Day 427 - The Last Round!

I survived. It's over.

Today was rough. I usually go to sleep as soon as they start the chemo, but today Sam was my Nurse & I wanted to talk to her. She confided in me that she was getting married after the New Year. (!) I can say that now because she's married already! I couldn't fall asleep after that news! Very exciting! She has been a very special person to me these past 6 months. She is genuine, beautiful & strong. Just what I needed when I felt weak, ugly & lost!

When she saw me taking oral Dexamethasone, she commented, 'You take oral Dexamethasone as well?' I asked her what she meant. She said I was getting it be IV also. I asked if that was bad. She said no, only that it would help me to keep my appetite & I wouldn't lose any weight. AH HA! So that explains why my pants don't fit so well these days! Sigh.

I drifted off to sleep a little later, only to wake up to Mom2 sitting beside me. I couldn't really sleep after I had woken up, so I tried to visit. But the nausea hit. I don't normally feel sick. At least I hadn't been since round 7 or so. I actually got sick to my stomach - just a little - before the end of the treatment, which has NEVER happened. They ended up giving me 2 more anti-emetics via IV. I've never had that much before!

We took the girls to PLC today to show Sam. She has 2 dogs of her own & we always talk about our pooches. I asked Mom to dress the girls in their Christmas dresses & bring them to the side door so Sam & the Nurses could see them. Needless to say, the girls were a hit!

Dr. Lategan took my Picc line out. Here's the video clip. Someone asked me WHY I recorded it. I guess I don't plan on ever having a silicone tube shoved up my vein again. Not a video for the faint hearted - it made me gag the first time I watched it! But crazy to think that modern medicine has the technology to put a tube inside your vein & run it all the way up to the central vein entering your heart. When you look at it that way, it's pretty cool, I think! Enjoy & let me know how far you can watch!



Mom drove me home & I don't remember anything past Barlow Trail. Next thing I knew, I was at home. She helped me get to bed & then left to go get Ken. They drove back here & spent the night. They were waking up early to watch Ken's grandkids open presents. Apparently tomorrow is Christmas! I know I won't be appreciating any turkey at this point! Just my Ondansetron!!! Every 8 hours like clockwork!

Merry Christmas & I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. I hope you remember WHY we celebrate CHRISTmas & include that in your festivities. Family, friends, giving, celebration... I'm happy with my best present ever. NO MORE CHEMO!

xxxxMVO&A

 The Beautiful Sam!

 Out cold & cold out.

The girls keep me warm on the drive home.

Day 426 - The Eve of The Last Round & Christmas Eve

Can you believe it? It's finally here. 6 months of what I thought would be pure torture & it wasn't! And it's finally coming to an end!

I spent most of the day trying to tidy, pack, organize & get things ready for tomorrow evening. I packed my 'chemo bag' for the last time. I packed the pills for the last time, the neupogen bag for the last time, the 'chemo blanket' for the last time...

Looking back, I packed books, journals, laptop, ipod, food, etc, etc. the first few rounds. It was so heavy, no one wanted to carry the bag! I never used any of it! Now I just take my pill & put on the headphones & sleep! Happy day!

Valentina & I played this evening, then she tried her best to send me to bed. I have a hard time sleeping the night before chemo. I know if I stay up late, I'll most likely sleep through treatment the next day.

I want to say THANK YOU to all of the amazing people who helped me through this roller coaster ride - Jaco, Mom, Mom2, Al, Wilma, Jenn, Trisha, Roxy, Kevin, Collet, Dave, Laura, Sylvia, Janis, Kerry, Bronwen, Jessica, Fawna, Lara, Zoe, Marc, Joanne, Ross, Krystle, Dr. Daly, Dr. Castillo, Dr. Dowdall, the INCREDIBLE Nurses at PLC - Sam, Iny, Deana, Marilyn & the others whose names have slipped my mind, Julie, and all the friends who have commented on the blog or Facebook, wrote emails & called the house. It has meant the WORLD to me. Those of you who showed up at the house, attended the head shaving party, said prayers (!), I thank you from the bottom of my heart to the top of my bald head!

It has been quite the journey, with plenty of lessons learned. I'm anxious to remember what 'living' feels like again. To be active, eating healthy, thinking healthy & being healthy. I can't wait for 2011 to begin. A fresh slate!

On that note, I'm off to bed, for tomorrow, the hardest part will finally be over! AMEN!!!!

xxxxMVO&A

Mama! Come to bed!

Day 417 - Recuperation

Not much to report today. Slept. Tried to eat. Tried to pack. Accomplished very little. Took pills. Here's hoping tomorrow is a more 'normal' day, as I've got a lot on the go!

xxxx Maria, Valentina, Oceana & Adios

Day 416 - Round 11

Wow. Only one left after today. I found out that the Treatment Room will be closed on the 27th & 28th, which means I would most likely have to do my last round on the 29th. I want to get it over & done with, so Dr. Daly is going to let me do my last round on Christmas Eve. I'm not really in the Christmas spirit this year, so that suits me fine! I'll be plum happy to be all done & dusted for Christmas. Best present ever!

I told Dr. Daly how I felt about the radiation & he was accepting of my decision. If I change my mind, I'll let him know. I asked him to write me a letter to take with me when I travel to California. He said he'd write me a letter & tell them to keep me! Ha ha! I have grown to love Dr. Daly. He's a great Doctor - with a charming personality. He won't be there on Christmas Eve, so I'll most likely see Dr. Lategan, whom I've also gained an affection for. I've really been blessed with the Doctors & Nurses at Peter Lougheed. They are a wonderful bunch with big hearts!

As for treatment, I'm getting it down pat. I took my pre-treatment drugs on the way in & then one more Ativan just before they started. I was out like a light & slept through the whole thing again. We stopped for a chai egg nog latté on the way home, as well as gas & dog food. I slept the rest of the way home. Jaco called somewhere in there, but my mind gets foggy!

