Day 230 - Okay, So I'm A LITTLE Tired...

Holy cow. How do Mom's do it? I couldn't settle in to sleep until 0100. The alarm went off at 0630. I have heard of this hour before, but I didn't want to believe that it existed! I had heard crying & movement around 0330 & then again at 0530. Oh boy, I have a lot to learn!


Jenn left for work at 0645 & both kids were wide awake. At least 2 of the 3 of us were. Harrison is 2 & Heidi is 5 months. I won't bore you with too many details. Well, maybe I will. Heidi is a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed, smiling & content little girl. Harrison is a brown haired, brown eyed, little gentleman. They are incredibly well behaved - Mama & Papa must be doing something right!


We had breakfast, changed the diaper, bottle fed, coloured, sang songs (shhh, don't tell anyone!), watched Bob the Builder, played with Valentina & then Heidi went down for a nap. She slept for 2.5 hrs. In the meantime, Harrison, who is recently potty trained, had accident after accident. Me, not knowing the foggiest thing about childhood behaviour, figured it was simply because Daddy was away, Mama was away & here is this strange lady singing to me with her funny little dog... ?? We had a couple of #2 accidents. The first one, no biggie. The second one... Let me enlighten you...


After the first pair of wet undies, I couldn't find any pants for Harrison. As it was raining out & we would be indoors, I grabbed a pair of shorts. Then another pair. Then I finally noticed the basket of clean clothes in the living room. When I asked him if he was dry & he said 'No', but I could see the front of his pants told me otherwise, I thought, well, let's just change him in the living room. WRONG.


As I pulled down his undies to change them, didn't I just get an extra bonus falling out of his shorts. He was upset that he'd messed in his pants, so he was crying. When bonus #1 hit the carpet & I could see bonus #2 on its way down, I thought we better dash for the bathroom. Before I could pick him up, he stepped in bonus #1. As I picked him up, my hand cupping bonus #2 & his poor little bottom, Valentina makes a dash for bonus #1. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! We head downstairs, with the dog shortly behind. I put Harrison in the tub for a good wash & try my best to scrape the mud pie off of my hand, meanwhile I'm gagging & wretching with my back to the poor little toddler crying in the tub. We get scrubbed up & clean clothes on. 


I was really baffled, as he managed to finally pee in the toilet, but as I go to pull up his shorts, they're wet! We change them. No kidding, 10 minutes later he's wet again! Then another 20 minutes after that! I give up! Even the gummy bear 'treat' incentive isn't working! Well, Mama gets home & when I tell her the happenings of the morning, she said he's NEVER done that & she's never heard him so upset. (I'm thinking, oh my, I've scarred the poor child for life!) It turns out today was the day his 2 year molars decided to make  themselves known. Lucky me! 


After I knew that poor Harrison wasn't traumatized forever & he was happy to be with Mama again, I made a dash home & picked up my drugs, as it was time to start. I had to go for my ultrasound tomorrow morning. Unfortunately this meant I had to be in the city in the morning. Jenn had to work. Sadly, I couldn't convince my Mom or any of my friends to help me or Jenn out for a few hours. It was pretty disappointing, as Jenn's family really needs every penny possible! By the end of the night, she had to phone work & say that she couldn't come to work the next day. I felt terrible!


I decided to have a shower while I was at home, but before I even got in, I fell asleep on the bed! I woke up 2 hours later. Guess this Nanny thing is hard work! I drove back to Jenn's, but before I went there, I stopped at Safeway to pick up some Freezies for Harrison - just in case his teeth were bothering him again. Once I was back at Jenn's, we finished watching Alice In Wonderland. It was really good! I was so amazed by the creativity & imagination that went into it! Wow! By the time 1100 rolled around, I was beat. 


I hit the hay & that was that.
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Peek-a-boo!

Valentina enjoys the house!

Saying 'Cheese' while playing the cars game on my iPod. Kindergarten.com has some brilliant apps to teach kids animals, transportation, fruits, veggies... It's a great distraction from boredom in Ikea, at home, wherever... :o)

My little action man!

Miss Heidi quite content!

Day 225 - Blessings Abound!

It feels so bizarre to be home again. I miss Jaco. A lot. We had such a great time, even though it was brief & he was busy, we made the most of every minute. I think if I could offer advice to anyone out there... Enjoy every moment of your life. At 31, I never dreamt I would be struggling to regain my health & enjoy the rest of my life. Carpe diem!

