Day 244 - All My Eggs In One Basket

I should have taken the diazepam. I thought I wouldn't need it, seeing as my appointment was for 1230. Lo & behold, Valentina wakes me up at 0645. Then I hear a mosquito in the room that I couldn't find & took me two attempts to kill. Then Mom lets Valentina back into my room at 0715. Next comes the barking. So much for a good night's rest before the procedure!

Today was the egg retrieval at the Fertility Clinic. No more needles! Hooray! I tossed & turned in bed as long as I could. I was unable to eat anything & could only drink clear liquids, of which we had none, so I wanted to sleep as long as possible. 

I called Mom once I was up to see where she was at. She was driving the car (slowly) to Cochrane this morning to get the tires replaced. She was leaving for Saskatchewan the day after, so I couldn't be stranded without a car. She was kind enough to let me sleep, take the car, get it fixed & be back by 1130 when we had to leave for the city.  When she answered the phone I never expected her to say...

1. She drove 40 km/h & made it to the traffic circle

2. The cops pulled her over & made her call a tow truck. Apparently it was too dangerous for her to slow down traffic & the risk of blowing the tire & careening into oncoming traffic was high.

3. She tried to change the tire by herself.

4. Bikers stopped to help her get the nuts loose & she did the rest.

5. She only arrived in Cochrane at 1015 & some young punk was taking his sweet time.

It was not looking promising for her arrival back home at 1130 in time to leave for town! To my amazement she drove in the yard at 1125 & we left 10 minutes later! 

She dropped me off at the clinic & they told her to come back at 1545. They gave me some apple juice, as I was looking a little pale & the pharmacy downstairs was out. I headed into the back room & got changed into the fabulous fashion of the Medical World. We filled out the remainder of the consent forms & the nurse hooked me up to an IV. Unfortunately the IV gave her a few hassles & there goes my blood, running down my arm & spilling all over my new gown! Thank goodness it wasn't silk! :oP I've never seen such a big bag of saline! Wow! It must have been 1.5 or 2 L! It was massive! We waited for the Doctor to get ready. I didn't mind. The nurses were all very friendly & fun to visit with. Andrea, Jana & Natalie kept me entertained. 

While I was waiting, they wheeled a girl on a stretcher past me. She didn't look so hot. Then, when I used the loo after a previous patient, the bathroom garbage was decorated in 'red'. Wow. What on Earth were they going to do to me?!?! I was a little nervous to say the least, but they know what they are doing! Right?!

Finally it was my turn. In we go to the little room. Dr. O'Keane was the Doctor doing my procedure. He was the same Doctor that did the presentation at the hospital a few weeks back. I liked him then & I was happy he was my Physician today. He is from Ireland & has a great sense of humour.

I climb onto the bed & the nurse tells me to put my legs in the cradles. Er, feeling a little exposed here! Oh well, no dignity left anyhow! I look around the room. There are pretty little gold stars painted around the roof, a screen to watch, and a poster of 2 little kids sneaking a peck on the lips. Pretty soon Dr. O'Keane administers Midazolam & Fentanyl. Oh boy... It hit me like a ton of bricks! Everything went woozy & that poster on the ceiling just kept moving. It was like I was headed down in an elevator & it just kept on clippin' by. No matter how hard I tried to get off on the 10th floor, it wasn't happening! I pretty much babbled through the whole ordeal. Lord only knows what I actually said. I know we spoke about my blog, RateMDs.com, my GP, my husband and my upcoming treatment. When Dr. O'Keane heard about my blog, he asked the Embryologist, Kim, in the adjacent room to print me a photo of my eggs for the blog. 

The screen I could see was actually connected to the microscope the Embryologist was using to collect the eggs. Dr. O'Keane hazily showed me a little vial filled with the fluid that contained some of the eggs. Next thing I knew, there was the little pipette playing with my eggs. Crazy! The procedure wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. There was certainly some discomfort. When it got a little worse than normal, they gave me another ride on the elevator. :o) Soon enough, we were done. The Embryologist lined up all my eggs in a row & I took a happy snap on my point & shoot. Done! 

I shifted back onto a stretcher & they wheeled me back out into the recovery area. I babbled some more to Dr. O'Keane about Dr. Canellos & my current book on stem cell differentiation & how the Mother's uterus communicates with the embryo before it's become a fetus. I'm sure I was slurring my words & my eyes were crossed, but he just smiled & nodded. Bless his heart. 

I slept for a bit & took in the happenings around me. The Embryologist came by to tell me that we would be freezing everything after the eggs had been fertilized. They would be considered embryos, but they would not have cleaved yet. (No cell division) Apparently this is the best option when freezing embryos. Later on, when they are thawed, they will culture them to X number of cells before implantation. Additionally, she told me that this procedure wasn't even available 1.5 years ago, so lucky for us it's happening now! 