The Nurses said we'd have a celebration at my last round. One of them mention champagne. I asked if it went well with Ativan. NO! was the reply! I laughed & said, 'I saw Santa! And Rudolph!' They told me I likely would if I combined the 2! No champagne it is then!

My arm is doing much better, btw. I really regret no taking a photo of it at it's worst. It still looks pretty icky here, but it's getting better!

Sleep well & see you tomorrow... I'll be feeling more 'normal' then!
xxxx Maria, Oceana, Valentina & Adios


Warning: May churn your tummy a little!

 Graduation Flowers from Mom - they smell delicious!

Day 403 - Round 10. Only 2 left! Amen!!!

Thank goodness I had a decent night's sleep! Finally! Mom & I left about 0745 & managed to make it to PLC by 0900. I had my blood drawn & we patiently waited. While we waited, I went to Second Cup to get a hot drink & some pastries. Lo & behold Mom accidentally spilled the hot chocolate EVERYWHERE. Yes, on my black leather purse, my fur mittens, on my book, on my wallet, inside my purse on every item possible, on my blanket, the Lulu bag, on the pastries I hadn't even bit into. I was furious. Yes, it was an accident, but who is going to replace all of the above that are stained & ruined? Sorry sure isn't! Grrr! I'm slowly getting over it... :o(

Chemo went fine. I managed to doze off & on throughout & listened to some classical music to stay chilled out. We left the hospital just before 4, although it could have been 1/2 an hour earlier, had Mom picked up the prescriptions & made the appointment rather than slept. She's not as well trained as Jaco, but I guess she hasn't been there that often, either. If there's one thing I can't tolerate is sitting & waiting in the hospital after I'm done treatment. I need to get out of there & NOW!

We drove home & had a quick bite to eat. I noticed, while having dinner, my Picc line had some blood in it. Oh dear. I called the Health Link, no luck. I called PLC, no on call Oncologist. I called Yup... back to bed again. This time I went to bed at 1800. I woke up at 2100 when Jaco called. I spoke to him for a bit, but I was so exhausted that I started to fall asleep during our conversation! Whoops! I fell asleep straight after we said goodbye!

I managed to wake up at 0000, 0330 & then at 0530... And so the following day started!

xxxxMV&O

Meet Rihanna (& my new passport photo - with a white background & a lower eyebrow!)

Day 388 - Round #9

I suppose it probably wasn't the best plan - if it was even a plan, but I only managed to get about 2.5 hours of sleep last night. I guess my body is falling into a bit of a rut. I just couldn't fall asleep. By the time I did fall asleep at 0500, Mom woke me up at 0730, so what's the use! My hope was that I would just sleep through my chemo. I did. Thank goodness.

We arrived at the hospital at 1000. They weren't expecting me, as they thought I was coming in this past Friday & had to chuck some of the drugs. (I'm getting nauseous just typing about this) Therefore, I had to wait an hour while they prepared the drugs. I finally get into the treatment room & then they need to change the dressing on my Picc line, as it's due for a change today. The lovely ladies down the hall who put the Picc line in were so snooty with their Picc line loot that they wouldn't even give Iny at Statlock! She had to order one from Stores & that took another hour! It was 6 hours today for a 3 hour treatment! Argh! Thankfully I slept through the entire thing!

Mom drove me home & made me a grilled cheese & chicken noodle soup for supper. I went to sleep shortly after that. Of course, I woke up at 2200 & then again at 0000. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I tossed & turned until, yup, you guessed it! 0500! What a day & what a night!

The good news is... I'm 75% done my chemo treatments! Can you believe it!?! I can't! Looking back, I never would have dreamt that I would have done 1 chemo treatment, let alone 9. Here I lie, bald as the prairie, drugged up on anti-emetics & shy on sleep. Where did my life take such a turn? I can't wait until I'm back at it, camera in hand, on some remote corner of the globe with my hubby by my side... Amen.

xxxxMV&O

Here's the next personality:

Meet Gaga

Day 383 - The Round 9 That Wasn't

This morning we actually had a mini-sleep-in. Usually my appointments are booked for around 0900, which means we need to leave home around 0700 in order to have blood work done & dusted for the appointment with Dr. Daly. Funnily enough, he doesn't come in on Wednesdays until noon. What's the point of sitting around for a few hours on an already trying day? So today we left at 1000. When I went to the treatment room to have my blood drawn, the Nurses looked at me funny. The treatment room was really full & they didn't have me on the list of patients for today. Uh-oh.

Yeah. We waited until 1500 to see Dr. Daly. Only to have him tell me that I wouldn't have treatment today. My blood count was good, but there wan't enough time or space in the treatment room. Well. Thanks for coming out. What a joke.

Dr. Daly had an intern with him. Bikram - from Vancouver. He asked a lot of questions. Jaco urged me to 'give him attitude'. I'm guessing Jaco got 'attitude' from his patients when he was an intern. I didn't give Bikram any attitude, I was pleasant. When Dr. Daly finally came in, he gave me my scan results. Well, part of them, anyhow. I didn't catch anything regarding my neck. I hope that's a good thing. As for my chest & armpit, well, it's good news. My armpit is pretty much normal, but for some stringy strands or something & my chest is .02mm from normal sized nodes. I guess that's good news! I didn't hear too much about my neck, but I think they want to zap it good with radiation. That will take a little investigating.

Dr. Daly told me that I have an appointment on the 9th of December with Dr. Balog, a Radiologist. Dr. Daly said he's my kind of Doctor - a man of few words. Great! So we'll get along smashingly! Fabulous!

