Day 203 - Long Day in the City.

I suppose 13 is an unlucky number for a number of reasons. I've been fairly stressed these past few weeks. Can anyone understand why? I hope so! I had my first appointment at 1000 & my last appointment ending at 2200. Yes, that's 12 hours in the city & most of it spent in appointments. 


Mom decided she wanted to come along to see the Oncologist as well, so she drove. After 12 hours of her driving, well, let's just say that she has an awful lot of Angels watching over her. I have never seen anyone fail to signal, roll through stop signs without checking traffic, take so long to decide just which lane they are going to drive in or merge while doing 40 km/h. Oh my. I hate driving & I know I shouldn't complain, but I'm just sayin'.


Anyhow my Backseat Driving Vent is now complete. The first appointment was my lung function test. It was in the Foothills Hospital at the Pulmonary Lab. I had never been there before, so I asked for directions at Information. 'Oh yes, just take the elevator down one floor & head in the opposite direction.' And she points towards the Special Services building. Away I go. I walk. I walk some more. I keep walking. Still walking. Pretty soon I'm at the Nuclear Medicine desk where I was 2 days ago, which is on the border of Special Services & Tom Baker, so I know I'm totally lost. 


I ask the girls at the desk where EG3 (Pulmonary Lab) & they send me back the way I came in the opposite direction, PAST the elevators & my first left. Okay, it was my Hospital Marathon for the day. I think Information needs to talk a hike on their lunch break & learn the hospital instead of surfing on Facebook!


Eventually I find the lab. It didn't take them long to get started & the Tech was really nice. I sat in this shwanky glass cubicle & was given a new mouthpiece & a set of nose plugs. I did a lot of blowing. It was pretty interesting, but quite challenging. I don't have the length of breath that most people have. My lungs are healthy, but I'm shallow. (We knew that already!) :o) I couldn't complete the test time. (Yes, I'm freaking out a little) (I'll explain why in a little bit) The Tech assures me my lungs are fine & away I go.


Mom & I have blood work done next. The Tech there was also nice, but OH MY GOODNESS!! She slaughtered my arm! She saw my vein from the MUGA scan & said, 'Oh, you have a bruise. I better use the other arm.' I told her I had a hardened vein, so just be cautious of it. I think she used that exact vein. Either that or she completely shattered it! I was nearly in tears from the agony! OH MY STARS!!!! I could hardly bend my arm or lift anything for the rest of the day! What will tomorrow be like? To make matters worse she had to take several vials & the thin vials didn't want to fill - probably from the horrible job she did on finding a good vein! Because it didn't want to fill, she had to keep changing vials, popping them on & off, thus jarring the needle in my arm again & again. Ugh! Brutal! Where's Emily & Mika when I need them? The Nurse's from Castillo's clinic are far more skilled!!!! And much more fun to be around! :o)


Okay, next stop was Market Mall for a few things, then Costco, Ikea, Superstore & then back to the TBC. I had my appointment with the Oncologist at 1600. I was expecting him to try & talk me out of IVF & into starting chemo right away. Which was precisely what he tried to do. He told me I had a 94% chance of fertility after chemo. Wow! Impressive number! But when I asked for websites or papers, he didn't offer anything. When I asked about my heart & lung function tests, things took a shaky turn. I asked when we would do the next set of tests to see where I was at, he said we wouldn't be scheduling anything. He said I would let him know. Excuse me? How would I know? 'Oh, you'll know. You'll let me know,' he said, over & over. Great. So when I've got symptoms & it's too late to stop the damage before it starts, then you'll do a test, just to make sure? No, no, no, no, NO! Not acceptable for me!


He looked at my neck & claimed it had doubled in size since he saw me in March. I wasn't arguing with him, as it was quite 'cranky' right now & was definitely bigger. I think double might be exaggerating a bit, but... He said he also wanted to a month of radiation when I finished the chemo. After I picked up my jaw off the floor, I said I didn't like the sound of that. He said they radiate all tumors larger than 10 cm. I don't have tumors larger than 10cm. Okay, so collectively they are 10+cm, but that shouldn't count! According to him it does! 


