Day 354 - Round 7 or Not.

Today was supposed to be chemo, but it wasn't. I chickened out. Hardcore.

My blood work was good, so I was able to have the treatment. We made arrangements to go for something to eat & then come back in one hour when my drugs were ready. I was so worked up about the treatment that I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't eat anything & I had to go to the bathroom a lot. I was nearly in tears. Finally Jaco said to me, 'You don't have to do it today. We can come back another day.' That was the best news I'd heard all day. I was so stressed out about the treatment.

The crazy part was that I hadn't even received a drug & I already felt sick! My mind was playing some dirty tricks on me! Jaco went into the treatment room & told them I wouldn't be having treatment today. They weren't too impressed, but I didn't care. I wasn't in any form to receive a droplet of chemo.

We drove home & I slept for awhile. I then phoned Dr. Castillo & asked him what I should do. I called Andrea, the girl who had the same lymphoma as I did & who also did chemo. I read scriptures & a few parts from a book called Battlefield of the Mind. It worked. I came to grips with the fact that it really is 'all in my head'. Scary!

Unbelievable that a few thoughts could take me on a runaway train down a dark path. By the end of the day, I was ready to go back to the hospital & face the music. Don't ask me how I'll make it to #12, but I am ready for #7.

I had decided (prior to today) that I was only going to do 8 rounds. I was going to have my scan & when it was good (or bad) I was going to stop chemo & do something else. Enough already. However, Dr. Castillo told me not to quit, as did Andrea. I thought she had only done 8 rounds, but she told me she did all 12. Poof. There went the wind out of my sails. I was hoping to sneak out the back door before anyone noticed. Not happening now! Andrea also suggested (for about the 4th time) (I'm dense sometimes!) that I take acupuncture for anxiety. She did & it worked wonders for her.

Fingers crossed & prayers answered... Wish me luck tomorrow!

xxxxMJV&O

Day 281 - Nothin' Like A Good Ol' Thunderstorm!

Another relatively uneventful day... Wake up, check messages, have breakfast, sit outside & read for a bit... Not too enthralling.

I had been up late last night helping Mom rescue one of her hard drives & this morning I took it to her first thing. She seemed quite ungrateful that I'd helped her out - not sure where her head space was at. But then later, all was revealed. She wants to give away Oceana. 

Yeah, I'm pretty much devastated. She hasn't even had her for 3 months & she's already trying to pawn her off. Worst of all on some fellow from her past that treated her like junk... What's he going to do to the dog??? Over my dead body will she give poor Oceana to him!

So, now it looks like I've got 2 dogs. I haven't done any training with Oceana because she's Mom's dog & I didn't want to interfere. I dug out my 51 Puppy Tricks book & the training will commence tomorrow. I get so frustrated with my Mother sometimes. I feel like she tries to 'fix' an area of her life, but gets confused at which one is the most important! The saddest part of all is poor Oceana! She is very submissive & has latched onto Mom like no dog I've ever seen. Mom can't go anywhere without Oceana hot on her heels. 

I'll start taking a list of anyone who wants to dog sit while I'm visiting Jaco this winter! :o) 

I joked with a friend of mine today that I'm sure Mom would have pawned my brother & I off had she been given the chance... Now that I think of it, I do have that one girlfriend who looks A LOT like Mom & she's a few years older... Hmm...

Needless to say, I wanted out of the house, so I put the girls' matching raincoats on & went down to EVIC. The thunder started to roll half way there & we arrived just in time for it to start pouring. We sat inside & observed the flashes while Joe counted the time between lightning & thunder. Some of them were pretty close!

I waited awhile before I walked back home in the rain. The girls didn't really like their raincoats. At one point, I felt like I was dragging both of them, instead of them walking on their own. I turned around & sure enough, I was dragging them! Their hoods had fallen down over their eyes & they couldn't see a thing! All I could see was a red or pink coat with a little black nose poking out the front end & a tail out the back! 

They were both caked in mud & dirt by the time we arrived home, so I carried them straight to the tub. A quick rinse & towel dry & they were good as new. They had a blast ripping around the house playing & drying off. One excited wiener dog is fun, never mind two of them!

I decided to bake something this evening. I found a recipe for banana bread in my Caribbean cookbook (Thanks Winners!) that sounded good. Of course, I don't use the regular ingredients & well, I think I'll have to bake it a few times to perfect it. I used raw sugar instead of light brown sugar, coconut flour instead of self-rising flour, almond milk instead of milk... The flour made things pretty dry. I added more milk & an extra egg. Additionally, it said to grease the tin, so I put olive oil on it. Then added the parchment paper. I'm not sure how it happened, but the bottom of the bread is oily & there was a bunch of water & oil in the bottom of the tin. Let's just say it's edible, but heavy. Next time, I'll cut out some flour & perhaps use butter instead of olive oil?

Seriously, someone needs to invent Culinary Bootcamp for people like me. I could be a Fruigivore like my husband. He'll eat oranges, I'll eat cherries & berries. Lord help us come winter! :o)

In any case, I decided to make myself a routine last night. It works for kids & dogs, so why not me? As I type this entry, I'm about 2 hours behind schedule, but I'll see what I can do to catch up! :o) Part of my schedule includes meal planning for the following day. I liked the look of a lot of the recipes in the Caribbean cookbook, so I'll see what I can find that's yummy! (& healthy!)

I finally hooked up my Magic Jack, after giving my husband grief about not having his set up! :o) I'm pretty excited about it! If you leave me a message, it emails me the message & I can listen to it in my email program! How cool is that? I love Magic Jack! (Did I mention you pay $20/yr for long distance anywhere in Canada & the USA?) And you can take it anywhere in the world & call Canada/USA for that same $20/yr??? What a great invention! **It costs $40 for the Jack, $20/yr or $70 for 5 yrs, plus $10 for a Canadian number** See website for details. Okay, my infomercial is done! :o)

I caught up with a girlfriend from Saskatchewan last night. I haven't spoken to her in awhile & it was great to hear her voice. She has two adorable boys, Buster & Huxley. She has caught a lot of flack for naming her first son, Buster. Agreed, it's not a common name, but it TOTALLY suits him! Last night we Wikipedia'd 'Buster' & there are a lot of famous 'Buster's' out there. Even I was impressed! One from South Africa & one from the UK who was involved in the early developments in IVF! Crazy! I hope her mind is at ease, knowing her son has a unique & meaningful name.

Our conversation was cut short when the lightning returned & every flash I saw made a click on the phone! Okay! Time to go! I fell asleep to the sound of the rain hammering down outside my window.

Have a great Sunday everyone! xxxx

Maria, Valentina & Oceana

Matching jackets for the sisters.

Please, Mama, play with me?

Tangled up!

I've got it!

Tug o' war!