I was mildly relieved that I didn't have treatment today. I was feeling horrible anxiety again. Nausea to the hilt. Not pleasant. They originally booked me for treatment on Friday, but after we left the hospital & Jaco & I spoke about it, we decided Monday would work better. Jaco would already be gone, but at least we could have a few more 'normal' days together. Otherwise, I would have to drive myself to & from chemo, as Mom was going to Saskatchewan with Ken for the weekend & I would also have to drive Jaco to the airport the day after chemo & then drive myself home again. Not good!

Mom had dropped us off at Earls to eat, while she ran a few errands, so I called the hospital & told them I would be in on Monday. Jaco & I had a nice meal. We were both a bit frustrated that our entire day had been wasted. We don't have many days left together! Gulp!

We drove home slightly discouraged, but made the most of the evening. Jaco studied & I did a bit of blogging. We talked about our lives - together & apart - and made plans for the last couple of days.

Here's to a wonderful three months together! Our longest time yet! I'm sure going to miss him!!!

xxxxMJV&O

Playin' around in Earls 

Creepy eyes on a slow shutter! 

 Sunshine!

More sunshine

Attempt at a slow motion video - hope it works!

Day 369 - Round 8

Well, today was Round 8. I'm officially 66.67% finished. On the way in Jaco turned & said to me, 'You're 3/4's of the way there today!' 'Really? That's awesome!' 'Oh, wait. No you're not. You're 2/3's of the way there.' 'Awh Man! I was all excited for a moment there! Thanks a lot!'

In any case, I am happy that I am finished with another round. The blood work went well & my appointment with Dr. Daly went fine. We were about to leave for awhile when he walked through the waiting area. He sent me to see the Picc Line girls. That was fun. NOT QUITE!

In case you don't know what a Picc line is, it's a peripherally inserted central catheter. In case you're none the wiser after that statement (I wasn't), basically they stick a silicone tube in your arm that runs inside the vein up your arm to a much bigger vein close to the heart. This helps to prevent irritation to the vein in my arm & also allows the Dacarbazine to be administered at the regular rate. (1 hr vs. 2 hrs) It will be in my arm until I finish chemo & they will send someone out to change the dressing once a week.

The actual procedure to insert the Picc line was less than pleasant. I thought they would put it in my left arm, as I use my right hand for most things. Nope, apparently the right side is preferable to put the Picc line in. Preferable for who, I'm not sure. The gal who was doing the procedure wasn't too 'warm' - to say the least. She tried my right arm. Thankfully she froze the site. She only got the tube in 15 cm & then it stopped. No luck. She pulled it out & tried another site a little lower. She didn't freeze this site. And it got stuck at 15 cm. Great. That was fun. Her boss came in a few times & tried to hurry her along. Thanks. Rush the job & pay less attention to your patient. Great. Thankfully they called another gal in. Sandra. She was much more pleasant. She tried the left arm & first try she got it. (with freezing) When she was inserting the tube further up my arm, she asked me to try & put my head in my armpit & lift my head off the bed. Then she asked me if I could hear my pulse beating in my ears. Apparently there's a nasty turn in the veins & the Picc line can head up my neck. Just what I need! Chemo in my brain! Yeesh! She taped things up & sent me to Radiology to have a chest x-ray. They needed to make sure the line ended at the right spot. It was 2 cm too close to my heart, so they pulled it out slightly. I was officially ready for treatment.

We left for lunch while they ordered the drugs. As we were exiting the parking lot, I saw a girl that looked a lot like Roxy. It was Roxy! We picked her up & went to Nando's for chicken. I was unaware that we even had a Nando's in Calgary. I knew there was one in Vancouver. What's Nando's? It's a restaurant chain I know from South Africa. I have actually never eaten at the ones in SA, but I know them from their controversial advertisements. Check one out here.

Roxy came into the Treatment Room for a bit & then had to boogie out to the Ranch to help Mom with the books. Jaco left for a bit & had the oil changed. I have to call Mr. Lube & find out when to have the oil changed, as they recorded it to be changed in 500 kms. Yeah. They also wrote down the current mileage as 4 million instead of 4 hundred thousand. Oops.

We finished up just before 1700, which was great, considering we started well after 1300. This Picc line is going to make things A LOT better! Bring it on!!!!

We drove home & spent most of the evening visiting with Roxy. Mom made two of the vegan dishes & we had a nice supper. I got busy on the laptop looking for old photos & before I knew it, it was 0200! Yikes! Time to get to sleep! Usually I sleep straight after chemo, so this was a good thing! I think!

Lekker slaap & Round 8 is done & dusted!!! xxxxMJV&O

 Okay, so this photo is pretty rubbish, but this chick had her leg in a brace/cast, her opposite arm in a sling & her only free arm was using the crutch. BUT. She was still able to hobble outside for a ciggy. 

 The Picc line finally in.

All taped up & ready to roll. 

 The sick chick & her hubby.

Roxy & the girls warming up. 

That's the smile I know & love!

Day 355 - Round 7 Take 2

I felt 100% better this morning. I convinced myself that today was going to go smoothly & I would be just fine at the end of the day. And it worked! Today was a breeze!

I think it must have been the Ativan they gave me before I started treatment. I slept through the entire treatment!! It was awesome! Jaco said a prayer for me just before they hooked up the IV & then they brought me a warm blanket. I reclined the chair as flat as I could & I was out cold! Apparently my Mom, Ken, Unka Jer, & Grandma all came to visit & I didn't even wake up! Luckily they came to see me when the treatment was finished & I was able to visit with them a little.

I am absolutely amazed at how well the day went! We met with Dr. Daly briefly to discuss the pic line option for next time & he said he would be in touch regarding that & the CT scan. We left for home right after that & I went to bed again. I woke up later on & called a few friends. I NEVER feel well enough to do that! Whoo hoo! May each & every round left run as smoothly as this one! (I'm still going for acupuncture. I need the one up on chemo!)

I had jokingly told the girls in the treatment room before I started that they could put me in a coma if they wanted to. I guess they did! :o) Bring it on!