He also tells me that he wants to do another CT scan. Ugh. Can't I do a PET? No, that's a PET-CT scan combined, so more radiation! Great. No wonder the cancer isn't going away... That will be 2100 chest x-rays in 8 months. February was the last one - which, btw, didn't show much, if any, growth, now this one & then again in 3-4 months. Then a month of radiation when I'm done?! No wonder it comes back!!! Grrr! I need a Lead paint job before I go back! :o)


I told him I would be ready to start treatment as soon as the egg retrieval is finished & he asked for it in writing. :o) At least he's getting a sense of humour along this long drawn out journey!


Btw, I've lost 10 lbs in the past 6 weeks. I'm not looking for it, so if you find it, DON'T BRING IT BACK TO ME! 


Mom & I went to CNF & then Jugo Juice for a wrap & smoothie. Jaco called & I chatted with him briefly about the appointment. Then it was time to go back to the hospital for the IVF Information Session. Mom dropped me off & headed to Neil's for prayers. 


Luckily, on my Hospital Marathon earlier today, I passed the auditorium twice, so I knew exactly where I was going! I was stunned! The room was packed! There must have been 50-60 people there! I had no clue infertility was such a huge issue! It was crazy! Dr. O'Keane, an Irish Doctor with a great sense of humour, gave the first portion of the talk. Then we heard from the Pharmacist, a Psychiatrist & a Nurse. It was fascinating! I was mesmerized by the obstacles that science has overcome - incredible! What an amazing job! The chance to give loving couples the chance to have a child of their own & the amazing ways that people have actually created to do just that! I had no clue what I was getting into when I agreed to do IVF! 


Check out their website: http://www.regionalfertilityprogram.ca & be sure to check out Dr. Foong. That's our Doctor. If you know someone who needs help, it's a great place to go! I did have the urge to stand up at the session & yell, 'I sell healthy maxipads - come see me later!', but I didn't. :o)


The session finished earlier than planned, so I called Mom & she had just left. I waited about 20 minutes for her to arrive, and while I waited, I played the Flag Game on my iPod. You gotta try it! I'm obsessed! I am learning the flags of the world. It's addicting & it's a free app... Pretty soon Mom arrived & we were on our way home. Finally! What a long day!


Before I bid you goodnight... A little more information on Bleomycin in my own understanding, which may not be scientifically correct. Correct me if I'm wrong. Bleomycin causes oxygen toxicity in 10% of patients & Pulmonary Fibrosis in 1% of patients. Basically is causes scar tissue in your lungs & if you are administered oxygen, say in surgery or while scuba diving, the scar tissue doesn't stretch like regular lung tissue. You can dive down like you normally would, but upon ascent, the lung would rupture & you would die. There is no cure for Pulmonary Fibrosis & if you get it, you're toast in about 5 years. Before you get Pulmonary Fibrosis, you'll get Pneumonitis. Guess what they treat Pneumonitis with? Yup, Prednisone. Everything about this drug just tells me to run away. Fast! 


When I got home, I googled Bleomycin & managed to find a study questioning the validity of Bleomycin in the ABVD protocol. You can read it here & tell me your opinion. 
ABVD & Bleomycin Study
Basically the people who were taking ABVD & had complications with Bleomycin stopped it. They continued with the AVD. At the end of the study, the people who took all 4 drugs for 12 rounds had a 91% success rate. The people who stopped Bleomycin part of the way through had a 90% success rate. 1% is about as identical as you can get. Lance Armstrong also opted out of Bleomycin. He did take Ifosphamide instead which causes a lot more nausea & vomiting, bladder issues & potentially Leukemia down the line, so no, I'm not taking that either. 


I'll keep researching & get a second opinion if time allows. Wish me luck on saving my lungs & my life! Sleep well - I know I will!


Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoo

No photos from today... Just this one of my favourite Physician & my favourite little girl!

Day 134 - It's Like Cuddling With A Cactus.