A while later, one of the nurses brought by a little 4x6 photo of all my eggs. There were 11 in total, although she explained that most likely only 8 or 9 of them would make embryos. Some were immature & one was deformed. That was probably the coolest photo I've ever been given! And, just to toot my own horn, they don't normally give a photo to anyone... Dr. O'Keane specifically asked the Embryologist for it... Yes, I do feel special! *Big Grin*

I ate a few Arrowroot biscuits (they taste delicious when you're starving!) and drank 2 apple juice boxes. It was time to use the loo. Success, no 'red' garbage from me! Don't know what happened to the other chick - gosh! I returned to the bed & sat down. I thought I was doing fine. Natalie, the Nurse, said she'd go check & see if Mom was there to collect me. As soon as she left... Uh oh... No elevator ride, but I got shaky & felt quite weak. Andrea looked at me & said I was looking a little green & I better lie down. Apparently I had a 'Vaso Vagal response'. After I stood up & used the loo, it freed up space & that shift dilated blood vessels leaving me feeling like I was going to pass out. Fun! Mom still wasn't there, so lucky for me, I laid back down & rested a little longer. 

Mom showed up a while later & I was strong enough to get dressed & get out of there. It seems so strange to think that now I won't be back to the clinic for a year or more until we're ready to have children!

We left for Jugo Juice & pizza. Jugo Juice botched the smoothie order & Boston Pizza used the wrong crust, so it was the longest wait for food of my life. I was starving & feeling rubbish. All I wanted was some food in my belly & to lie down & sleep. After an eternity, the food was finally ready. I wolfed it down & did my best to brace through the bumps on the ride home. As soon as we were in the door, I laid down to sleep. I woke up once at 1915 & then again at 2115. 

Jaco called & we had a good visit. He had phoned earlier, but unfortunately I wasn't in the frame of mind to give much conversation. Between hormones, starvation & pain, I wasn't the happiest girl on the block! Poor fella! Luckily the later call found me in much better spirits! Mom interrupted the call part way through to draw my attention to a young moose that strolled right past her as she was working in the yard! He was really close!

I'm off to bed now. Tomorrow is the balance of my teeth cleaning. At 0800. I hope I don't start snoring with my mouth wide open! :o)

Have a great sleep & see you soon!

xxxxx

Maria & Valentina

Mustangs & cattle

First sign of success!

Watchin' TV

More eggs

Getting the next generation ready!

Before the vaso vagal!

Aren't they pur-dy?

Food!

Can you see the moose bum?

Bullwinkle visits

Day 242 - Ultrasound. Again. And Again.

Rise & shine & lets have another look at your innards. Yup, another ultrasound today. Dr. Scott was the Physician doing the ultrasounds & to my amazement, some of the follicles were now TOO BIG! Oh no! I was a bit panicked when she said I should have had the retrieval done right away when it wasn't booked until Wednesday. Some of the follicles went from 1.6 to 2.2 in 24 hours! Great guns they're growing fast! Amazingly enough, the right ovary smartened up & grew a few more follicles. Incredible what a little shot of somethin' somethin' can make your body do some incredible things! I had a whopping 16 (SIXTEEN!) follicles today! Holy smokes! I was to have the final shots today & tonight & then a day off. After that, it was retrieval day!


I was given instructions on how to inject the 10,000 iu of HCG & away I went. I was meeting Al & Wilma for a visit. I was so excited to see them & hear all about their amazing journey from Africa to England. They had flown to Capetown & sailed up the western coast of Africa. Bottom to top! They were also stopping in Namibia where Jaco & I married/honeymooned. They are two of the most wonderful people I've met in my travels & how perfect they live in Calgary! We visited at the house for a bit & then Al had to run some errands, so Wilma & I headed over to the Calgary Winter Club for lunch. 


I had never been there before & it was quite impressive! It is a HUGE athletic facility, offering tennis, squash, curling, skating, badminton, swimming, along with a full service gym, personal trainers & physiotherapy! In fact, Christine, one of the girls from the Thursday night prayer group, works here. I couldn't remember where, but I knew she was a Personal Trainer somewhere in the city. Sure enough, when I walked into the gym & looked at their bios on the wall, there she was! Unfortunately she wasn't in at the moment, but neat nonetheless!


The restaurant had a delicious menu with many healthy options (yay!) & Wilma & I talked & talked about the trip & the people they met, the sights they saw & all the unique & far flung destinations the ship stopped at. 


I had to return to the Fertility Clinic before 1600, so we left the Winter Club & headed back to their house. I grabbed my med out of the fridge & said goodbye to Wilma. I'm looking forward to the next visit... I can't wait to see the photos from the trip! 


I picked up my last dose of Cetrotide & made my way home. I was happy to turn the car off & not have to drive it tomorrow. Finally! A day off! I've been in the city WAY TOO MUCH these past two weeks & it's starting wear on me! I putted around the house this evening, trying to tidy a few things up - and of course, looked forward to another sleep in tomorrow! My body seems to need some extra zzz's these days...


Sweet dream & see you tomorrow, but none too early!!! :o)
Maria & Valentina
xxxxx

The growing girls!

Day 236 - Ultrasound #2

Yawn. I'm such a Garfield. I wasn't meant for early mornings. A late night & an early morning appointment left me sleeping paranoid that I was going to miss my alarm & then the ultrasound. I woke up at 0430 thinking I'd overslept. I was surprisingly alert, but quickly came to my senses & went back to bed. When the alarm did finally go off at 0600, I certainly wasn't ready for it! I hit snooze until 0640 (yes, I did) & then rolled out of bed, rushing around. 


