loathe being in the kitchen! :o) But, he strengthened me to them & by the end of the session I was good to go! It's so relaxing. I fall asleep every time! I'm lying down with a heat pack on my neck, a heat lamp over my abdomen & then of course, the 8 needles in me. Needless to say, there's no rolling over! :o)


After the acupuncture, I headed for Community Natural Foods. Again. I had to pick up some supplements for Mexico & I added a few more to the regiment. Perhaps the funniest part of my day was when I asked for some help with the coffee. I needed to get medium roast fine grind. The fellow told me they didn't have any ground coffee, but I could use the grinder in the store. I agreed & asked which kind of coffee to do I choose? He asked what kind of flavour I wanted. *Blush* I replied, 'Well, the flavour doesn't really matter. It's for an upside down coffee.' He looked at me perplexed. I continued, 'It's for an enema.' 'Okay, well then... Do you want to go to Vienna, Guatemala, Tuscany, or Kenya on this enema?' :o) All in a day's work. FYI - It's supposed to help detox the liver. I haven't tried it yet, but I'll spare you the details.


I also bumped into Zoe, my MCP friend. We shared a big hug & I told her I'd pop in after I returned from Mexico to let her know how I was doing. Several hundred dollars later, I was on my way to prayers, only 1/2 an hour late.


Prayers are always fun. It's great to share in each others lives & share in our faith that our prayers will be answered. It's even more fun when they are immediately answered! I prayed that Jaco would find the time to update his CV so we could have it in to the recruiter before she returned from her holidays. My husband, in all his perfection, does NOT respond well to outside influences of pressure. The more I push, the more he resists. Running late? Hurry up? Drag my feet. The day of our wedding in Waterton, we had 20 minutes to get ready. He tells me, 'I'm going to the gym. See you in a bit.' AHHHHHHHHH!!!! But, luckily punctuality isn't a strong gene on my side of the family either. Hey, we'll get there! My own personal time zone! ;o) Anyhow, to my amazement, I returned home to check my emails & find his CV in my inbox! Wow! He is perfect! Two prayers answered! :o)


Exhausted I crawled into bed after a brief chat with Jaco. He was up at 0300 still packing & ready to fly home... Oh how I wish I was on that plane too!


A big thank you to my Mom for rearranging her day to come to the appointment with me. Even if we did just sit there & giggle about Valentina's flatulence!


Lekker slaap & see you soon!
Love, 
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Al, Wilma & KC

Sigh. I've only shrunk by 6 lbs. Do you think my UGG's weigh 19 lbs?

Valentina hits Tom Baker again. What a good girl!

Day 109 - CT Scan

Oh my. Is it really necessary to wake up this early? Really? Apparently it's time to change the batteries in my alarm clock. It sounded mighty ill this morning. Had I not been paranoid of over sleeping, I may have completely ignored the faint flickering of a beep!


Up & at 'er, I was out the door on time! Yes, ON TIME! Poor ol' Contemplate did not want to start this morning. I don't know what the temperature was, but it was 'Crunchy Car Seat' cold. Away we went. Luckily it wasn't foggy. Until I hit Priddis. What's that? Freezing fog? Great. Here comes Granny! I slowed down to about 80 km/h & I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through my body. I just don't enjoy winter driving! 


I decided to take the long way, rather than the back roads. At least I knew there would be a lot of traffic & help if I needed it. I don't have a cell phone, so if I'm in trouble, I sit & wait. Luckily I made it to High River only 20 minutes late. 


I wasn't allowed to eat 6 hours prior to the test & could only drink clear juices. Luckily there was a vending machine with some apple juice in the entrance to the hospital. I was planning on heading to Jenn's right after the test, so naturally I had Valentina with me. Since it was so cold out, I didn't feel I could leave her in the car. I packed her into her carrier with her little red jacket on & plopped my pink fuzzy blanket over her carrier. No one was any the wiser. She even shook a few times in the carrier, her ears & tail rattling the sides of the carrier, but nobody even glanced our way! Lucky! 