Well, I certainly wouldn't consider today one of my favourite days. Waking up at 0600 to go to a hospital & have big fat needles shoved into your neck. Yeah, not so much. Please note - My mother asked me at 0630 if there was anything else I wanted to wash with Valentina's bed. No, just leave it until I come home - was my reply. Remember this for later, folks.


I get to the hospital & say goodbye to Mom & Valentina. I make my way down to the same spot as last time. This time I took off my toque, but left my Uggs on. They called me in shortly after I'd changed. It was the same gal as before - Jude or Judy, I'm not sure. We went to the same room in the back. They have really tacky curtains, btw. Really old floral prints. Big flowers. Think 1980's or early 1990's. I asked if it was the same surgeon. Nope. Great. Here's hoping!


It was really quite bizarre. Dr. Preet gave me the low-down on my procedure while we waited for the Radiologist. Dr. Preet tells me they are doing a FNA (WRONG - Core Needle) on my Thyroid (WRONG - It's a lymph node). I'm thinking silently to myself, 'Oh buddy, you're really nice & all, but I think a few more years of school are in order.' My next thought was, 'Oh dear, please don't let him be the one who stabs me with a needle!'


The next bit that made me laugh was after the Radiologist had come in & started to prep things, the nurses/technicians said, 'She won't sign the consent form until she talks to you.' Um, hello? What else would I do? Sign it before I know what body parts you're removing?!? Especially after the last guy said they were poking around my Thyroid?!? Oh man, this is turning out to be a real gas!


I can't remember the Radiologist's name, but he was good. He had one of the gals phone the Pathologist's office to find out SPECIFICALLY what they needed to get a diagnosis. The gal that got the directions wasn't too swift at relaying exactly what was said. She cost me another needle!!! Grrr.


So previously, in my neck needle history, it went like this:
1. 3 Fine Needle Aspirations (FNA) in February 2008 - Sydney, Australia
2. 3 FNA's under Ultrasound in March 2008 - Sydney, Australia
3. 3 FNA's in June 2008 - Medicine Hat, AB by a horrible Surgeon who didn't listen.
4. 1 FNA, 2 Core Needle Biopsies - Calgary, AB by Dr. Cochrane


Well, today was a record breaking needle day. I kept my cool. I didn't feel nauseous, although I was really hoping I could start about half way through the procedure! The Radiologist was okay with my Chemo Fit collection, although Jude made it sound like I was asking him to give me a boob job at the same time - 'I don't know anything about it. You'll have to discuss it with him!' Once he had okayed it, I gathered I would need one extra needle, putting me at, gulp, 4 needles. 


Yeah, I counted the number of times that plastic contraption slammed into my neck. I stopped counting at 5. They told me they ONLY did it 10 times, but I'm sure it was closer to 12. Yup. 10 (for sure) 18 gauge needles slammed into my poor little (large) lymph node. I can't believe I lasted that long. I said after the 5th slam, 'Okay, that's enough now, right? We're done?' 'Nope, just 3 more.' 'THREE MORE?!?' 'Yep.'


When we were done, the Radiologist tells me I was the best patient ever. Yeah, no doubt. Who else tolerates 10 chunks ripped out of their neck? But I will give him credit. It was an awkward place to try & maneuver that contraption & use the ultrasound 'wand'. He was quite verbal about his frustrations - 'What a dumba** contraption! Who invented this thing? Gosh, isn't there an easier way to do this?' At least he made me laugh. At one point, his Resident was helping him hold the contraption. The Radiologist says, 'Move that. No that. With that.' I would have been going insane, had it been me helping him! What's that? With what?!?! :o) The Radiologist also commented on my Uggs. He bought a pair when he was in Australia & he told me one of the funniest things he ever saw was a girl on the beach in Hawaii, wearing Uggs. 


So, I finished up & they wanted me to sit on a bed in the hallway for 1/2 an hour. Was this the 'recovery bed' the Oncologist's nurse was referring to when I couldn't get in any sooner for the biopsy because they needed a recovery bed? While I was sitting there, I felt the back of my neck. Yep, there was blood all over the back of it. Nothing like cleaning a gal up before you boot her back into the real world! I asked for a washcloth to wipe it off & the nurse brings me a dry washcloth! Thanks!


