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Showing posts with label pills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pills. Show all posts

Friday, July 02, 2010

Day 253 - Like A Wet Noodle.

Yup. That pretty much sums it up. I am officially feelin' the 'chemo fatigue'. I feel like I'm either 2 or 92, but either way, I can't make it through the day without a nap. Guess I'll be getting used to taking it easy!


I woke up at 0400, took another pill. Then again at 1000. Decided I was tired of taking these pills every 6 hours, so I called the hospital & asked when I could quit. I never did feel nausea, but I was afraid to stop the pills in case I did! It's now late & I haven't had any nausea whatsoever! Yay! 


I have drank 3L of water & my lips are still chapped. The plumbing still ain't workin' properly & I'm not sure what to do next! I feel a little like I've been dragged behind a stagecoach by my ankles, but in all honesty, the day was pretty slack. 


Dieter surprised us with a visit, accompanied by Hubertus & Victoria, 2 Germans en route to Oregon, San Francisco & Las Vegas. I have met Hubertus previously - he's a cutie... Like a young Brad Pitt. Sorry, no photos of him!


Mom dashed off for a whirlwind of southern Alberta stops for the day & I was left at home to fend for myself with the dogs. I spent most of the day trying to figure out the firmware update for my camera. I apparently needed the cd that I NEVER NEED, so it took me awhile to find it. Luckily I don't often throw things out! :oP I have finally figured out (sort of) how to record video on my SLR! Yippee!!! I formatted a hard drive to give to Mike & Jenn - we made a trade, I'll edit their wedding photos in exchange for some TV shows to watch while I'm stuck at home. Works for me! 


I finished sorting through the pile of papers sitting on my desk. They are all hole-punched & tabbed in binders, neatly organized! I programmed the MagicJack to send to Africa with Jaco & attempted at organizing mine so I can actually use it! If it weren't for the plethora of cables stemming from Mom's desk & the frequent power outages this evening, I might have had a bit more success! Oh well, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time ahead of me. It feels so weird not to have plans to go anywhere. I feel like I'm grounded by my own will. I NEVER stay home. Any bets on how many days until I get cabin fever???? :o)


The Burnett's arrived about 1700. They are camping in the yard for the weekend. They acquired a travel trailer & wanted to test it out, so I suggested they bring it this weekend. They have a house nearby if need be & they're not stuck in the back 40 somewhere! Harrison had a hay day. He ran & ran & ran, chasing 'Tina' & 'Nana', playing with a toy helicopter I found for him. He was still ready to run come 2230 - LONG past his bedtime! It will be interesting to see how he feels tomorrow! Every child needs wide open spaces. I am so grateful for the freedom I had as a child. I feel sorry for kids that grow up in cities & towns, without the opportunity to run wild & free. 


Anyhow, before I get too carried away, Laura phoned! She's alive! I was beginning to wonder! She's been crazy busy, poor girl! We had a great chat & I'm hoping it will work to get together this summer! I miss her & her family!


Okidoki, I'm signing off for tonight. I'm so exhausted, it's not even funny! I hope you had a great Canada Day & here's to a great weekend! xxxxx Maria & Valentina p.s. - today is my last full day with hair! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!


'Nana'



Cheese!


Giochiamo?


What intensity!


Oh to be young again!


'Tina' & 'Nana'











Day 2 post chemo - symptoms included:
-Chills
-Low grade fever
-Muscle aches
-Dehydration
-Plumbing problems
-Little to no appetite
-Absentmindedness (but perhaps this was a condition pre-chemo!)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Day 233 - Finally! The Sun Shines!

Tonight's cup of tea (Yogi - Lemon & Ginger) had a bag tag. It read: "Don't take pride in taking. Give & you will be given virtues." I think I drink the tea partially because I like the element of surprise every time I open up the packet of tea! (Hey, it's the small things!)


Sweet sleep, oh, how I have missed you! I had a nice lie-in, mildly interrupted by Valentina's wet & cold nose & by my Mother coming in to study her appearance in the full-length mirror. I suppose it could have been worse. I piddled away on the laptop for a bit & tried to figure out in my head how on earth I was going to juggle all my pills. It's tough! I've only added 3 more, but it's a struggle to get it all in!


