Day 415 - Day 3 of PB1 & Happy Birthday Roxy

Today was the 3rd & final day of the course. I have loved every minute of it. While working & sharing with the group, I've realized a few things about myself. My current situation isn't that bad. Hearing the woes of the others around me, I'm pretty lucky. I've said it before & I'll say it again. I'm the luckiest person I know. Why?

I'm finishing chemo this month. I'm going to be able to travel again. I'll finally be out of my Mother's house. I have the most amazing husband. I'm excited about our future together. I'm taking steps to regain my health & vitality. My 3 year battle with cancer is rapidly coming to a peaceful close. Did I mention I'll be traveling again? Cuba, Florida, Caribbean, Africa, Norway, Africa... 2011 is going to be an incredible year!

I also found the class an incredible way to give. Be it support, love, encouragement... And the coolest part about giving these things? I NEVER run out of it! There is an endless supply of love, laughter, listening, support! And it feels SO GOOD to give! I wish the world would experience something like Personal Best - it would TRANSFORM the globe in ways we could not fathom. It's free, People! Sign up! Do it now! Take charge of the 'ickiness' in your life!

The funny part of the day for me was watching people's reactions. The previous two days I've worn a toque & no make up. Today I wore the 'Britney' wig & makeup. I had a few people come up & introduce themselves to me, as they were certain they'd never met me. One lady approached me after graduation - in fact, after supper - and told me that she couldn't figure out why they would let someone new into the course on the last day! Priceless! I love the element of surprise!

Mom2 & I had a fantastic weekend together & we both remembered & relearned some wonderful tools to carry us forward in the direction of our goals & dreams. I am cautious of a lot of self-help/personal growth tools. I want to share my opinion with you & a short story. When it comes to self-help, I believe:
WE ARE NOT BROKEN. We are fine the way we are. We can still learn & grow & evolve & work towards a better, bigger version of ourselves, but we are NOT broken.

One day, a friend & Lymphoma survivor, Fawna Bews, called me to see how I was doing. She beat stage 4 cancer & is 11 years clean. They told her she wouldn't make it & she's here today! She even had another child, after they told her she couldn't! Anyhow, Fawna called & asked me how my healing was going. I told her about the chemo, which was to start soon. She asked me what else I'd been doing. I told her about Mexico, the research, the juicing, etc. I told her I thought I could probably journal or write more too. She asked me, 'Why?' I replied that a lot of other people had told me that was good to do. She said it might help & it might not. She carried on to say the following:
'The way I see it is, we're all children of God. God's perfect. That makes me perfect.'
Those words have resonated with me since that day. Yeah! I'm not broken! I don't need to write out 200 pages & fill 5 journals on Why I Got Cancer. I don't need to write letters of forgiveness to every single person who has hurt my feelings or cut me off in rush hour. And most of all, I don't need to feel GUILTY about any of the things I should or shouldn't be doing according to myself or anyone else's cancer protocol. Thank you Fawna for your words of wisdom!

Lastly, jumping back to PB. I met Jay's son, Wyatt tonight. I've seen a few photos of him on Facebook, but he is so much more adorable in person. Here's this squishable little 5 year old dressed up like one of the Incredibles. Be still my heart! I had to talk to the youngster. I asked him who he was. He told me Dash. I told him I had a friend named Dash, but explained that Dash was just a baby & couldn't walk or run yet, so I didn't know if he was really fast like Dash from the Incredibles. Wyatt's eye lit up when I said I knew someone named Dash. Oh my, he is too cute for words. He danced away the night at our graduation. What a beautiful little soul!

Here are a few photos from the graduation night. Let me know when you've signed up for your Level 1! *wink, wink*

xxxx Maria, Valentina, Oceana & Adios

Jay & Wyatt dancing up a storm! 

Saxon on the left - AMAZING dancer & Dane & his boy, Roman - too cute! 

Vince is an INCREDIBLE Tattoo Artist - award winning! Need Ink? 

Enjoying food & drinks! 

Lance & Morgan - my PB II buddy! 

 Morgan & Britney Shears

Mom2, Morgan & I 

Dance! 

 Lynn & Jeanette

The Gorjuss Jeaninne!

Story writer Shannon! 

Gorjuss Saxon! 

Dan & his main squeeze! 

Brandy & Lesley - all smiles! 

 Cath - what a sweetie!

Trena & Simon - Mr & Mrs! 