I realized later they had put the needle into the same spot all ten times. The freezing hadn't been as thorough as the previous time. I didn't feel great pain, but I could certainly feel discomfort & pressure during each needle. At one point, the needle went in & I could feel a twinge in a nerve that went up the side of my neck to the base of my head. Not cool! After that needle, he gave me more anaesthesia, which I felt tingling instantly down my left arm, all the way to my elbow! 


I chugged my MCP Pina Colada, changed my clothes, wet the washcloth & finished the job! I called Mom to come & collect me & we began our hunt for a courier to ship the collection off.


We went to Market Mall, thinking they would have a UPS Store we could post it from. No UPS Store. But lo & behold, there was a UPS & a Fed-Ex parking outside the mall. I stalked the UPS driver to ask him of the nearest location, but he told me they couldn't send Biohazard material. He suggested Fed-Ex. So I waited 3 minutes for the Fed-Ex guy & he sent me to a shop about 5 minutes away. We followed his directions, but couldn't find the store. I stopped at the bank to take care of that & then asked one of the gals for directions to the store. She was so nice! She looked it up online, called & made sure they were still at that location... What a nice lady! I love the TD Bank! 


We crossed the main road & found the shop. It was the fullest shop I have ever seen. You could hardly walk anywhere & set anything down, it was chokka block with stuff. Apparently they were moving. Apparently they were so busy moving the fellow running the shop didn't have time for a shower. For a long time. Ugh. I know I smell, but at least I wash my hair! Eew. His wife helped me, who didn't smell, and assured me that the package would be there by noon tomorrow. I paid $107 for shipping. Not bad for a $3000 test! Thank you Government of the USA for the grant!


We motored back to Market Mall & I picked up Apple Care for my Mac. I wanted to also stop at the Professional Building to find a holistic Doctor working there. I had told Jaco about my troubles with my needles - my right leg is pretty much toast - and he suggested I try an IV. I thought I'd see if they could put a port in for a few days to give my leg a rest. The trouble was I couldn't remember the Doctor's name. Some friends of mine had told me about him & all I could remember was that he was cocky & had red hair. 


I asked around some of the offices for a holistic Doctor, but no one knew anything. Fine. There are only 2 floors, I'll just go from door to door until I find the Doctor. Half way around the 2nd floor, I find the office. Everyone else was a Dentist & this one said something about 'Orthomolecular' medicine or something. This had to be it! I walked in & looked around. The receptionist asked if she could help me & I replied, 'Is the Doctor who works here red haired & cocky?' She laughed & said, 'That would be Dr. Johnson, yes.' 


I explained what I was after & she said I'd have to talk to his assistant, who came over briefly & the receptionist told her I was waiting to talk to her. When the assistant left, the receptionist whispered over the counter to me, 'That's his wife, so maybe don't tell her you think he's cocky!' My eyes widened & I thanked her for the tip!


I talked to his wife briefly about my situation & apparently they had recently been to Tijuana & toured some of the clinics! They were really up on IPT, but Dr. Johnson has a waiting list & is booked until June! 


While I had been waiting, a gentleman slipped me a piece of paper under the counter & said he'd like to talk to me & would wait outside for me. Um, okay. Sounds kinda fishy. 


Sure enough, he was waiting for me. He didn't want to sell me anything or feed me religion, he just wanted to share his ideals. He seemed genuine enough, so I grabbed Mom from the truck & we walked over to the food court to chat. 


He is from Germany & shared a lot of information with us. Some of it I knew, some of it was new to me. It put an interesting twist on things. About half way through our chat, my fatigue hit. It was time to go home. One more stop at the bankruptcy place & we made our way home. 


Mom had some where to go, so she left shortly thereafter. I went to bed & woke up a little later on. I was talking to a girlfriend, when I remembered Valentina's bed was in the wash. I went to take it out when I saw 'it'. I was horrified. 


My toque. My beloved Swedish toque. My beloved boiled WOOL Swedish toque that I paid way too much for & no one else on the planet has one like it. Shrunk. So small it barely fits my dog & makes her look like Marvin the Martian with a big tail. I was filled with rage, a few expletives, and then sorrow. How would I ever get back to Sweden to replace my toque? 