Here's the schedule:
a.m. - 5x EMPower (Super Multi-Vitamin), 1x Thymune, 2x Curcumin, 1x Green Tea, 1x Beta-Glucan, 2x Probiotic, 1x Garlic, 1x Quercitin, 2x Fibre, 2x Graviola, 1 tsp of Vitamin C, 1/2 tsp of Baking Soda, 1 tsp of Hoxsey


mid-a.m. - 2 BMD (Calcium/Boron), 3x Wobenzym


Noon - 5x EMPower, 2x Curcumin, 1x Beta-Glucan, 2x Graviola, 1 tsp of Hoxsey


mid-Afternoon - 2 BMD, 3x Wobenzym


Supper - 5x EMPower (Super Multi-Vitamin), 1x Thymune, 2x Curcumin, 1x Green Tea, 1x Beta-Glucan, 1x Quercitin, 2x Graviola, 1 tsp of Hoxsey


Bedtime - 2 BMD, 3x Wobenzym


What's the big deal? Well, I have to take the EMPower & Hoxsey with food & the calcium & Wobenzym without. The antibiotics from the fertility clinic are taken morning & night & have to taken WITH FOOD, but nothing with CALCIUM or IRON. Add in 2 shots at 1300 hrs & it's a full day! Eat, pills, wait. Eat, pills, wait. It will be a happy day when the antibiotics are finished! (The needles are a laughing matter after my 10 ml shots!)


I finished up my 7 loads of laundry, seeing as I've been home so little, it's really added up! Thank goodness I bought 35 new pair of undies when I was in San Diego the first time! :o) 


Valentina & I had a stroll out back & it was rather short lived. Her short legs & the number of fallen trees & massive mud puddles & bogs to trek through has us back home in a 1/2 hour! Oh well. I bought her a new bouncy ball & we had a blast playing fetch in the yard.


I used the clothes shaver on my lulu lemon duds. They look like new! De-pilling could be my new obsession! I sat outside in the glorious sunshine & de-pilled. I also finished a book by Katrina Bos. She's a Canadian author with an interesting family history of cancer. The book is entitled 'What if you could skip the cancer?'. Funnily enough, my friend, Jenn, told me about it & I ended up finding it in Superstore. It's been an insightful book. It discusses the personality traits of people who get cancer & helpful ways to overcome it & move your life in a positive forward direction. She discusses the challenges of change & I couldn't agree more! :o) I'll be making my best efforts to heed her advice. Here is a quote from the book I enjoyed:
Chapter 15 - Becoming Who You Really Are
Katrina was looking for guidance & she had begun to read the Bible, after much resistance. She shared this:
"One time, I was reading the parable of the talents. It is a story about a master who goes on a journey & so he entrusts his property to his servants. He gives a number of 'talents' to three of his servants, according to their abilities: five to one, two to another & one to another. While he's gone, the first two use these talents & make more money for their master. But the third one digs a hole & hides his talent to keep it safe. 
   When the master comes back, he is thrilled with the first two servants. But he is furious with the third. In fact, he even takes away the talent that he had given him & gives it to one of the other servants. 
   Well, I had read that story before. But on that day, it completely took my breath away. I was that third servant! I had been given talents & had chosen to hide them away. I had been given talents! But because I was choosing to live as someone else's second-in-command, I was not using them.
   But I couldn't blame anyone else. It was me who didn't have the courage to use them. I didn't want to cause a stir, although deep down, I probably would have loved to cause a stir - to be the centre of attention for my talents. But that just didn't fit into what I could imagine at that point.
   So now that I had buried my talents, was I in jeopardy of having them taken away? Or had they already been taken away? I supposed that it was a moot point because I wasn't using them anyway.
   It was time for me to become who I actually was. It was time to unearth those talents & start honing them & using them. No more hiding. No more pretending to be less than I am. 
   It was time to truly become me."


These words resonated with me. I had just been having a talk with Jenn, the friend who recommended the book, about what I wanted to do with my life & how I felt stagnant in my creative life. And I will be the first to admit that I have buried my talents FAR, FAR away, as I am PETRIFIED at the thought of criticism, failure, rejection... all those yummy things.


So, I paged through my jewelry design catalogs, picked out a name for the company, also inspired by Katrina's book, listed my old camera for sale on Kijiji & hopefully the gear will sell & I can get crackin' on being creative. I've also read here (scroll to bottom of page) about the lymphatic system being emotionally related to one's creativity: 


"Sometimes we get stuck in a particular pattern of stress that reduces our capacity to make positive changes. Your lymph can become blocked when you are feeling stuck or unable to express yourself. Remember that your life, too, is a progression, and “our biography becomes our biology.” If you find the same situations arising over and over, you may want to take a closer look. You may find that as your lymph system unbinds, so does your spirit."


