Day 382 - Jessica, Acupuncture & The Keg

This morning found me back at Jessica's. I haven't seen her for awhile, so it was great to be back. As always, she pegs my issues right from the get go. She gave me a clean billing for my health, I was happy about that. She did tell me, however, that I have some issues regarding patience & control. For those of you who believe that health issues can stem from emotional/psychological issues, you'll agree with me (her). For those of you who don't, well, I guess you won't! But I do. I guess that's my mission for these next 6 weeks of living with my Mom. Implementing patience when she doesn't hear me for the 4th time & letting her drive the way she wants (please Lord, let us arrive safe!).

I'll do my very best to make our LAST 6 weeks of living together as peaceful as possible. Wish me luck! I know I need the patience on my side & letting go of things I can't control is obviously a big help - resistance is futile, isn't that what they say?

After Jessica's appointment, I motored over to Centre St where I met a young man interested in buying my lens. I've had it listed on Kijiji since about May/June, so I was quite pleased when he said he would take it. We visited for awhile & then I had to boogie on over to my next appointment. I was going to see Dr. Zhao for another acupuncture appointment. Last time I had been so worked up about the police stopping us & all the other running around we had to do, I didn't get rid of much anxiety! (To say the least) Luckily, this time, I was able to fall asleep & woke up feeling much better about things! (Ready to take on the patience/control task!)

I stopped at CNF to pick up a few fruits for Jaco & then I boogied home. We were having dinner at the Keg with Mom & Ken & Mom2 & Greg. Initially is was just Jaco, myself, Mom & Ken. But then I thought we should invite Mom2 & Greg, seeing as we were running out of days to see them again. When I got home, Jaco informed me that he had spoken to Lawrence & invited him too. While I was at home waiting for Jaco to finish getting ready, Lawrence called & asked if Neil could come as well. So, we went from 4 to 8 in 24 hours. We had a great meal, but we didn't get a whole lot of visiting in, as it was a long rectangle table. I felt bad that Mom & Ken arrived late & were seated at the opposite end of the table from us. Oh well, it's not like we're never going to be in Canada again!

I had excruciating bone pain tonight. I thought my spine & hips were going to fly out of my body & stick into the walls around me. It was pretty rough. I couldn't get up to hug anyone hello at dinner & in the middle of the night I got up to use the loo & fell onto the bed the pain was so bad! Yuck!

Tomorrow is chemo, so I am assuming my WBC will be sky high from all this bone pain. Here's to a calm & clear round #9. Lekker slaap!

xxxxMJV&O

Mom2 & Greg - What a foxxy lookin' couple, eh? 

Neil, Mom, Ken & Lawrence 

Mrs & Doc

Day 375 - Driving Like A House On Fire & A House On Fire

Today was my acupuncture appointment. Today was a day I should have just stayed in bed.

We left late for the appointment, so Jaco was speeding. I usually do a pretty good job of backseat driving, but today I felt weak & sick again, so I wasn't watching the road. We met a cop. Jaco was driving 142 km/h in a 100 km/h zone. We got stopped. It gets better. Jaco doesn't have an international driving license. The cop didn't care about his SA license. I couldn't find the insurance. I could find plenty of expired insurance in the glove box, but not the current one. He also got upset when I found an extra license plate sticker. (?!) He really got upset when he couldn't read the VIN# & thought the car was stolen.

Thank goodness he didn't ask me for my license, as I haven't been able to find it since last week. We received a $281 fine & I had to drive. In the end, the cop was actually quite nice about the whole ordeal. It could have been a lot worse! Apparently he could have towed the car & given Jaco a much heftier fine, but he didn't! Additionally if Jaco had added a mere 6 kms more to his speed, he would have had the lucky opportunity to meet some of Canada's finest in the Judicial System!

Thankfully Dr. Zhao still held my appointment, even though we were 50 minutes late!!! (for a one hour appointment!) I think I neared 30 needles today & I was quite restless for the last 10 minutes - not sure why.

Our next stop was Fishman's to pick up my wedding dress. I dropped it off on March 18th (coincidentally our anniversary) & told them I would pick it up in June. It's November. When I went to pick it up, I asked them to put it in one of those special boxes that helps to preserve it. The gal at the counter told me her boss would have to do it, so I need to come back another day. I hope they don't mind waiting another 8 months!

Next up was Safeway for oranges & Banzai Sushi for... SUSHI!!! $4.50 makes for a great supper! We drove home to greet the girls & unload the car. Mom arrived shortly after & asked if we wanted popcorn. I told her not really, but I'd probably end up eating some. As I left the room, I heard her bragging to Jaco about a new 'popping technique' that Ken had showed her. Whatever.