On a positive note, Jaco has now driven enough times that I no longer need to tell him where to turn & which lane to be in! He's finally remembering his way! And he even came back to the hospital on time today! I didn't have to wait for him! Oh the joys of chemo! :oP

With that, thank you for your continued prayers, positive energy & support - it means so much more than you'll ever know. I'm learning so much throughout this entire 'chapter'. Friends that I assumed would be there, have become invisible & those I least suspected have stepped up to the plate. My definition of family has been reviewed & altered, there are so many changes taking place in every area of my life, I'm doing my best to stay caught up!

With gratitude,
Maria xxxx
(& Jaco, Valentina & Oceana)

Sorry - no photos these past few days! But there are more coming!

Day 354 - Round 7 or Not.

Today was supposed to be chemo, but it wasn't. I chickened out. Hardcore.

My blood work was good, so I was able to have the treatment. We made arrangements to go for something to eat & then come back in one hour when my drugs were ready. I was so worked up about the treatment that I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't eat anything & I had to go to the bathroom a lot. I was nearly in tears. Finally Jaco said to me, 'You don't have to do it today. We can come back another day.' That was the best news I'd heard all day. I was so stressed out about the treatment.

The crazy part was that I hadn't even received a drug & I already felt sick! My mind was playing some dirty tricks on me! Jaco went into the treatment room & told them I wouldn't be having treatment today. They weren't too impressed, but I didn't care. I wasn't in any form to receive a droplet of chemo.

We drove home & I slept for awhile. I then phoned Dr. Castillo & asked him what I should do. I called Andrea, the girl who had the same lymphoma as I did & who also did chemo. I read scriptures & a few parts from a book called Battlefield of the Mind. It worked. I came to grips with the fact that it really is 'all in my head'. Scary!

Unbelievable that a few thoughts could take me on a runaway train down a dark path. By the end of the day, I was ready to go back to the hospital & face the music. Don't ask me how I'll make it to #12, but I am ready for #7.

I had decided (prior to today) that I was only going to do 8 rounds. I was going to have my scan & when it was good (or bad) I was going to stop chemo & do something else. Enough already. However, Dr. Castillo told me not to quit, as did Andrea. I thought she had only done 8 rounds, but she told me she did all 12. Poof. There went the wind out of my sails. I was hoping to sneak out the back door before anyone noticed. Not happening now! Andrea also suggested (for about the 4th time) (I'm dense sometimes!) that I take acupuncture for anxiety. She did & it worked wonders for her.

Fingers crossed & prayers answered... Wish me luck tomorrow!

xxxxMJV&O

Day 339 - Round 6 of AVD

Yuck. Barf. Sick. Eew. Gross. Horrid. No. 


Those are a few of the words I would use to describe today. It sucked. Hard core. (sorry, it's not a positive post today!) 


My neutrophils were 6.2, so I was well high enough to have treatment. I shouldn't have taken the 2nd neupogen shot, as I had horrible bone pain again. The lab tech didn't hurt me when she took blood, so that was nice!


I wore the afro wig & Dr. Daly wasn't impressed. I guess he likes blondes better. :o) We talked about arm pain & we'll see how the next few treatments go, otherwise it's going to be a port-o-cath for me. Boo.


Marilyn, Sam & Noreen did my treatment today. The Vinblastine went in fine. The Adriamycin hurt. Usually it doesn't. It took 25 minutes instead of 10. The Dacarbazine hurt like a son of a gun. (to be polite!) And it took 2 hours. Talk about torture. I started to feel nauseated part way through the treatment. It didn't get any better. I was completely stuffed up in my sinuses, my eyes felt all puffy & swollen & my tongue felt thick. Great.


I nibbled on a garden fresh carrot for most of the treatment, just to keep something in my mouth & give it a flavour, other than the icky taste of the chemo. Mom stopped by in the early stage of the treatment & then left to run errands. Jaco also left to pick up a few things. In fact, he was so busy that he was late! I was finished my treatment, waiting to go home & try to survive & he was nowhere to be seen! I was the last person in the treatment room, so I held Noreen up too! I was getting worried that something had happened or he was lost. I called Mom & asked her to come & get me. She was just about to leave when Jaco walked in the door! Thank goodness! (He was picking up sushi & Jugo Juice - bless his heart, but I can't eat/drink much after treatment!)


I was VERY ill again tonight. In fact, I swore I was going to perish if I had to endure this 6 more times. Sorry if your stomach gets queasy, but I've never vomited like this before. I'm throwing up so hard I'm unable to breathe. It sucks. I managed to break blood vessels along my esophagus, so there was blood too. It's impossible to describe the feeling my body experienced, but I never want to experience it again. What's that you say? Weren't there drugs I was given to prevent me from getting sick? Yes, I was given a 24 hr anti-emetic, an 8 hr anti-emetic & a 6 hr anti-emetic. They didn't work. 


I do this bizarre groaning, grunting, holding my breath thing when I'm sick. At some point, Valentina was on my belly sleeping, but when she got up to crawl under the covers, she grunted & groaned the entire time she slowly moved under the blankets. It was cute. (Perhaps the best part of the night - my grunting dog!)


Worst of all, I'd just love to fall asleep & wake up the next morning. But no. It was midnight by the time I drifted into slumber. Brutal. I am so glad my husband is here with me. I don't know if I would have made it through the day without him. (Although if he would have been much later picking me up, I wouldn't have had a choice!) :o) Thanks Babe, I'm so happy you're here with/for me.


Here's to an expedited latter half of this hell they call chemo. I'll end it on a positive note - it was a beautiful, hot, sunny day today!


xxxxMJV&O

Beyoncé makes her debut.