I left for the city just as the rain began to fall. It poured & spit & quit & then repeated itself on the way in. I managed to find a 2 hour free parking spot near the clinic. Oh the small things in life! I met with the Psychologist first. I'm thinking I shocked her out of her morning routine, as I was the first patient she saw. I think most of her patients are couples with emotional issues about infertility. Husband blames wife, wife blames husband, baggage from the past, etc, etc. In I waltz. Cancer. Husband from another country. No job. Living with Mom. Chemo on the horizon. And who said I didn't like to stir the pot??!! :o) We had a wonderful visit & she was very friendly & comforting. We talked a lot about Italy. Glad I'm not alone in my love of Italia!


Next up was a bit of blood work. I've been taking baby Aspirin to help thin my blood & it's definitely working. My arm looks like it never has before from the needle. Nice purple spot. (My injection sites are also looking a little 'funkier' than usual) 


I sat in the waiting room for awhile again & after it had been about a 1/2 hour, I thought I better check again. The receptionist said she'd check & see what was going on & I hadn't even sunk my butt into the chair when they called my name! Impressive! Apparently the ultrasound machine was giving them some hassles today.


I'm pleased to report that I have 9 follicles. Always dreaming of being an Overachiever, I was hoping for 12, but 9 is fine. I have no idea if they look good or not, but I guess we won't really know for a few more days. I am to return in 2 days time & take an additional shot in the evenings for the next 2 nights. 


The nurse came in to talk to me about my new prescription & it turns out her daughter just joined the Island Princess as a Dancer! How fun! I did my best to reassure Mom that her daughter would be fine & in good hands... She'll have the time of her life! It brings me great joy when I hear of young people venturing abroad at a young age to experience more of life than just university & marriage & mortgage & kids... I believe that travel is the best education money can buy. Don't get me wrong, I think it's fantastic to earn a degree & become educated in a field you love. But what if that field you love is in the south of France & full of lavender? :o) 


I picked up a Jugo Juice & a zebra print shower curtain & headed for home. I was planning on heading straight to bed, well, after a quick detour to see if the wigs were here. They weren't. But, I did get a lovely letter from a collection agency. Are you kidding me? I declared bankruptcy! I've been discharged! The cheeky sods at the Royal Bank have only NOW sent my 'account' to a collection agency. I didn't hear a peep from them while I was in bankruptcy... a friend reckons they are trying to double dip & get more from me! Good luck! I called the collection agency & the guy was pretty aggressive. When I told him to contact Meyers Norris Penny, he said it wasn't up to him to contact them & I 'better get used to a lot of phone calls'! Ha! I'll email MNP tomorrow... 


I was headed for bed & the phone rang twice. I just got nestled under the covers & it rang again. 10 minutes of sleep. Another ring. Argh! Okay, fine! I'll get up & deal with a few things. 


I never did make it back to bed before midnight. I worked on my Oncology notes & questions for Thursday's appointment, filled out a 9 page questionnaire for my Naturopath appointment tomorrow, completed my 3rd shot of the day and played with the dogs for a bit. I was supposed to edit Mom's day planner, but her computer was on vacation. 


My evening shot was a bit of a drama. I pulled out the supplies & the directions. As I'm reading, it says to administer the injection in your stomach. Nothing about the thighs. I'm not a belly shot kinda girl (just ask my photog friends for THAT story!), so I was pretty worried. I called the Health Link number & the gal on the other end couldn't really say. I called the Medicine/Herbal/Poison Control Centre. After being on hold for 10 minutes, I hung up. I was supposed to do the shot at 2000, it's now 2015. I call the IVF number & of course, they are closed. But their message says to call Foothills switchboard & have the Fertility Doctor paged, if it's an emergency. Well, I'm not really an emergency, but is there a nurse available? Nope. Next thing I know, Dr. Wong calls me back! He said I was fine to do the shot in my legs, as long as I get it in somehow! Phew! Good stuff! I apologize for troubling him & head to the loo to do the shot. If these shots were tequila, I'd be plastered by the end of the day!!! :o)


I'm not sure what I did this time, but again, I got a nice big lump at my injection site. I'm just not meant to give myself needles... Anyhow, it's done & dusted & only a few more days of these needles. Then it's back to the big one! Yikes!


I'm off to bed... Have a peaceful sleep...
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

My dog who hates to have her photo taken.

Playing shy

Tolerating a kiss or two...

Day 225 - Blessings Abound!

It feels so bizarre to be home again. I miss Jaco. A lot. We had such a great time, even though it was brief & he was busy, we made the most of every minute. I think if I could offer advice to anyone out there... Enjoy every moment of your life. At 31, I never dreamt I would be struggling to regain my health & enjoy the rest of my life. Carpe diem!

Today I had to go to the Fertility Clinic (RFP) to pick up my drugs, as they are closed on the weekend. I wasn't sure what day I would have to start the drugs, so I wanted to be ready. I wasn't sure how much the drugs were going to cost, either. When I initially started the procedure with them, I was told the IVF procedure would be $6700, plus approximately $2500-3000 for the drugs. Ouch! I inquired about some financial assistance, but they said I didn't have time to apply. (And who said time=money?) They told me they would apply for compassionate care & see if some of the drugs could be covered. A few weeks back, I received a call saying the Luveris had been covered, but they didn't know about the Gonal F pens yet. I knew I would be paying $30 for the antibiotics & supplies. Today I would find out what the bill was. 