I'm in the bedroom on the laptop (as usual) & Jaco came in to join me. I commented to him that Mom must have forgotten about the popcorn because I could smell something burning. He giggled with me - remembering our 1/2 hr whistling tea kettle from a few weeks ago. The next thing I hear is Mom stomping into the kitchen muttering about her burning popcorn & then it turns into, 'JILL! JACO! We've got a FIRE! You better come help me! HURRY! WE'VE GOT A FIRE!'

I fly off the bed & into the kitchen, grab the water jug & start coughing like crazy. Before I get anything wet, she tells me 'It's okay. I think I've got it out.' Meanwhile the entire kitchen is a white haze. I'm not sure if it's the burnt popcorn or the baking soda she dumped on the flames. We're all coughing & hacking & standing out on the deck. There isn't much air circulation, so she drives to the bunkhouse to get a few fans.

When she returned, she told me how she removed the lid off the pan & it burst into flames. By the time she went to the cupboard for the baking soda, the flames had doubled. That was when she panicked. I asked her why she didn't just put the lid BACK ON the pot & to that she replied, 'I didn't want to burn myself!' Hmpf. Needless to say, it was a little smokey on the homefront tonight.

When I had called her prior to the fire & told her of our police fiasco, she said, 'Sometimes these things happen to remind us of what's really important - what we have on hand.' So I told her after the fire fiasco, 'Sometimes these things happen to remind us of what's really important - what we have on hand.'

Somedays are just better spent in bed. Under the covers & relatively safe. And I use the word 'relative-ly' rather loosely. Thank goodness the day is done. Sleep peacefully & safely.

Oh! I also talked to Sylvia tonight. She told me about the surprise party her girlfriend's threw on the 23rd. She asked me if I went to Extra Foods in Athabasca, which I had. Why? I asked. Her friend was in Extra Foods & later looked at Sylvia's photos & saw the same chick with a henna'd head in the photo as she did at Extra Foods! Hah!

xxxxA charred Maria, Jaco, Valentina & Oceana

What do you say? 

 Cough! Cough!

'At least it wasn't your good pan!' 'It was my good pan!' (All Mom's pans are good pans, FYI) 

When I went in to take the photos, the left front burner was actually on & sizzling away. Was she trying to start ANOTHER fire?  

 Good ol' baking soda. Here's another use!

Oil, baking soda, heat & a good pan. Just what the Doctor ordered for a night of mayhem.

Day 368 - Acupuncture & AMA

Today was my first acupuncture treatment. I decided to give it a try after the last round's fiasco. Dr. Zhao was recommended to me by Andrea, the gal who had the same disease as I. The treatment was fantastic. I never dreamt that I could sleep with 20+ needles stuck in me! I woke myself up snoring a few times! Ha! I had needles in my feet, calves, wrists, forearms, chest, forehead, head... Crazy!

Unfortunately I managed to lock my keys in my car. I haven't done that for a long time! I was flustered parking in the underground parking, not knowing how to get aboveground & running late. Luckily I had AMA. However, when the fellow came to unlock my car, he asked for photo ID. I couldn't find my Driver's License. Where was it? I went through my purse, my wallet... Nowhere to be found! Luckily he took my Costco card as a form of ID. When he jimmy'd the door open, he commented that my car has been  broken into many times. Quite likely, as Contemplate is 20 years old.

I stopped at Community Natural Foods & picked up some groceries. Why, I don't know. I had picked out 5 recipes in my vegan cookbook & thought I'd experiment. Although tomorrow is chemo & I won't be cooking for a few days. In any case, I was feeling ambitious for once. I'll keep you posted on the cooking front.

My next stop was to Mom2's. She was going to re-henna my head. There wasn't much left to trace of Larissa's design after the shave, so we had to improvise a little. It turned out quite well! I'm happy to have another funky design for a week or so. It's a pity it doesn't last a little longer, as it is a lot of work! Mom2 had fun playing with my head & some henna, and I enjoy having the paste applied, so it was a win-win!

I arrived home around 2100 & got a few things ready for tomorrow's big treatment. Oh please let it go well. I'm having a Picc line put in... Wish me luck!

xxxxMJV&O

Day 119 - Things Are Never What They Seem

I'll rise, but I won't shine. I was up early & out the door by 0850. My appointment with Dr. Dowdall was at 0945. I was about to find out the results from my CT scan & my biopsy. 