Day 325 - Round 5

Well, I'm pleased to say I made it through the day without losing any meals. My blood work was .01 mark below normal, but luckily Dr. Lategan still ordered my treatment. I told him I didn't take the Neupogen last Wednesday as instructed, but he didn't smack my fingers too badly... :oP 


Marilyn was my Nurse for the day. I'll never forget her name, as I think of Marilyn Monroe every time I hear her name! Sam was also there & I learned that Sam replaced Grethe, so CONGRATULATIONS Sam! Well done on the promotion! Ken stopped by to say hello, as he had a physio appointment in the neighbourhood. He & Jaco visited, as I was starting to feel pretty out of it. Ken was kind & brought me a flower in a really cute vase with a little ladybug on the side.


The Dacarbazine REALLY hurt my arm today. In fact, it took twice as long to inject, it hurt that bad. So, instead of one hour, it took two hours. Don't forget that doesn't include the anti-emetic, Adriamycin or Vinblastine. Or the saline flushes in between. Ugh. I think I'll need a clown to perform in front of me next time... It is getting tough! And to think I'm not even half way yet! Sigh.


I managed to eat more 'neutral' foods, with the hopes of keeping it down & keeping my body happy. Dr. Lategan said that vomiting & chemo is generally all in your head. He said he had one patient who couldn't even drive past the hospital without getting sick. Great. I'm doing my best to keep my mind on the straight & narrow!


Jaco managed to get me home, in one piece, through rush hour traffic. He's learned the city well! I went straight to bed, glad to have survived the day... 7 to go.


xxxxMJV&O

Thanks Sam & Marilyn for taking such great care of me today!

Day 306 - Round 4 of AVD/Worst Day of My Life.

Ugh. Today was a day I'd rather forget. Jaco was mad at me for most of the day, the Doctor was 2 hours late, I got food poisoning from our lunch & spent the night hurling my guts out. Want me to elaborate? Of course I'd love to!


My appointment was for 1000. I had blood work done before that. We waited for the blood work. And we waited. And we waited. Finally it was done at 1130. They paged the Doctor. He arrived 1/2 an hour later. It was now noon. I was starving, as were Mom, Mom2, & Jaco. We decided to go to the Olive Garden for lunch. I couldn't remember the last time I was there, but I remembered that I liked it the previous time. I had a delicious mushroom ravioli. 


By the time we received our food, we had just enough time to sit out on the grass out front the restaurant in the hot sun & enjoy our meal. We were just finishing up when the treatment room called & said my meds were ready. 


Grethe was my Nurse today. She was the first Nurse I had met when I came to Peter Lougheed at the end of June. She was very kind & pleasant & I was happy to have her again today. We visited for most of my treatment & I found out that she knew the Mulatz's from Maple Creek. I walked up with their son, Kevin, at my graduation ceremony. It's a small world! 


When my treatment was over I thanked Grethe & said I would see her in a few weeks. She told me then that she was retiring & today was her last day! Oh my! I asked her how long she had been a Nurse & she said 45 years! Wow! She was quite misty eyed & I was sad for her. They were giving her 'a package', I'm not sure what that meant, but I don't think it was a package she'd been waiting for! In any case, I'm sure the Treatment Room will never be the same again. I'll be thinking of her & wishing her well & hoping that she'll find enjoyment in her retirement. 


As soon as we left, I had that old familiar feeling of 'icky-ness' wash over me. I usually sleep the entire way home, but today I couldn't. I ate a peach thinking that would help. It didn't. I felt worse & worse. I couldn't sleep. A pounding headache arrived. By the time we pulled into the yard, I was feeling near death. I laid down, thinking I could sleep away the worst of this. Nope. I couldn't sleep. I put a cold cloth over my forehead & laid there. My stomach flipping & flopping. Pretty soon it was time to visit the toilet. There went lunch. Oh I haven't been sick like that since the time I had one too many drinks in my first year of College. (Bellydancing & karoke didn't accompany this episode of sickness!) It was brutal. Jaco came in to help me out & once I was back in bed, I thought the nausea would fade away. Nope. 


Forty minutes later, I was back at the toilet. I had swallowed two Tylenol with some lemon water about 20 seconds prior. Up they came. Then it was dry heaving 20 minutes after that. I was gasping for air I was wretching so hard. Brutal. Gross. Sick. Shawh. I don't wish this on anyone! I finally paged the Oncologist on call at 2300. She advised me to take both anti-emetics instead of just the usual one or the other. I managed to get the liquid one down & passed out cold before I could wait 20 minutes & take the 2nd anti-emetic. I woke up at 0200 & realized that I'd finally slept! Yay! I gulped down the pill & went back to sleep. What a day.


They are changing my chemo days to Mondays instead of Wednesdays, as Dr. Daly is in at 0900 on Mondays, however, the next round will be on a Tuesday, as it's the long weekend. Thrill. I am already anxious. 


Thank goodness today is over & done with...
xxxx
MJV

I should have known it would be an 'off day' when the 1st photo of the day had an STD in the background!

The 'Hot Flash' Fan

The Doc hangs out in the hospital & doesn't work.

I'll miss you Grethe!!! All the best to you! xxxx

Day 292 - Round 3 of AVD

Well today was certainly a mish-mash of positives & negatives. Mom2 came with me & was by my side the entire day. Right up until we dropped her off & she sent me home with a turkey bun. (+) We scooted over to HomeSense while we waited for my drugs & she found some pots & woks she had been on the hunt for. (+) She kept me preoccupied & laughing when the treatment got crazy. (+) And she got to meet her new Doctor - my Doctor - Dr. Daly. (+)


And there was the treatment. Blood work was quick & relatively painless. (+) There was no fishing in my arm for a vein. (+) When it came time for chemo, they found a good vein (+) or did they? (-) By the third drug, Dacarbazine, my veins had had enough. My arm was cold to the touch, but the sensation was that of fire. (-) They slowed the drip rate down 3x, but it still hurt. (-) To make matters worse, I had to have an anti-emetic after the chemo. (-) They are out of the pill form of the usual anti-emetic I take, but they have the syrup. I took the syrup the last time & it was brutal on my teeth. Needless to say, I was tired & grumpy by the end of the session. 