Jordan & Lance

Day 217 - Running Around In The Snow

Okay, so last night I fell asleep to the sound of rain. I love to hear the rain & have a nice cool room while I'm snuggled deep under the covers. I have a window right next to the bed, so I opened it up a little bit & listened to the drops come splashing down. 


I woke up to the sound of rain & admired at how green everything looked. I love the miracle of Spring & how quickly things transform. Sadly, my admiration turned to disbelief as I looked out the window a few hours later & saw the rain transforming to SNOW! Ugh! Seriously? Yup.


It snowed all afternoon & through the night. Blah. So not excited about that! Mom & I went to town for the late afternoon & luckily it was only raining in the city. I managed to tick all the things off my list (on my handy iPod!). I picked up my engagement ring, as the stone was loose & luckily it was just a prong & not a chipped stone! Gasp! They polished it up & it looks brand spankin' new! Feels like I'm newly engaged again!! :o) 


I stopped at the bank & the teller was so sweet! We visited about wigs & weaves & she's going to include me in her prayers. How thoughtful! I told her I'm going to come back & show off some of my wigs... :o) I haven't been banking at the TD very long, but they are so friendly! I have yet to have a negative experience there! And they're open late & on Saturdays!!! Is there any question I've found a good bank? Especially after the CIBC omitted a digit on my cheque! Ha ha... That will keep my chuckling for a long time!


Next stop - Chinook. (For those of you reading from overseas, it's actually pronounced 'Shin-ook' (ook as in hook)) (It's a warm dry wind that blows down the east side of the Rocky Mountains during winter months.) If you're lucky, it melts MOST of the snow & then refreezes as slippery ice & then it snows again, leaving parking lots & streets a disaster to navigate! One of Calgary's bigger malls is called Chinook Centre. I popped into SportChek to see what kind of stuff they had for the World Cup. It's in South Africa this year & I thought I could find Jaco something with the South African flag on it. All they had was a t-shirt in a hideous shade of yellow. Never mind. Their flag is really pretty...

I was returning a luggage weigh scale that I used once in Mexico & then it broke. The lady wouldn't give me a refund & offered me a credit. I told her I had great luggage & enough handbags & wallets to last a lifetime. (Don't tell Jaco the handbag thing - a gal can NEVER have too many!) :o)  Mom had went to a restaurant to order some supper to go. I left the shop without my refund or credit & also forgot my keys there! I found Mom sitting at Starbucks. The restaurant was closed for renovations! Doh! I realized the keys were missing about now. We walked all the way to the other end of the mall & sure enough, there they were. As we left the shop, Mom pointed out the kiosk outside. They sold wigs. I told Mom, 'Nah, they're not my style & they are fake & they are expensive.' She said, 'No, come here. Look.' She pointed to the name of the kiosk - Oceana. Hah! Imagine that! We made our way back to the car & left the city.


We headed towards Longview. Tonight was Fawna's evening with some spiritual speakers from Australia. Of course we arrived late. I wasn't sure where exactly it was & I phoned Fawna's house to see if her husband was home & could tell us where to go. Her daughter answered the phone & I nearly bust a gut from laughing. Here's a recap of the conversation:
'Hello?'
'Hi, Fawna?'
'No, she's not here.'
'Oh, is your Dad there?'
'No, he's with my Mom.'
'Oh. We're supposed to be going to the event your Mom has arranged this evening, but I'm not sure of the location. Do you know where it is?'
Okay, this is the one that got me. In a totally posh British accent, she says:
'I'm not sure of the specific location of the exact event you are referring to.'
Are you kidding me?? I'm sure she's only about 8 or 10 years old!!! Too funny!


Anyhow, we found the place & of course, we were only 40 minutes late. The couple that were speaking were most talking about the Course In Miracles & how it had changed their life. The wife had just wrote a book & the husband did most of the talking. He was quite entertaining! We finished up about 2230 (!) & then headed home.


Before we left, we let the dogs out for a wee. While they were sniffing around, I hear this REALLY LOUD 'CRACK'! behind me. I turn around to see that someone has just SMASHED into my car!!! Oh no!!!! Poor Contemplate!!! I go over to inspect the damage & sure enough there is a big dent in the back bumper & there were bits of shattered plastic lying on top of the bumper from the license plate area. The trunk was also open. I tried to close it. Nope. Again. Nope. Again. Repeat 60 times. Nope. Oh dear. I know it gives me hassle from time to time, but NEVER this much!!! Finally it closes. The lady gives me her address & phone number & I am to call her with the cost of repairing the damages.