I did a little homework on the biopsy. I was frustrated my results hadn't come back. I also hadn't heard anything from Dr. Daly's office. I left a message on Monday to see if I would have an appointment on Thursday to find out the biopsy results. I hadn't received a call back by Wednesday, so I phoned again & spoke to the appointments desk. The gal on the other end says, 'I don't have an appointment for you this week. All I can see is a Fine Needle Aspiration scheduled for the end of March.' Oh. WHAT?!?!?! This is not a good sign! And if he has rescheduled me, why hasn't he called me to tell me what happened with the first one! He did elude that it may not have worked, which made me quite cranky! I mean, I've already had 12 needles stuck into my neck & they still can't figure things out?!? Come on! 


Anyhow, after I found out about the upcoming appointment, I phoned Dr. Dowdall's office & asked if they had access to the biopsy results. Sure enough, they did. Good. Two birds, one stone.


So, there I sat, in the little examination room. My stomach doing flip flops, awaiting to hear the results. One of the interns came in to talk to me about the results. She printed off the CT scan & told me the biopsy results weren't there yet. It said I'd had a biopsy, but that was it. Argh! (Hands being thrown up in the air & eyes rolling!) She said it usually takes two weeks to get the results & when I told her it had already been two weeks, she said she would check again.


The next thing, Dr. Dowdall & the intern come through the door. Dr. Dowdall sits down & we have a little chat. The results were back. The needle biopsy showed NO MALIGNANT CELLS. ------------------------------LONG PAUSE--------------------------------


What? Yes, that's right. No cancerous cells. Two big needles & one little one shoved into this lump that's been hanging out on my neck for two years & no cancerous cells. I saw the boogery little sample he pulled out of my neck. What gives? Okay, yes, I should be ecstatic they didn't find cancer. I am excited that there are healthy cells in my neck - they're fighting the good fight for me! But then, why do I have this mass on the side of my neck? I got excited, thinking it was Coccidiomycosis! Yes, quick round of antibiotics & I'm back in the swing of things! But sigh, no. Now, I am faced with the option of a surgical biopsy only. Cutting out a node & that's that. This goes against every ounce of medical beliefs that I have. 


Your lymph system is your body's sewer system. It cleans up all the garbage. If cancer is a nasty thing, why would I remove part of my waste disposal, only to leave the rest of it to work that much harder!? Then there's the risk of Lymphemdema, where your the limb closest to the lymph glands affected swells up like a water balloon. And then of course, there's the whole biopsy seeding, which we all know 'doesn't exist', oh, & don't forget that when you get a cut, cells proliferate to 'heal' the wound. Do you think they differentiate between cancer cells & healthy cells? No, didn't think so. 


So that's the Reader's Digest version of why I don't want an excision biopsy. If they aren't swift enough to pull cancerous cells out of my neck after 12 attempts, what makes me confident they won't muck things up while I'm under surgery?


Shocked & stunned, I drive home with my eyes on the road, but my mind a million miles away. When I told Mom the news, she was really excited. I suppose I should be too. But then, what is it & why is it still there? My next obstacle was Mexico. I can't very well go for treatment if I don't have a diagnosis. I know that neither Doctor will administer chemo without knowing what they are treating. I phoned Dr. Castillo & he said I could do a biopsy there, but it would cost about $300-500. Gulp. My budget had already been cut in half & doing the biopsy in Mexico would leave me that much less for the actual treatments! 


I was being pressured to see only one doctor & having only half the funding I'd expected, adding now, another failed biopsy, it suddenly seemed like the Powers That Be were screaming at me to not go to Mexico. My heart shouted back some sort of expletive, but in any case, after Mom's suggesting we stay home, I decided not to go. 


I had an appointment with Jessica that afternoon, so I had a nap, woke up, ticked off at the world & proceeded to get the car stuck in the yard. Again. In the exact same spot as last time. Leaving to see the exact same person as last time. Argh! My brother was there for lunch, so him & Mom pushed the car out while I grumbled about why I couldn't just take the truck. 


On my way in my trusty ol' Contemplate, I made my way to Jessica's. I was early! Well, I should have been really early, but my photographic memory is failing me. I took every right turn, but the right one! I finally stopped at a gas station to look it up in the road atlas & finally made my way there! 


I shared with Jessica my crappy day thus far & she put me in a much better place! Knowing my mind is a powerful tool, we worked a lot on how to deal with this current issue & when I left one hour later, I felt much, much, MUCH better. 


I am quite happy to give it a month before the biopsy & work on getting rid of these lumps! I left for my acupuncture appointment, had a lovely spine crack - ooooooh yeah! It was splendid! I could finally shoulder check again! Although, a headache had been brewing since I left Jessica's, so I decided to abandon prayers & come home. I really didn't want to talk or see anyone & I knew Mom was going, so I would have the house to myself. 