Thankfully the Nurses were AWESOME as usual. Mom2 & I had been talking about the hospital a few days before & she thought I was absolutely mental when I said I looked forward to visiting with the Nurses & how friendly & nice everyone was. Only now did she understand my thoughts! We enjoyed visiting with the girls & I even showed them Jaco & I's wedding photos from Namibia (which Mario just won another award with us in his portfolio!). It was priceless, as one of the Nurses was convinced that Jaco's profile looks exactly like Dr. Lategan & she found it her sole purpose that day to convince all the other Nurses to come & have a look at the profile. Her enthusiasm was infectious. (About the only infectious thing you'd want to pick up in a treatment room!) :o) We were all in stitches every time she would call another Nurse over to have a look.


I was excited to see that the Beautiful Sam was in the treatment room again. She makes my day. We enjoyed visiting about our dogs & I'm hoping she'll bring them out for a run on the ranch before the snow falls! 


Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that I would meet so many wonderful people while taking chemo treatments. I was the girl who was strictly opposed to any sort of Western Medicine intervention. I thought it was all one big pharmaceutical push & the Doctors were pretty much robots who were trained to have textbook answers for all the questions. Who would have thought I would ever meet Doctors & Nurses with *GASP* personalities!? I feel like I have another family & I still have 9 more rounds to go! I realize they see a lot of people come & go, but they have made this part of my journey absolutely enjoyable & I can't say enough how much I appreciate that. Hmm, they did mention something about coffee & chocolate... :o)


Of course, Mom had to stop at Costco. I shouldn't have gone in, but I did. Just stay in the car, Jill! But no. I was hungry & enjoyed the Caesar salad sample, so at least that made it worthwhile! Mom2 found another wok & Mom picked up her fruit fix for the week. 


We drove to Mom2's where she made me a delish turkey bun & then it was home time. I crashed on the way home (as in sleep - Mom was driving) & did my best to sleep off the effects of the drugs. 


Tonight was Valentina's last night in the big bed. Tomorrow she graduates to the Big Girl Bed when Papa gets here... Not long to go now! Can't wait!


xxxxx
Maria & Valentina

Oh where oh where is my Mexican Hot Pack?

Heating my veins for the poison

Iny saying, 'There, there! You see! It's Dr. Lategan!'

'Don't you think so!? It's him!'

'Her husband looks just like Dr. Lategan!'

Mom2 & I

Mom & I

A Rose between 2 Tulips (Dr. Daly & his two 'Favourite' patients - I'm recruiting to make it a family affair!) :o)

Day 285 - Death By An Ice Cream Cone.

Oh there is nothing like an alarm clock ringing at 0600 to bring your peaceful slumber to a screeching halt. Ugh. I think I must have been a koala or a sloth in a previous life, as I am NOT a morning person. Apparently neither is my dog. I let her sleep with me last night & when I woke up this morning, I couldn't see her. Usually she is curled up under the covers with me. I lifted the covers & she wasn't there. 'Valentina?' I called. The pillow next to me started to move. I lifted up the corner of it & there she was, completely outstretched the length of the pillow! What a girl!


I didn't have a very pleasant sleep. I had been up until 0130 frantically looking for my requisition sheet & also the little card with the time of my appointment on it. No luck. I couldn't find it anywhere! I looked through all my papers, my binders, appointment books, books I was reading (in case I'd used it as a bookmark!), the car, everywhere! I finally resigned to the fact that it was gone. Of course, as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I had the 'flash' in my mind that Mom had it. She did. It was in a pile of papers in her office. (From 2 weeks ago!) ARGH! 


Naturally, after I finally decided to go to bed, I couldn't fall asleep. My feet were FREEZING! I don't like to wear socks to bed, as I get too hot. But tonight was an exception. I turned on the light & put on a pair of fuzzy socks. Ahh, much better. 


As I laid in bed, trying my best to get the most out of the 5.5 hrs I had left before I had to wake up, I hear this little 'Brrzzzzzzz' noise. It's a mosquito. ARGH! I turn on the light & try to find the pesky little critter. I find him, but I can't reach him. So, I spray him with my room freshener. Apparently they don't like lavender or peppermint (so Yahoo! News tells me) which is perfect because my spray has both of those in it. Sure enough, he disappears. I don't know if it's the heavy coating of spray on his wings or the smell, but either way, I can peacefully go back to bed. I turn out the lights & settle back in, warm under the covers. I'm starting to get sleepy, very sleepy, when... BRRZZZZZZZ... AGAIN!!! Another pesky mosquito, or the other one dried off! Lights back on & spray in hand, I find him. I douse him in more room freshener, cursing with every spritz! Ahhh... Silence. NOW I can finally get some rest. I turn on the fan to deter them from landing anywhere near me. Yes, I'm still freezing cold, but rather cold than bitten. Priorities, you know? 


I finally fall asleep, only to wake up half an hour later dripping with sweat. Yes, dripping. Running down my back, shirt soaked sweat. Gross. Is this what menopause looks like? Have I hit the chemo induced menopause? Great. Apparently night sweats are one of the symptoms of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but why would I START getting them after I have started treatment? Whatever the case may be, I'm not excited about that! (Yes, I took the socks off after that!)


Now you understand why I wasn't tickled to hear the alarm! Regardless, I get up & into the shower, dressed & out the door, only a 1/2 hour late! We made it to the hospital in record time - 45 minutes - and we even took 16th Ave! It's shaping up to be a great day!


I head straight for the lab, nervous that I'm going to get the same 'Fisherman' to take my blood today. Luckily it's a gal & she was great! I only waited about 10-15 minutes today. They're getting better! 