I was so angry! Why on EARTH did my Mother have to do laundry at 0630? And why didn't she check to see what was in there? I immediately went online & googled the Swedish Tourism Board to see if they could put me in touch with the shop. I knew where it was in Gamla Stan, but I didn't know the name of it. 


My friend I was talking to at the time of the toque discovery was telling me about her child's potting training & how well it was going... All of a sudden I start yelling & cursing... She was pretty confused at how excited I was about her son's toilet triumphs! 


Speaking of excited, er, stoked, tomorrow is the Level 3 of the Yuen Method. I'm pumped to learn more & cement in the method. Wish me luck! 


Love & hugs & healing & happy toque dreams,
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Just another day at the office.

One of these times I'll get lucky & it will be Brad Pitt's dressing room or Michael Buble's...

It's somebody's life & I hope it all ends well!

'The Recovery Room'

The entrance... I should have shot the floral curtains! No, there isn't a 'Next Time!'

The trucks of the drivers I stalked to find a shop!

Wahhhh! My beloved Swedish Toque.

Now what?

While I type this, I think I just realized that the body of the toque shrunk, but the tail didn't!

Day 122 - Yuen Method Day 2

Up & at it again, I was out the door a little later than planned. I am one of those people who likes to hit the snooze button. Again & again. I’ve been known to press snooze for 1 hour. I know, just reset the alarm, right? Well, I must say, I LOVE the feeling of being able to hit snooze & fall back asleep. I think it comes from reading Farley Mowat’s ‘Never Cry Wolf’ in school… I had an obsession with wolves for a time & I remember reading how wolves only sleep for 15 minute intervals, they get up & turn around, then go back to sleep. I press snooze, wake up every 5 minutes & roll over. That counts, right? :o)

Anyhow, I managed to make it to class on time, saw Joe in his groovy Parks van on the way to work – oh the perks of a Government job!

I shared with the class that I felt a little like the dumb kid in math class. I had no clue what I was doing, but I was there. Jessica reassured me that this was completely normal. I was excited to learn that she is offering a small level 3 class in 2 weeks time. I jumped at the chance to take it! It focuses more specifically on cancers, fetuses & sex. I suppose now that it’s not cancer, I can focus on the sex? :o)

We worked in partners & things became a little clearer, although, I must say, I am still a little foggy in some areas. I promise I will keep plugging away. I’ve got a lovely drive across rural Canada these next 10 days, so I’ll have plenty of time to practice.

If you have any issues, health or otherwise, I would highly recommend calling Jessica. She’s done some amazing things! http://www.intuitiveedge.ca

Oh, I did visit the pool & hot tub over lunch. It was spectacular! I haven’t been in the hot tub since Mexico, so I felt like I was there, if only for a moment. I’ve also realized that not only will I be missing my friends from Dr. Castillo’s clinic, but I no longer have my hairdresser! I was so excited to have another silent haircut! That was the best $13 I ever spent! But I suppose I can forgo the haircut in exchange for a no cancer bill of health! Oh yeah!

On another note… Needles. I called Dr. Castillo on Friday to ask him about my protocol & whether or not I should keep taking the needles & all the pills. He said to keep going. Come on! Really? I can’t take a break? Needles once every three days? At least? Nope. So, like a true junkie, there I sat in the bathroom at the Delta. After my swim, I pricked myself in the leg. I must say, it was very distracting, trying to focus on jabbing myself, with other ladies giggling, talking & making all sorts of bodily functioning noises next to me. How happy will I be when I no longer have to do these needles!

Alright… Tomorrow is the big day. Day 1 of the big road trip! Luckily I’m still packed for Mexico, so I will just exchange a few shorts for sweats, a few tanks for sweaters & I should be good to go!

Sleep well & I’ll be seeing you in Speedy Creek! (Swift Current, SK)

Maria & Valentina

xxxxxx

Pool tiles

Gotta love a good hot tub over lunch!

Our class!

Jessica