When I got home, I saw that Mom had cancelled the flights, hotel & both Doctor's appointments. I also saw that Dr. Daly's office had called with a biopsy appointment. For February 24th! What? In less than a week? I have just got off the phone with them & they booked a Fine Needle Aspiration. I have asked them to change it to a Core Needle Biopsy & throw the Fine Needle at the dart board. I'm started to feel like a human pin cushion here! Yeesh!


Anyhow, I phoned my dear friend, Laura, whom I was so excited to see in Mexico. Where we first met & shared a passion for health (& shopping). I was so excited to meet her family - her wonderfully supportive husband & her three beautiful girls. But, now, it will be on different terms, I guess! :o(


I hit the hay at 0930, exhausted from a very emotional day. 


So there you have it. I'm still sitting in good ol' Bragg Creek, wondering what on Earth is going on & where I will go from here. No tacos for this chick. Just some more snow. I plan on taking a workshop from Jessica this weekend & hopefully I'll have so more exciting news to report by Sunday night.


Thanks for tuning in & here's to a better tomorrow!


xxxx
Maria & Valentina

Three words to change the course of life.

Day 112 - No Storm.

Starting the day running late never proves successful. You'd think I would know this by now, but apparently I just haven't learned it yet! 


Mom & I were to leave for town at 1100. We left at 1145. Of course, this put us late meeting Al & Wilma for lunch. Luckily I called & told Al we would be late & it wasn't too big of a deal. I was thrilled to see them again. Sometimes you meet some people & you feel an instant connection with them. It was this way with Al & Wilma. I swear, I can feel their warm hearts when I'm around them!


I met them flying home from the ship this last time. Funny, I spent 26 days on the same small ship with them & we never met. Then, when the cruise is over, we meet standing in line for the shuttle to the airport! Turns out, we were actually on the same snorkeling tour in Bora Bora! Ha! 


Anyhow, we enjoyed a wonderful visit & I look forward to seeing them again soon! They have a fantastic journey coming up that will take them to Cape Town, Namibia & West Africa. I am so thrilled that we share the same passion for travel & far flung destinations! I can not wait to hear all about it! I shared some tips on Namibia when I first met them & I'm sure they'll have plenty to share with me about West Africa! 


We enjoyed a lovely lunch at Earl's. It was such a beautiful day out - if it weren't for the remaining bits of snow, I'm sure they could have opened up the patio! Of course, time ticked past quickly & before we knew it, it was time for me to leave for my Oncology appointment. Valentina said a quick hello & goodbye & we were on our way!


Mom had left lunch early to run a few errands &, of course, she was running late, so I went to the appointment on my own. I did sneak out later & called her & luckily she was close by. 


I must say, it was quite ridiculous. We sat there for an entire hour before the Doctor came in to see us. When he finally did, he said he didn't have the biopsy results yet! What?!? He could have at least told me that from the beginning! Now I was going to be late for my Acupuncture appointment. Argh!


What did surprise me though, was that he had my CT scan results already! I had the scan in another town from another Doctor & he had access to them?? Well, that was the good news! He said the Doctor who did up the report didn't have my previous scans to compare them with, but from what the Oncologist could tell, the cancer hasn't spread (!) & it doesn't appear to have grown at all!! If it has, it is very minimal! YAHOO!!! I didn't get a copy of the report, but I will get that when I meet with my GP next week. Now that's what I'm talking about!!! Now, remember, I had my last PET scan the end of July. I didn't start my current protocol until the later part of October. It's working!!!! Hallelujah! 


The rest of the appointment didn't go so hot. He said he wasn't sure what the hold up was with my pathology report, but in case it didn't turn out, would I be willing to do an excision biopsy? HUH? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop the train! If I wanted to do that, why on Earth would I have you jab a bunch of big needles in my neck!?!? Do I look insane to you?!? I told him, nope. Another Core Needle Biopsy if this didn't work. Besides, he mentioned the former grumpy surgeon who would be the one to do the surgery. I commented on his lousy attitude & the Oncologist said, 'Oh, they're all like that.' I said I didn't care, that's not an excuse! I heard a Westjet joke on my last flight & I'll manipulate it to fit this situation. What's the difference between God & a Surgeon? God doesn't think he's a Surgeon! :oP


The next topic of discussion at the appointment was the Chemofit test. He completely dismissed it & said it was useless. He said it was often only done on end stage patients (of which I am no where near) & they had already been through chemo that didn't work, so how would the test prove anything? Then he said if the test worked they would already have it in place. Right. Don't even open that can of worms. Bite your tongue... Just bite your tongue. And I did! 