I headed for the Outpatient Area & waited with Mom. About 5 minutes after we sat down, the Nurse came & took us to the appointment room. Iny (eenee) came & took my height, weight, blood pressure & oxygen saturation. I find it funny that they take my height, as if I'm going to have a growth spurt half way through my treatment! I always wanted to be 5'10". Sigh. I somehow managed to lose 1.5 lbs in the past 2 weeks. I would have sworn I had gained at least 10 lbs. Things are feeling slightly out of place these days! 


Dr. Daly wasn't at the hospital yet & my bloodwork wasn't back yet, so Mom & I waited. While we were waiting, I thought I better jot down what I needed to ask him about. At the top of the list was Michael Buble. I have tickets to his concert & it falls on chemo day, so I wanted to know if I could bump my chemo by a day. I told the Nurse, Michael & Dr. Daly both give me 'fever', but it a very different way... :o) I was asking Mom what else I needed to ask (don't worry, I had other priorities besides Michael!) & Mom mentioned the tongue thing. After my last round, I had this bizarre sensation at the back of my tongue. Every thing I drank or ate made my tongue pucker. Much like I'd been eating a lemon. It was really strange. I hadn't been able to accurately describe it up until now. I rattled off about 6 adjectives of what it was like. I said I'd better write it down or I'll forget. I grabbed my notepad & said to Mom, 'Now, what did I say?' She couldn't remember. Nor could I! I was mad she wasn't listening & I was even more made that my brain let me down! I went to the car to get my iPod & use the thesaurus (why is it named something like a dinosaur, btw?). I don't have a thesaurus on my iPod. So I dig out my laptop. Not much help. Tingling was the only other word I could find besides the puckering & pins & needles words I was able to remember! ARGH! (I still haven't thought of them 24 hrs later!)


Dr. Daly finally came in & we had a chat. He liked the haircut. I told him 'You guys are onto something. Now, can I keep it?' He just smiled. I asked a few of my questions & then, with a knock at the door, my blood work is delivered. My Neutrophils are 0.7. They need to be 1.4. No treatment today. WHAT?! But what about the shots? They were for nothing? I got eColi for nothing?!? ARGH! So, we wait another week. I asked Dr. Daly if this would affect my success & he said there haven't been any studies done on it. Hmm. That was very vague & nonspecific. Great. Oh well... I've kicked butt this long... Why not a little longer!? :o)


So, we had the day off! Actually, the week off! It kind of messes things up, as now I'll be picking Jaco up the day after treatment & now it will put me finishing treatment on the 15th of December (Merry Christmas to me!), Sylvia is visiting next week & well, I guess Chemo would pretty much cramp anyone's style! :o) So, I'll just roll with it!


We headed over to Chestermere to visit Mom's friend. We stayed for an hour or so & then decided to head home. While we were leaving, Mom commented that she felt like a drumstick. I said, 'Gross!' She replied, 'No, not the chicken kind, the ice cream kind.' I still said gross. There was a Cold Stone Creamery inside the Tim Horton's, so I told her to stop there & I would treat her to an ice cream cone. We both got waffle cones with French Vanilla & Key Lime. Away we go...


And then... It was a near death experience. Thanks to the ice cream cone. Mom wolfs down her cone & I'm slowly enjoying every creamy, cool spoonful of mine. She's gnawing away on the cone when she turns to me & says, 'Remember when I used to tell you kids to never eat the bottom out of your ice cream cone?' 
'Yes' (truthfully no, but anyhow...)
'Well, look what I just did!'
Great Mom, do you want a gold star? I said that in my mind, not out loud. What's the big deal about eating your cone upside down? And then I found out.
'Oh crap!' Mom exclaims, as ice cream drips on her chest, somehow hitting her skin & not her necklace, seatbelt or shirt. 


Then she realizes she needs to lick quick. Both hands are on the cone/wheel, mix in a spoon, napkin & plenty of oncoming traffic on a very narrow road in the industrial area (think Mack trucks) and it was one scary experience! I nearly died in a head-on handsfree dairy collision! This will officially be the last time I treat Mom to an ice cream cone! Additionally, lest we forget the decision to use the other lane, without realizing it ends & we're nearly sandwiched between to big trucks! It was close! 


I often lament about my mother's driving & she jokes by saying she always asks her Angels to keep her safe. I told Jenn about it one day & then shortly after, Mom was driving her cargo trailer on the #2 to Nanton when the trailer came unhitched. It was a 7 minute freebie fix & she was back in action. Jenn said she must have a thousand Angels keeping her safe. Today was no exception to the 'Thousand Angel Rule'!!! 


SAFELY back at home, I managed to catch Jaco on Skype before he went to bed & then I had a nap. I woke up to Mom slamming the doors & then the car driving away. She had a meeting in town, so I was home alone. I chatted with a few friends (5 messages during my 2 hour nap!) and played with the dogs. Mom came home & we tried & tried & tried to get Oceana to play with the laser pointer. Nope. Nada. She wasn't the least bit interested in it. I thought maybe she was colour blind? Anyhow, I let Valentina out of my room to chase the laser & it was like letting a barrel horse into the arena - she went crazy! She runs so fast! Pretty soon her tongue was hanging out & it was time to call it quits. What a girl. 


And what a day. Here's to a smooth, timely remainder to my treatments. Let's just get on with it!


Lekker slaap!
Maria & Valentina
xxxxxxx

Adios & the deer have a stand off. Seriously! They walked circles around each other for a good 20 minutes.

Lazy way to exercise the dog!

My 'Bright Light' Psychopath!

Day 272 - Round 2 of AVD

Crud. I just checked the blog & I’m a week behind. That bites. It’s going to be a struggle to catch up. Bear with me!!!