It was $30. OH MY GOODNESS! What a blessing!!! How incredibly lucky do I feel! Wow! That helped Jaco & I in so many ways! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The pharmacist, who is from Polska, showed me the proper way to do the injections. Not injection, plural, as in injections! Yes, I will now have to do 2 shots per day instead of 1. Oh lucky, lucky me. BUT... at least these are miniature shots... The total is about 2ml. The needles are barely visible compared to my other shots! This will be a breeze! They are only subcutaneous, so I don't have to worry about making it down to the muscle. Oh sweet relief! 

They gave me a cute little bag to keep everything in & best of all, my very own sharps container! Now I have a proper disposal! :o)

I also saw my Doctor when I was walking out, so I asked her a few questions. When I had arrived home, I had a letter from the Oncologist regarding my CT scan. They wanted to scan my head, neck, chest, abdomen & pelvis. That is a load of radiation. Especially on my ovaries, which I'd like to keep in top form for the egg retrieval. I don't want babies that look like Hiroshima victims. I asked Dr. Foong & she suggested it would be best to wait to have the scan. She also told me she would be away when I had my procedure done, but she would call me when she was back & I could come in & talk about the embryos they made. She is such a wonderful doctor. 

My next stop was the pet shop. Valentina has been barking to a ridiculous level as of late. I have tried shushing her up, pokes in the ribs, bops on the bum & nothing is working. I bought an anti-bark collar that sprays a puff of citronella every time she barks. Here's hoping!

Here's a link to the study I found on CT scans. It's an interesting read! I actually called the diagnostics division at the hospital to find out exactly how much radiation I would be receiving. I was a little insulted when the chap on the other end asked me if I was a Radiologist & that I wouldn't understand anything unless I was. It's called Wikipedia & Google. Hu-llo! Anyhow, he did have the decency to tell me that if it was his wife in my situation, he would postpone the scan. I felt good about that!

I tried to phone the Oncologist & his nurses/receptionists, but they were either rude or unhelpful. Oh this is so much fun!!! :o) I have the scan on Tuesday & as it's now the weekend, it's not looking promising. I also tried to book an appointment with the Oncologist for 10 June to have some more questions answered, but it sounds like he's booked full. I have this sinking feeling that things will be postponed. There is NO WAY he's going to be ready for me on Friday a.m. when I refuse a drug on Thursday afternoon. Nor am I going to be ready when I want time to research the drugs & dosages before I start. 

Doxorubicin damages the heart & there is a lifetime dose. Damage starts much sooner than the lifetime dosage, so I want to make sure I'm within the NO DAMAGE zone.

Additionally, I've had enough time to contemplate this scan business. I get that they have a set protocol to follow. I get that they want a baseline scan so they can know how much progress I've made. However, I also get that CT scans cause cancer & if I have one now, adding in the scan from February, another one in 3-4 months to check on my progress & than again when I'm done in 6 months... That's approximately 2000 chest x-rays in 11 months. Not cool. When you also consider the fact that if the scan in 3-4 months doesn't show improvement when compared to the February scan, we can all agree that the treatment isn't working. I was told the lumps would be gone after the 2nd round. Call me crazy, but it doesn't make sense. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jeopardize my future health just to satisfy someone's protocol - my future doesn't fit into that box they're wanting to tick. I'll step off my soapbox now...

Enjoy your weekend & where is that sunshine I'm dreaming of?? 

xxxx

Maria & Valentina

Thank you for the sharps disposal!

No Hiroshima babies please.

Getting used to the weight around her neck - it weighs nearly as much as she does!

Day 204 - ANOTHER Long Day In The City

This morning was my big appointment at the Fertility Clinic. I was VERY impressed. Granted we're (Jaco) is paying them $$$$, so they should be awesome, but they certainly were! Dr. Foong is phenomenal. She's so personable & caring. She answered all of my questions & applied for Compassionate Care for our medications, so hopefully we'll have some of them covered. I also met with one of the Nurses, who answered all of my additional questions & listened to me ramble on & on... I don't ramble, do I? Nah, didn't think so! :o) I visited the Sperm Lab & then had some more blood work done. Yeesh. 


Here's the skinny. I am actually so fascinated by all of this... Basically we have to wait until my next cycle. On day 1, I call the Period Hotline. Yeah, I know. Forget Crimestoppers, this is WAY more exciting! On day 2, I have a baseline ultrasound & more blood work. Day 3, I start my meds. A week or so later the Egg Retrieval is done & then the embryos are made. 3-5 days later, we've got Mini-Wee's chillin' on ice! I think the affectionate term is 'Totsicles'. :o)


So what exactly do they do? Well, every month, lassie makes one egg follicle. That follicle breaks open & releases the egg to be fertilized by the lucky swimmer to cross the finish line first. When I take the meds (Luveris & Gonal-F), they are Follicle Stimulating Hormones (FSH) & they do just that. Instead of making one follicle, I'll make somewhere between 8 & 20. The Clinic will do several ultrasounds & more bloods to monitor the progress of the follicles & when they are mature, the Egg Retrieval is done. They use a hollow needle to extract the follicles via ultrasound, which I will get to watch on TV as they do it! 


The eggs will then be fertilized via ICSI. Basically instead of thawing the straws of sperm & letting them do their thing, the lab will manually fertilize each egg. The embryos will then be incubated for 3-5 days. On day 3 there will be 8 cells. If they are healthy looking embryos, they will be incubated for another 2 days to create what's called a blastocyst, which is anywhere from 80-200 cells. A blastocyst has a much better chance at successful implantation, however, you need a hot lookin' 3 day embryo to get a good blastocyst. If the 3 day embryo isn't REALLY good, there's not point to incubate it past that. It's best to freeze it & let it do it's thing once it's implanted. 