Then I asked a few questions about the chemo protocols. Turns out I would be up for ABVD. Yup, the one that causes cardiac toxicity & oxygen toxicity. I asked about scuba diving. At first he brushed it off, then in the end, he tells me I can kiss my scuba diving career goodbye. Goodbye?! I haven't even started!! I haven't dove the Great Barrier Reef yet! Sorry, no can do! And for those of you who are rooting for the chemo path... Even my 'Other Doctor' said NO to the bleomycin (oxygen toxicity). Pulmonary Fibrosis? No thanks. When I asked the Oncologist about my options if I didn't do bleomycin (lungs), doxorubicin (heart), cyclophosphamide (secondary bladder cancer) or prednisone (13 side effects) what my options were, he said none! And then he tries to tell me that there are more protocols for Lymphoma than CHOP & ABVD! Caught you!


I also asked about support in the line of nutritional, supplemental & so forth. Oh yes, we have therapists & nutritionists. Okay, so what kind of supplements? Oh, no supplements while you are on chemo, they could interact. Okay, what about eliminating the chemo drugs, dead cancer cells & other bodily waste? Just drink lots of water. Seriously? I can feel my poor liver wincing from here, let alone my kidneys & intestines! I have come to realize there is NO LOGIC in ANY OF THIS!!!! 


Needless to say, I am more excited to get to Mexico than ever before! Especially with the news of NO GROWTH!!!! I'm praying that my pessimistic Oncologist didn't want to share the wonderful news that it's actually smaller than the last scan! Hey, a girl's got to have some hope, right??!!


I left TBC in a state of mixed emotions & headed for my Acupuncture appointment, now half an hour late. Luckily someone cancelled & I was able to still get in! Dr. Mah tested my supplements & all but the Cayenne & Curcumin (tumeric) tested strong. I reckon it's because I loathe being in the kitchen! :o) But, he strengthened me to them & by the end of the session I was good to go! It's so relaxing. I fall asleep every time! I'm lying down with a heat pack on my neck, a heat lamp over my abdomen & then of course, the 8 needles in me. Needless to say, there's no rolling over! :o)


After the acupuncture, I headed for Community Natural Foods. Again. I had to pick up some supplements for Mexico & I added a few more to the regiment. Perhaps the funniest part of my day was when I asked for some help with the coffee. I needed to get medium roast fine grind. The fellow told me they didn't have any ground coffee, but I could use the grinder in the store. I agreed & asked which kind of coffee to do I choose? He asked what kind of flavour I wanted. *Blush* I replied, 'Well, the flavour doesn't really matter. It's for an upside down coffee.' He looked at me perplexed. I continued, 'It's for an enema.' 'Okay, well then... Do you want to go to Vienna, Guatemala, Tuscany, or Kenya on this enema?' :o) All in a day's work. FYI - It's supposed to help detox the liver. I haven't tried it yet, but I'll spare you the details.


I also bumped into Zoe, my MCP friend. We shared a big hug & I told her I'd pop in after I returned from Mexico to let her know how I was doing. Several hundred dollars later, I was on my way to prayers, only 1/2 an hour late.


Prayers are always fun. It's great to share in each others lives & share in our faith that our prayers will be answered. It's even more fun when they are immediately answered! I prayed that Jaco would find the time to update his CV so we could have it in to the recruiter before she returned from her holidays. My husband, in all his perfection, does NOT respond well to outside influences of pressure. The more I push, the more he resists. Running late? Hurry up? Drag my feet. The day of our wedding in Waterton, we had 20 minutes to get ready. He tells me, 'I'm going to the gym. See you in a bit.' AHHHHHHHHH!!!! But, luckily punctuality isn't a strong gene on my side of the family either. Hey, we'll get there! My own personal time zone! ;o) Anyhow, to my amazement, I returned home to check my emails & find his CV in my inbox! Wow! He is perfect! Two prayers answered! :o)


Exhausted I crawled into bed after a brief chat with Jaco. He was up at 0300 still packing & ready to fly home... Oh how I wish I was on that plane too!


A big thank you to my Mom for rearranging her day to come to the appointment with me. Even if we did just sit there & giggle about Valentina's flatulence!


Lekker slaap & see you soon!
Love, 
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Al, Wilma & KC

Sigh. I've only shrunk by 6 lbs. Do you think my UGG's weigh 19 lbs?

Valentina hits Tom Baker again. What a good girl!