Today was round 2 of AVD. My doctor’s appointment was at 0900, which meant I had to be there by 0800 for blood work. However, I had seen Dr. Lategan’s appointment schedule when I left last week. There were NO empty spots & names were written up both sides & across the bottom of the page! He’s a busy, busy guy! While we had waited, they called about 12 people in 20 minutes to see him!!! Wowser!!! So, I took the liberty of sleeping a few more ‘snooze buttons’. We left the house at 0730, arriving at 0830 at the hospital.

I went straight to the lab for blood work. Today was only a CBC. The gal at the desk was slow as molasses. They took 2 people in the first 15 minutes I waited. When it was my turn, OH MY STARS!!!!!! YEOW!!! I swear that guy was digging through my entire forearm!!! He put the needle in, which hurt. Then he proceeded to rummage around for a vein like he was digging for a matching sock in the bottom of the drawer. It hurt so intensely that I actually yelped out loud! And I’m generally quite tolerant. He didn’t seem to care that he was inflicting pain upon me. Thanks buddy.

I didn’t have to wait long to see Dr. Lategan. I had Nurse Andrea take my particulars (weight, height, blood pressure & sats). We got to chatting & she helped me out with the receptionist/medical secretary issue. I’ve been given the number for her supervisor & I will definitely get in touch with her!

Dr. Lategan came in & ticked a few patients off the list & then informed me that my Neutrophils were high enough to proceed with treatment. (1.8 & then need to be minimum 1.4) Great! We had a quick chat about Neupogen & when I would take them & I could do them in my thigh – not my belly as I had been worried about! He reassured me that the nasty side effects I’d found out about – ruptured spleen à death, bone pain, etc, etc… would most likely be minimal. Well, the death part anyhow, but not the bone pain. I’ll have bone pain due to the large amounts of neutrophils being produced in the bone, but it is manageable with Tylenol. The enlarged spleen happens with patients who have to take Neupogen every day. Thank goodness I will only be taking shots on Wednesdays & Thursdays the week after chemo.

We were just finishing up the appointment when Dr. Lategan felt my neck & commented, ‘Hmm, yep, they are still there. We’ll have to give you more poison this week.’ I love a Physician with a personality. :o)

I headed down to the Treatment Room & found an empty chair closest to the door. (Translation: closest to the toilet!) I just got settled & the needle put in my arm when the Nurses told me I could go for lunch or disappear for an hour or so if I liked. They would call me when my drugs were ready. Great, except for the fact that Mom had just left to get some food. I called her on her cell 8x & she was NOT answering. Knowing her she had it on vibrate, in her purse. Worst of all, she’d taken my wallet with her, so I couldn’t even find a snack close by! Grrr! Low & behold, she popped her head in the door a few minutes later. She had stopped to pay for her parking, waited in line for the bathroom & just got back to the car when she checked her phone & saw ‘WHAT?!? EIGHT MISSED CALLS?!?’ She said there were another 2 while she was checking the message… Hey, at least I’m persistent! :o)

We jetted over to Booster Juice for a vegetarian panini. I love them, but they put onions in them. I usually have to pick them out. I asked today if they could make one without onions. The lady said it was my lucky day, as she was out of onions, so none of the sandwiches had them! :o) We just sat in the car when the cell phone rang. It was the clinic & they had my meds already! We scooted over to Jugo Juice (I think they have better smoothies) & then quickly back to the hospital.

I was having an impatient morning with Mom. Her driving was driving me crazy & she wasn’t as rushed to get the chemo over with as I was. Perhaps I’m a patient to practice my patience. :oP

I settled back into my chair & Nurse Samantha started my treatments. She is a wonderful & beautiful young lady. I noticed a photo of her & a Chocolate Lab on the back of her ID card. We chatted about all sorts of things. She is very pleasant & very attentive. She checked my blood flow many times throughout the treatments, she reviewed the side effects & also the dosages I was receiving. I had a bit more of the Dacarbazine this time than previously. I don’t mind. The side effects of Dacarbazine include alopecia, nausea, vomiting, flu-like symptoms. Pretty mild compared to cardiac myopathy & peripheral neuropathy! I showed her our wedding photos, as I had them on the laptop.

I visited with a Welsh lady beside me. She had Leukemia & now has to have Gamma treatments once a month. A little bottle of this stuff costs $6000! Crazy! It has a certain cell (neutrophils maybe?) collected from 20,000 different people! But it keeps her neutrophils working & thus, keeps away infections.

They gave me another Ativan & it chilled me out nicely. In fact, I’m typing this in real time & I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open & can barely think straight! I’m sure I’ll be out cold on the way home!

I’ve been very happy thus far at the Peter Lougheed hospital. I must say, the Nurses & Doctors are fantastic & they are taking great care of me. I’m very grateful for the chance to be treated here. The crappy part? I’m on the downward slope of baldness. I have really enjoyed the buzz cut. I’m sad to have to say goodbye to it. I am even more sad to have to say goodbye to my eyebrows & lashes! Small things, I know, but it would be nice to keep them – even if it was only 5 or 10 hairs… Wishful thinking. I’ll just have to practice my make-up artistry in the meantime…

So, there you have it. Round 2 done & dusted. Survived another escapade & as Dr. Daly said, it’s nowhere near as bad as I had expected. Thank goodness!!!

We finished up at the hospital, a quick stop at HomeSense & Winners for Mom to find a frame & then it was home to bed. I was sound asleep by 1800! G'nite all!

A sleepy Maria & lonely Valentina (she didn’t get to come today)

xxxxx

Dr. Lategan - he's really tall & my angle (sitting) doesn't make him look any shorter! What a great Doctor though! Patience of a Saint or is it Patient's of a Saint?!? :oP

My Dancing Partner - I get the multi line machine as I need saline & chemo at the same time.

The treatment room. Everyone's chillin' out.

OMGosh - The Gorgeous Nurse who took care of me today - meet Sam! What a stunner!!!