Blech. They made me drink this awful drink named Telebrix. Since they were scanning my abdomen, I needed to drink the contrast in order to make the scan look better. They really ought to consult a few folks with tastebuds before they approve these drugs. First, I'm a water snob. I don't drink chlorinated water, always bottled & mineral water. I don't care what you say about tap water being just as good. Hogwash. Do they monitor everyone's pipes? No. Does every town have the same chemical cocktail? No. Anyhow, this drink is mixed with chlorinated water. Gross. Then the drug itself has a nasty taste. The worst of it is, I have to sip, not gulp, this concoction for the next hour and a half! I think I gagged the last portion of the 1 litre bottle! Then the Nurse offered me more right before the scan! Can't I be the Designated Driver or Scanner or something?!? Enough already! 


I took Valentina out to the car right before the scan. Luckily it didn't take long. About 20 minutes in total from change time to out the door. And she was still in her coat & under the blanket. She climbed into my jacket as soon as I got in the car. She's a great heater!


Anyhow, back to the scan. It wasn't that bad. I have had one before. This time they injected the contrast dye a little slower, which was great. For whatever reason, it makes you feel like you just peed your pants. I am completely serious. You don't, but if feels all warm down there. This time the feeling came on a little slower, which was good! Secondly, the first time they did the test, they made me hold my breath & the contrast dye made my chest feel like it was going to explode. In fact, had they not said 'Breathe', I'm sure they would have scraped bits of me off the ceiling 2 seconds later! But this time, I told them I wouldn't hold my breath any longer than felt comfortable. When I started to exhale, the Doctor got cranky & sternly said, 'DON'T SWALLOW, DON'T BREATHE, DON'T MOVE'. I told him, 'Sorry, but it hurts.' They did one more scan & thankfully that one didn't hurt my chest at all. 


The Nurse that helped me was really nice. She has fun at her job, which makes it that much more enjoyable for the rest of us! They monitored me for 10 minutes to make sure I was okay. Apparently 1 in 25,000 people die from the contrast dye. It can cause serious allergic reactions. Luckily I beat the odds! 


Feeling extremely fatigued & the fog having not lifted, I decided not to visit Jenn :o( & made my way home. I was bummed to miss out on a visit with a friend I've hardly seen in the past ?? years, but I'm glad I went home. The roads were extremely icy & I could NOT stay awake behind the wheel. I barely made it home. I fell asleep 6x. I hit the rumble strips & the snow on the side of the road. I have never been so out of it. I was wide awake one second & the next my head was snapping up. I called the Diagnostics Department as soon as I got home to check the side effects, but they claim diarrhea is the only side effect. Needless to say, I called Jenn to tell her I would have to take a raincheck & headed back to bed. I slept until 1830!


I woke up when Mom got home, only to have her leave 20 minutes later. She had been riding all day & then headed off to her Toastmaster's meeting. I answered a few phone calls, made some dinner &, what's that? Yes, I cooked! I made some pasta with clams & spices... Mom makes it from time to time & I quite like it. Apparently Valentina loves pasta too. She went manic for the penne! 


Anyhow, I headed to bed shortly thereafter, but I couldn't sleep. I am so stinking itchy these days, it's crazy! I put stuff on it & it burns. I itch it & it burns. No matter how I lie in bed, it itches! I try & try to not touch it, but sometimes the itch is so intense I just can't take it! I will be very excited for the treatment to take away the itch!!!


Oh, I also heard from Jaco's Mom. Sadly there place was broken into on the weekend. They only took a TV & no one got hurt, but nonetheless, I can only imagine how scary it would feel to be woken up at 0400 to the alarms going off. It frustrates me that people get away with these petty crimes, let alone the serious crimes. I suggested a big ol' Rottweiler or Doberman to take care of would-be criminals, but she told me they just throw poisoned meat to the dogs & they die! How awful! Anyhow, if you come up with any great ideas to solve crime in SA, let me know! So far my best solution is to feed them the same birth control corn as they do the pigeons in San Marco's Square in Venice, Italy. Any other suggestions?? :o)


Sleep well, stay safe & here's a hug!
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Finished that awful drink & my smuggled dog! I think she has her nose mashed up against the screen!

My friendly scanner!

Hoarfrost

Heavy Hoarfrost

Winter wonderland!