And once the embryos have been incubated sufficiently, they will be frozen at -196 until they are needed! And yes, when I'm 40 I will still have the embryos of a 31 year old! If only they could do that with my wrinkles! :o) So there's your Egg Retrieval lesson in a nutshell! 


Essentially I'll be ready for chemo the day after the Egg Retrieval. After anaesthesia you are legally intoxicated for 24 hours, so I guess I'll wait until the anaesthesia hangover is gone! :o)


Pray that all goes well with the procedure & there are no complications.


After I left the clinic I headed towards Costco. The phones we picked up lacked headsets jacks & belt clips. Yes, we use our phones that much. They didn't have much, but I picked up a different set. We'll see if they are any good! 


Next stop was Ikea. I was supposed to meet Dave & Collet there around 1230 - 1430. It was now 1400. I called & Collet didn't answer her phone. As I don't have a cell phone, I said I would call back in 20 minutes. When I called back, she answered & they were just pulling up. They had a busy day planned with plenty of stops, but when I saw her, they hadn't been anywhere yet! Oh boy! 


They were on the lookout for a wardrobe. What a process! It took 5 hours! I was wiped by the time we left! I needed a nap, but still had to get groceries & drive home! I have realized that I am just going to have to say I am tired & I have to go. I'm in need of a lot of rest & relaxation these days, and I'm not used to saying 'no' to anyone. 


I had a great time with them & Ezra has grown so much again! He's talking a lot & potty trained! What a good boy! I got a chuckle out of him, as we walked through the showroom, he had the urge to lick every mirror he came across... Too funny! Collet's got a cute little belly coming along & I'll be very excited to meet the newest Stephan! 


I made my way through Superstore like a zombie & then headed home. I went straight to bed! These 10+ hr days in the city are killing me! Perhaps literally!!! Here's to a good lie in tomorrow!


Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Waiting in the lab

Waiting in the lab again!

Ezra - lickin', er, lookin' good!

3.5 Stephans in Ikea

Ezra enjoys the stickers from Aunty Jill

Ezra's sled dog training with a monkey on his back!

Day 203 - Long Day in the City.

I suppose 13 is an unlucky number for a number of reasons. I've been fairly stressed these past few weeks. Can anyone understand why? I hope so! I had my first appointment at 1000 & my last appointment ending at 2200. Yes, that's 12 hours in the city & most of it spent in appointments. 


Mom decided she wanted to come along to see the Oncologist as well, so she drove. After 12 hours of her driving, well, let's just say that she has an awful lot of Angels watching over her. I have never seen anyone fail to signal, roll through stop signs without checking traffic, take so long to decide just which lane they are going to drive in or merge while doing 40 km/h. Oh my. I hate driving & I know I shouldn't complain, but I'm just sayin'.


Anyhow my Backseat Driving Vent is now complete. The first appointment was my lung function test. It was in the Foothills Hospital at the Pulmonary Lab. I had never been there before, so I asked for directions at Information. 'Oh yes, just take the elevator down one floor & head in the opposite direction.' And she points towards the Special Services building. Away I go. I walk. I walk some more. I keep walking. Still walking. Pretty soon I'm at the Nuclear Medicine desk where I was 2 days ago, which is on the border of Special Services & Tom Baker, so I know I'm totally lost. 


I ask the girls at the desk where EG3 (Pulmonary Lab) & they send me back the way I came in the opposite direction, PAST the elevators & my first left. Okay, it was my Hospital Marathon for the day. I think Information needs to talk a hike on their lunch break & learn the hospital instead of surfing on Facebook!


Eventually I find the lab. It didn't take them long to get started & the Tech was really nice. I sat in this shwanky glass cubicle & was given a new mouthpiece & a set of nose plugs. I did a lot of blowing. It was pretty interesting, but quite challenging. I don't have the length of breath that most people have. My lungs are healthy, but I'm shallow. (We knew that already!) :o) I couldn't complete the test time. (Yes, I'm freaking out a little) (I'll explain why in a little bit) The Tech assures me my lungs are fine & away I go.


Mom & I have blood work done next. The Tech there was also nice, but OH MY GOODNESS!! She slaughtered my arm! She saw my vein from the MUGA scan & said, 'Oh, you have a bruise. I better use the other arm.' I told her I had a hardened vein, so just be cautious of it. I think she used that exact vein. Either that or she completely shattered it! I was nearly in tears from the agony! OH MY STARS!!!! I could hardly bend my arm or lift anything for the rest of the day! What will tomorrow be like? To make matters worse she had to take several vials & the thin vials didn't want to fill - probably from the horrible job she did on finding a good vein! Because it didn't want to fill, she had to keep changing vials, popping them on & off, thus jarring the needle in my arm again & again. Ugh! Brutal! Where's Emily & Mika when I need them? The Nurse's from Castillo's clinic are far more skilled!!!! And much more fun to be around! :o)


Okay, next stop was Market Mall for a few things, then Costco, Ikea, Superstore & then back to the TBC. I had my appointment with the Oncologist at 1600. I was expecting him to try & talk me out of IVF & into starting chemo right away. Which was precisely what he tried to do. He told me I had a 94% chance of fertility after chemo. Wow! Impressive number! But when I asked for websites or papers, he didn't offer anything. When I asked about my heart & lung function tests, things took a shaky turn. I asked when we would do the next set of tests to see where I was at, he said we wouldn't be scheduling anything. He said I would let him know. Excuse me? How would I know? 'Oh, you'll know. You'll let me know,' he said, over & over. Great. So when I've got symptoms & it's too late to stop the damage before it starts, then you'll do a test, just to make sure? No, no, no, no, NO! Not acceptable for me!