We drive home. It's a freaking blizzard. The slush is lying on the road & splashes up over the car, pulling it all over the road & making visibility zero. Add in the falling snow & the visibility is less than zero. (Negative visibility?) We drove about 60km/h the whole way home. I chatted with Jaco for a large chunk of it.


I just don't think he gets it. I tell him it's snowing (on the 27th of May) & he says, 'Oh, cool. That must be beautiful. You must enjoy it!' Are you kidding me? Does he have any idea how stressful driving in this 'stuff' is?!? Pretty? It's dark out & you can't see a bloody thing!!! And this is why I don't want to live in Canada!!!! I'll take an Australian dust storm any day!!!! And the debate goes on...


We arrived home about midnight, with a fair bit of organizing to do before the 0530 wake up call for tomorrow... Wish me luck, it's going to be a short sleep! xxxxx


Maria & Valentina

Oh so pretty.

Blah.

Not cool for the end of May!

Day 212 - Mehh.

Today was a strange day of sorts. I slept until 0930 or so when Oceana's yips woke me up. I had been tossing & turning & trying to squeeze in a few more zzz's. I was having a beautiful dream. Mmmm. Michael Buble. He wanted me to be a back up singer (Lord help his career!). It was completely life like & I even managed to wake up & fall back asleep & keep dreaming. He had a crush on me & introduced me to his parents & grandparents... What a fun dream! Of course, I googled him when I woke up & to my dismay, he's engaged. Oh well, I'm married anyhow... :o) He's coming to Calgary in August & I have every intention of taking Jaco. Yay! I saw him about 2.5 yrs ago with Mom & Mom2. We had the worst seats in the house & we still had a blast! If Mom2 had moved over one more seat, the spotlight would have hit her in the head! Good times! 


Anyhow, moving on with the day... Well, honestly, it really didn't progress into much. I spoke with a friend who has been through chemo & Hodgkin's & she did a lot of emotional/spiritual work along with her treatment. She's got an interesting take on things, so I'm planning on meeting some of her friends/mentors next week. She brought up a very interesting point. I have held the thought that I need to do some emotional 'work'. You know, get rid of all the yucky stuff I'm holding onto that might be keeping me in a less than healthy or negative place. She suggested that there isn't any work to do & that we are already perfect exactly as we are. I thought that was pretty clever! Yeah, why not? Why should I have to punish myself & make myself feel bad about having to do a bunch of work?! Why not just start each day as a fresh new day with none of the baggage from yesterday or yesteryear? I am going to adopt that mentality. It makes sense! Thank you Fawna! (http://www.fawnabews.com) 


I finished my chat with her & decided to stop in & see Joe at EVIC before I took the recycling away. As this is the long weekend, the centre & campgrounds are quite busy. The weather hasn't been too cooperative, as usual, so a lot of fair weather campers were heading back to the city. Apparently there is a fair bit of snow falling at Little Elbow, which is a stunning campground about 25 kms from EVIC.


When I returned from recycling I took the dogs for a walk to the highway & back. Then we played fetch in the yard. Oh man, Oceana was right wound up! She was ripping all over the place. With her antics & the squeaky toy, the poor horses had no clue what was going on. They were giving us some pretty strange looks!


We came inside & I started cleaning. Again. Man, this job never ends! I hung up some bathroom curtains, bedroom curtains & finally washed the new sheets from Ikea to put on the bed. Enthralling, I know! I sorted through a few papers on the desk & got the bankruptcy papers ready to burn for the Head Shaving par-tay... June 17th if you're around!


I booked my flight to Victoria to see Jaco & I am so excited to see him!!!! I'll spend a night with Ross & Krystle, a night with Karen & Werner & then visit Jaco for 4 days. Then it will be August before I see him again! Pooh! I spoke with one of the Fertility Nurses today & she said I could go, as long as I would be back in time for the ultrasound & blood work. Off I go!


So, as Michael Buble serenades me to sleep, I hope there's no snow on the ground tomorrow... Sweet dreams.


Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Looking out the kitchen window - the bull on the left was playing with the Christmas tree moments before!

I actually quite like this picture... Too bad it's on the point & shoot!

Adios intrigued by something!

Tweet Pea squeakin' away!

Sisters forever!

Well, at least until she steals my toy!