Today I had to go to the Fertility Clinic (RFP) to pick up my drugs, as they are closed on the weekend. I wasn't sure what day I would have to start the drugs, so I wanted to be ready. I wasn't sure how much the drugs were going to cost, either. When I initially started the procedure with them, I was told the IVF procedure would be $6700, plus approximately $2500-3000 for the drugs. Ouch! I inquired about some financial assistance, but they said I didn't have time to apply. (And who said time=money?) They told me they would apply for compassionate care & see if some of the drugs could be covered. A few weeks back, I received a call saying the Luveris had been covered, but they didn't know about the Gonal F pens yet. I knew I would be paying $30 for the antibiotics & supplies. Today I would find out what the bill was. 

It was $30. OH MY GOODNESS! What a blessing!!! How incredibly lucky do I feel! Wow! That helped Jaco & I in so many ways! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The pharmacist, who is from Polska, showed me the proper way to do the injections. Not injection, plural, as in injections! Yes, I will now have to do 2 shots per day instead of 1. Oh lucky, lucky me. BUT... at least these are miniature shots... The total is about 2ml. The needles are barely visible compared to my other shots! This will be a breeze! They are only subcutaneous, so I don't have to worry about making it down to the muscle. Oh sweet relief! 

They gave me a cute little bag to keep everything in & best of all, my very own sharps container! Now I have a proper disposal! :o)

I also saw my Doctor when I was walking out, so I asked her a few questions. When I had arrived home, I had a letter from the Oncologist regarding my CT scan. They wanted to scan my head, neck, chest, abdomen & pelvis. That is a load of radiation. Especially on my ovaries, which I'd like to keep in top form for the egg retrieval. I don't want babies that look like Hiroshima victims. I asked Dr. Foong & she suggested it would be best to wait to have the scan. She also told me she would be away when I had my procedure done, but she would call me when she was back & I could come in & talk about the embryos they made. She is such a wonderful doctor. 

My next stop was the pet shop. Valentina has been barking to a ridiculous level as of late. I have tried shushing her up, pokes in the ribs, bops on the bum & nothing is working. I bought an anti-bark collar that sprays a puff of citronella every time she barks. Here's hoping!

Here's a link to the study I found on CT scans. It's an interesting read! I actually called the diagnostics division at the hospital to find out exactly how much radiation I would be receiving. I was a little insulted when the chap on the other end asked me if I was a Radiologist & that I wouldn't understand anything unless I was. It's called Wikipedia & Google. Hu-llo! Anyhow, he did have the decency to tell me that if it was his wife in my situation, he would postpone the scan. I felt good about that!

I tried to phone the Oncologist & his nurses/receptionists, but they were either rude or unhelpful. Oh this is so much fun!!! :o) I have the scan on Tuesday & as it's now the weekend, it's not looking promising. I also tried to book an appointment with the Oncologist for 10 June to have some more questions answered, but it sounds like he's booked full. I have this sinking feeling that things will be postponed. There is NO WAY he's going to be ready for me on Friday a.m. when I refuse a drug on Thursday afternoon. Nor am I going to be ready when I want time to research the drugs & dosages before I start. 

Doxorubicin damages the heart & there is a lifetime dose. Damage starts much sooner than the lifetime dosage, so I want to make sure I'm within the NO DAMAGE zone.

Additionally, I've had enough time to contemplate this scan business. I get that they have a set protocol to follow. I get that they want a baseline scan so they can know how much progress I've made. However, I also get that CT scans cause cancer & if I have one now, adding in the scan from February, another one in 3-4 months to check on my progress & than again when I'm done in 6 months... That's approximately 2000 chest x-rays in 11 months. Not cool. When you also consider the fact that if the scan in 3-4 months doesn't show improvement when compared to the February scan, we can all agree that the treatment isn't working. I was told the lumps would be gone after the 2nd round. Call me crazy, but it doesn't make sense. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jeopardize my future health just to satisfy someone's protocol - my future doesn't fit into that box they're wanting to tick. I'll step off my soapbox now...

Enjoy your weekend & where is that sunshine I'm dreaming of?? 

xxxx

Maria & Valentina

Thank you for the sharps disposal!

No Hiroshima babies please.

Getting used to the weight around her neck - it weighs nearly as much as she does!