He looked at my neck & claimed it had doubled in size since he saw me in March. I wasn't arguing with him, as it was quite 'cranky' right now & was definitely bigger. I think double might be exaggerating a bit, but... He said he also wanted to a month of radiation when I finished the chemo. After I picked up my jaw off the floor, I said I didn't like the sound of that. He said they radiate all tumors larger than 10 cm. I don't have tumors larger than 10cm. Okay, so collectively they are 10+cm, but that shouldn't count! According to him it does! 


He also tells me that he wants to do another CT scan. Ugh. Can't I do a PET? No, that's a PET-CT scan combined, so more radiation! Great. No wonder the cancer isn't going away... That will be 2100 chest x-rays in 8 months. February was the last one - which, btw, didn't show much, if any, growth, now this one & then again in 3-4 months. Then a month of radiation when I'm done?! No wonder it comes back!!! Grrr! I need a Lead paint job before I go back! :o)


I told him I would be ready to start treatment as soon as the egg retrieval is finished & he asked for it in writing. :o) At least he's getting a sense of humour along this long drawn out journey!


Btw, I've lost 10 lbs in the past 6 weeks. I'm not looking for it, so if you find it, DON'T BRING IT BACK TO ME! 


Mom & I went to CNF & then Jugo Juice for a wrap & smoothie. Jaco called & I chatted with him briefly about the appointment. Then it was time to go back to the hospital for the IVF Information Session. Mom dropped me off & headed to Neil's for prayers. 


Luckily, on my Hospital Marathon earlier today, I passed the auditorium twice, so I knew exactly where I was going! I was stunned! The room was packed! There must have been 50-60 people there! I had no clue infertility was such a huge issue! It was crazy! Dr. O'Keane, an Irish Doctor with a great sense of humour, gave the first portion of the talk. Then we heard from the Pharmacist, a Psychiatrist & a Nurse. It was fascinating! I was mesmerized by the obstacles that science has overcome - incredible! What an amazing job! The chance to give loving couples the chance to have a child of their own & the amazing ways that people have actually created to do just that! I had no clue what I was getting into when I agreed to do IVF! 


Check out their website: http://www.regionalfertilityprogram.ca & be sure to check out Dr. Foong. That's our Doctor. If you know someone who needs help, it's a great place to go! I did have the urge to stand up at the session & yell, 'I sell healthy maxipads - come see me later!', but I didn't. :o)


The session finished earlier than planned, so I called Mom & she had just left. I waited about 20 minutes for her to arrive, and while I waited, I played the Flag Game on my iPod. You gotta try it! I'm obsessed! I am learning the flags of the world. It's addicting & it's a free app... Pretty soon Mom arrived & we were on our way home. Finally! What a long day!


Before I bid you goodnight... A little more information on Bleomycin in my own understanding, which may not be scientifically correct. Correct me if I'm wrong. Bleomycin causes oxygen toxicity in 10% of patients & Pulmonary Fibrosis in 1% of patients. Basically is causes scar tissue in your lungs & if you are administered oxygen, say in surgery or while scuba diving, the scar tissue doesn't stretch like regular lung tissue. You can dive down like you normally would, but upon ascent, the lung would rupture & you would die. There is no cure for Pulmonary Fibrosis & if you get it, you're toast in about 5 years. Before you get Pulmonary Fibrosis, you'll get Pneumonitis. Guess what they treat Pneumonitis with? Yup, Prednisone. Everything about this drug just tells me to run away. Fast! 


When I got home, I googled Bleomycin & managed to find a study questioning the validity of Bleomycin in the ABVD protocol. You can read it here & tell me your opinion. 
ABVD & Bleomycin Study
Basically the people who were taking ABVD & had complications with Bleomycin stopped it. They continued with the AVD. At the end of the study, the people who took all 4 drugs for 12 rounds had a 91% success rate. The people who stopped Bleomycin part of the way through had a 90% success rate. 1% is about as identical as you can get. Lance Armstrong also opted out of Bleomycin. He did take Ifosphamide instead which causes a lot more nausea & vomiting, bladder issues & potentially Leukemia down the line, so no, I'm not taking that either. 


I'll keep researching & get a second opinion if time allows. Wish me luck on saving my lungs & my life! Sleep well - I know I will!


Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoo

No photos from today... Just this one of my favourite Physician & my favourite little girl!

Day 201 - A Day In The City

Well, today was quite the day. I spent a good portion of the day panicking about all these little things that kept popping into my head… ‘What about this?’ ‘What about that?’ ‘You forgot about this.’ I was pretty much driving myself crazy.

I had a MUGA scan at 1030. A MUGA scan is a scan done to your heart to see how well your heart is functioning. Basically they inject you with a radioactive substance & then scan 2 sides of your heart with a gamma camera. They make a lovely little video of your heart & see what’s beating. It was certainly the lesser of any scanning evils I have had done so far.