Makes sense to me!


So, it was a big day! Now it's just to put it to action!


I have had the realization today, also through the help of Katrina's book & recent events in my life, that ultimately, I am alone in this whole ordeal. No matter who I think is supporting me, they will inevitably let me down. I can not count on anyone to be here 100% for me. I suppose that would be asking too much of anyone anyhow. Regardless of the percentage, it's no one else's Game of Life, but my own. A big depressing & a LOT disappointing, but this is the reality of it all.


On that bright shiny note, I'm going to finish my cup of tea & go fold 7 loads of laundry. :o) Sweet dreams & see you tomorrow...


xxxxx
Maria & Valentina


Okay, so despite the rubbish, I always like this little patch of grass...

One of Valentina's obstacles that I thought was pretty.

Another obstacle that neither of us cared to conquer! Reverse! Short legs in bog... not a good idea!

Pretty trees, pretty pathway.

 A little surprise clematis

Moss growing on the ?? side of the tree

Little Miss

Every day is a winding road...








Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day 157 - Go Potty! Pee Pee! Poo Poo! Deposita! (Per Favore!) (!!!!!)

A large chunk of the day was spent in an attempt to train Valentina to go potty in a 4x4 box of wood shavings. Yesterday was much the same, but Mom let her outside in the evening (& morning) by 'accident' & of course, she did her business elsewhere. 


She clearly had to go. (Valentina, not Mom) Every time I would walk near the porch, she would run to the door & look at me. Okay, I'd put on my shoes & take her outside. I'd plop her down in the shavings & say the commands: 'Poo poo, pee pee, deposita, go potty!' And she'd just stare blankly at me. I put the wire corral around it & left her out there for awhile. Nope. Nothing. I fed her some canned food. Nothing. Water? Nothing. I could feel her little belly wanting to burst every time I picked her up. I put grass in the shavings. Nothing. Some of her earlier 'deposits'. Nothing. Feeling exasperated I asked Mom, 'What do you think would happen if I pee'd in a cup & put in on the shavings?' She laughed at me. I did it. STILL NOTHING!!! Come on!!! Then Mom said to take out some shavings so the grass would be available. Maybe I had too much shavings. Okay, we shovel off the shavings (with gloves, of course, now that I contaminated it!). I put her into the grassy patches. Nothing. 


Mom's next idea was to let her go on the grass, but put shavings underneath her when she went so she would realize it was okay to go on the shavings. Okay, worth a try! I had Valentina's leash & was ready to say the command. I told Mom to get ready with the shavings, because I was betting it wouldn't take long! Not a split second onto the grass & Valentina let 'er rip. Mom was gawking somewhere else, so I harped, 'HURRY UP! Get the shavings under there before she's done!' Poor Valentina had no clue what we were trying to do. Of course, I told Mom to grab another handful quickly, as #2 was in hot pursuit! Mom's lucky she didn't wait a second more, it would've been nasty! I was laughing so hard I couldn't see what was happening for the tears in my eyes & running down my cheeks! 


So, Valentina went on the shavings, just not in the spot I'd prefer. I took her out later this evening, & nothing. Again. Oh please let it happen! Her poor little kidneys will be suffering! 


The packing drama is nearly complete. I think one case is SLIGHTLY overweight, but I've tried my best. Tomorrow I'll be running around like a chicken with my head off, but hopefully I'll manage to get it all done! I've hardly packed any clothes, as I'm so overweight, not much fits! Frustrating as it is, you'd think that would free up some space in the luggage! Not so! 


Mom made homemade Caesar dressing tonight, so despite the fact I'm no longer on DMSO, I still smell pretty funky! Here's hoping it's gone by tomorrow morning! 


Speaking of meds, I've managed to pack my pills into my luggage. I hope Customs isn't too suspicious! I have nothing to hide, but I hate it when they rifle through my stuff. I've got enough vials, needles & pills to open up my own Health Food Store! 


Alrighty, enough potty talk for one day... I'm off to bed... Hope your day was a grand one & I'll see you soon!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
Maria & Valentina


She loves her red ball!

Let's play Mama!


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