As I will be having Doxorubicin as one of my chemo drugs (AKA Red Devil), I needed to have a scan of my heart. Doxorubicin is particularly known for weakening the heart muscle. I’m going to have to muster up a lot of love & keep this ticker strong! :o) I was a little concerned that the MUGA scan might interfere with the fertility program, but after many calls, I was finally told that the Doctor looked it up online & I should be fine. Um, so he googled my potential health risk? He didn’t know before hand? Comforting, real comforting!

The folks at the Nuclear Medicine department were friendly & easy going. I’d been there before for PET scans, but I was in a different section today. I visited with 2 of the technicians about orthotics, camera gear, children, falling in love on a cruise ship & few other things. They had me out of there with 6 minutes to spare until my appointment at the fertility clinic.

I had no idea there were so many infertile people in Calgary. It must be an epidemic! It was crazy busy in there! Both with staff & patients! I waited for about an hour until I finally met with the Doctor. Talk about the wind coming out of your sails. I am one day late to start IVF treatment, which means I will have to wait 5 more weeks before I can start chemo. ONE DAY. ONE DAY=5 weeks of postponed treatment. I’ve had time to deal with it, but I was pretty upset at the time. If only the bloody Doctors had responded to my emails & questions from the ship, I wouldn’t be sitting at this table hearing this crummy news. Ahh. Or if I had a few more hours notice about the previous day’s appointment! But! The good news is, they can help me & it can be done relatively quickly. Most people wait 1 year ++ for treatment. They are pulling a lot of strings to fit me in & I am very grateful for that. I have no idea what my Oncologist will say when I tell him it’s going to be another 3 weeks, but I suppose we’ll just have to work with it.

I’ll ask now for any prayers you might have to offer – that the IVF treatments go smoothly & swiftly without complications & that my body can keep the cancer under control for 5 more weeks without jeopardizing my health any further. Thank you!

I am coming back to the Fertility Clinic on Friday morning to discuss the plan. Fingers crossed!

I left the clinic & headed to Planet Organic for a few goodies. Then I stopped at Jugo Juice for a smoothie & then it was home time. The little doggies were very happy to see me! We spent a bit of time outside & then headed in to get comfy for the night.

I was quite tired by 2100, but I was still up at 2300 when Mom finally made it home from her long day in the city. We watched the dogs play for a bit & then hit the hay.

Here’s to a nice relaxing day tomorrow with nothing on the agenda…

Puppy dog tails & kisses,

Maria & Valentina

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sisters sharing the bed!

Day 200 - Headache & EVIC

No, the thought of work didn't give me a headache... I woke up with the same one I went to bed with last night (gee, one could terribly misinterpret that statement!) only now my headache was worse! 


Joe had told me that both he & Shauna would be at EVIC this morning & it would be my only chance to see the two of them until the chaos of the summer kicked in. Shauna has filled my position at EVIC & I'm thrilled, as now I can see them both a lot more this summer! :o)


I hauled my butt out of bed & dragged the new puppy (quite literally, as she didn't want to walk) & Valentina to EVIC. Of course, everyone loved them upon first sight. In our short hour there, we made several new friends, although Valentina has a new thing about her voice. Hmm... I hope I don't see barking in her future...


As my headache worsened, I thought I should boogie home. I had called the Fertility Clinic before I left & ensured my referral had made it there safe & sound. It had. I was now waiting for the Doctor to call with my appointment. I walked into the house & they had called! Could I come for an appointment at 1300? My heart sunk. It was 1320 & I'm 1/2 an hour out of town! Oh no! I was so sad! I called back right away & they squeezed me in for tomorrow afternoon. Perfect, as I had my MUGA scan just before. I was nervous & excited for everything to finally fall into place!


The rest of the day was spent between napping & unpacking. I think more napping than unpacking was accomplished! My neck is still quite sore & enlarged. I'm not excited about that. These headaches are kind of freaking me out too. But, why am I telling you that?! Worrying does none of us any good! 


Okay, I'm taking a painkiller & slathering my face with peppermint oil... When I say I'm going to cry myself to sleep... now you'll know why! Yes, of course, it's because I miss Jaco!!! That much!!! :o) But I do, really!!


Love & hugs,
Maria & Valentina
xxxxxx

The girls find a sunny spot to rest

These girls find a sunny spot to hike!

Day 190 - Roseau, Dominica

Argh! Another migraine this morning! I’m not sure what’s going on with these headaches, but I’m pretty fed up with them! Two in a week!? I was sick to my stomach with this one as well! A wave of nausea washed over me & then it was time to make a move! Shortly after I was done being sick, the auras came along. And shortly after that, the pain settled in. I was hot & cold & hot & cold. I finally fell into a deep sleep around 1000 & woke up at noon.

Jaco & I had planned on visiting Champagne Reef. We still managed to head out, just a little later than expected. We found a taxi driver, Avon, & he agreed to take us on the 15 minute drive out to the location. Valentina was allowed off the ship, so of course, she came with us. We headed down the steps & along the boardwalk, trying to pick a good spot to enter.

I scuba dove Champagne Reef on Valentine’s Day in 2007 & it was amazing! I saw my first seahorse here! I also ripped the butt out of the Divemaster’s wetsuit, but that’s another story! Anyhow, Champagne Reef is very unique. The gases from below the Earth’s surface escape & travel through the water as bubbles. Since the gases are warm, you feel like you’re swimming in a bathtub & when you add in the bubbles, it looks like you’re swimming in a glass of champagne! It’s very unique!

I wanted Jaco to experience the same thing & so here we were! We didn’t have snorkels or fins, only masks. Jaco is a strong swimmer, so I knew he wouldn’t have a problem. I, on the other hand, am not a swimmer, at all. I waded in to the chilly water – brrr! It was overcast today & raining off & on, making the water extra cool. I plopped my head into the water to have a peek & to my surprise, there were plenty of fish right there! I didn’t last long though, as the little fish kept nipping at my legs! Eew! If I had my snorkel gear, I could have swam away a little quicker, but no luck. Jaco swam out & took a few photos. He managed to find an area with bubbles coming up & spent some time investigating. I was happy he was able to experience it!

As usual, Valentina didn’t enjoy the water in the least. I put her on a big rock & she didn’t like that either. She was plum happy to roam around, sniff & mark her turf! She wasn’t even interested in her ball today! I think I will be understating it, when I say she will be happy to be home… But when I saw the photo of 3’ of snow at home, perhaps she wouldn’t mind the sand & sea a little longer! :o)

We drove back into town, enjoying wonderful conversation with Avon. He voice sounds like Morgan Freeman, with an accent. He told us of his daughter, a Doctor in Atlanta & his son, an IT Specialist, also in the USA. We discussed politics in South Africa, life in the Caribbean & Dominica. He was very interesting to visit with.

Avon dropped us off at a fabric shop. I had been there in 2007 & purchased some beautiful African print fabric. It is still in the plastic bag I received it in, but one day I will sew something with it & the new beautiful fabrics I bought today!

While I was having the fabrics measured, the lady helping me asked me about my neck. I shared a little bit of my story with her. I shared my eczema issues & she immediately grabbed some paper & scribbled some things down on it. She directed me to the nearby pharmacy where I could find it. While she was telling me about the products, her friend came in & commented on one of the fabrics I selected. She said she was going to come back tomorrow & pick up the fabric & have a dress made from it. When she heard I was after some special goods, she said she’d take me to the pharmacy to help me out. Wow! People here are so friendly & helpful!

On our way to the Pharmacy, she tells me that she used to live in Barbados – for 30 years! The lady in the shop was her good friend before Barbados & now after too! She took me in to the Jolly Pharmacy & we picked up 3 bars of Carbolic Soap & some Common Vaseline. When I inquired about a wig, she told me to wait until tomorrow & head to King Shepard’s or Cave Shepard’s. Apparently there is a wig shop there with better prices & great selection! Marvelous! I thanked her for her help & the insight for tomorrow & she was on her way.

I headed towards the ship, but was distracted by another shop. It was a beautiful boutique with great hats, jewelry & clothing. And everything was 50% off! Ha! I finally found a collapsible beach hat that I like! While I was paying for my things, I told the lady the hat would be covering my bald head in a few weeks. I shared my situation with her. She was so compassionate. She grabbed my hands & said, ‘You poor sweet thing!’ She then shared with me that she had recently experienced Guillain Barre Syndrome, which she caught from a certain type of fish. Fortunately hers was ascending, or possibly descending, one is less harmful than the other, but is was still something to cope with! She demanded my contact details because she wanted to know how I was doing & gave me a giant hug when I left the shop.

As I walked back to the ship, I was flabberghasted to reflect upon the kindness & generosity shown to me in the last hour. Wow! What a place! I look forward to returning to Dominica one day soon!

Once back on the ship, I paid the $4 fee for Valentina’s permit, visited with the amazing lady responsible for arranging Valentina’s permission to go ashore & picked up some postage for a few postcards. I headed back to Jaco’s office to see what he was up to. I then realized we needed to call my Oncologist if we were going to get it done before the weekend. To my amazement, all Jaco had to do was say ‘This is the Doctor phoning’ & they patched him right through.

Most of my questions were answered & my only disappointments were the travel restrictions. The Oncologist said I should not travel. At all. I am going to clarify, as I have a feeling he is thinking a long journey to Africa & not a quick trip to Victoria… We’ll see! My next issue of concern is the Fertility Clinic. I’m not sure what the charges will be, but I have a guesstimate that it will be around $10,000.  Jaco will have to leave a ‘specimen’ in Fort Lauderdale, have it frozen & flown to Calgary. Then I would have to take some VERY expensive drugs, have anaesthesia to harvest eggs & then have an embryo made. I’m not sure if there will be time before I start chemo or if there will be money available to do all of the above.

So, there are a few more things on my mind than just wigs! On a nice note, Valentina saw me getting ready for bed tonight & crawled right into her kennel all on her own. What a good girl! Oh, she has also started ‘intercepting’ Jaco & I’s kisses. As soon as she sees or hears us kissing, she has to jump up & add her kisses to ours. I told Jaco tonight, he better be careful… One of these times he’ll mistake her tongue for mine! Ha ha & gross at the same time!

On that note, here’s a few sloppy, wet kisses… Lekker slaap!

Maria, Jaco & Valentina

xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox

En route to Champagne Reef

Papa rescues Tweet Pea

Do you think she's missing snow right about now?

Tiny bubbles

Ouch! Urchin anyone?

Here fishy, fishy, fishy

We always have stunning weather when we set sail

Beautiful blue skies

One last look at Dominica.