Day 426 - The Eve of The Last Round & Christmas Eve

Can you believe it? It's finally here. 6 months of what I thought would be pure torture & it wasn't! And it's finally coming to an end!

I spent most of the day trying to tidy, pack, organize & get things ready for tomorrow evening. I packed my 'chemo bag' for the last time. I packed the pills for the last time, the neupogen bag for the last time, the 'chemo blanket' for the last time...

Looking back, I packed books, journals, laptop, ipod, food, etc, etc. the first few rounds. It was so heavy, no one wanted to carry the bag! I never used any of it! Now I just take my pill & put on the headphones & sleep! Happy day!

Valentina & I played this evening, then she tried her best to send me to bed. I have a hard time sleeping the night before chemo. I know if I stay up late, I'll most likely sleep through treatment the next day.

I want to say THANK YOU to all of the amazing people who helped me through this roller coaster ride - Jaco, Mom, Mom2, Al, Wilma, Jenn, Trisha, Roxy, Kevin, Collet, Dave, Laura, Sylvia, Janis, Kerry, Bronwen, Jessica, Fawna, Lara, Zoe, Marc, Joanne, Ross, Krystle, Dr. Daly, Dr. Castillo, Dr. Dowdall, the INCREDIBLE Nurses at PLC - Sam, Iny, Deana, Marilyn & the others whose names have slipped my mind, Julie, and all the friends who have commented on the blog or Facebook, wrote emails & called the house. It has meant the WORLD to me. Those of you who showed up at the house, attended the head shaving party, said prayers (!), I thank you from the bottom of my heart to the top of my bald head!

It has been quite the journey, with plenty of lessons learned. I'm anxious to remember what 'living' feels like again. To be active, eating healthy, thinking healthy & being healthy. I can't wait for 2011 to begin. A fresh slate!

On that note, I'm off to bed, for tomorrow, the hardest part will finally be over! AMEN!!!!

xxxxMVO&A

Mama! Come to bed!

Day 355 - Round 7 Take 2

I felt 100% better this morning. I convinced myself that today was going to go smoothly & I would be just fine at the end of the day. And it worked! Today was a breeze!

I think it must have been the Ativan they gave me before I started treatment. I slept through the entire treatment!! It was awesome! Jaco said a prayer for me just before they hooked up the IV & then they brought me a warm blanket. I reclined the chair as flat as I could & I was out cold! Apparently my Mom, Ken, Unka Jer, & Grandma all came to visit & I didn't even wake up! Luckily they came to see me when the treatment was finished & I was able to visit with them a little.

I am absolutely amazed at how well the day went! We met with Dr. Daly briefly to discuss the pic line option for next time & he said he would be in touch regarding that & the CT scan. We left for home right after that & I went to bed again. I woke up later on & called a few friends. I NEVER feel well enough to do that! Whoo hoo! May each & every round left run as smoothly as this one! (I'm still going for acupuncture. I need the one up on chemo!)

I had jokingly told the girls in the treatment room before I started that they could put me in a coma if they wanted to. I guess they did! :o) Bring it on!

On a positive note, Jaco has now driven enough times that I no longer need to tell him where to turn & which lane to be in! He's finally remembering his way! And he even came back to the hospital on time today! I didn't have to wait for him! Oh the joys of chemo! :oP

With that, thank you for your continued prayers, positive energy & support - it means so much more than you'll ever know. I'm learning so much throughout this entire 'chapter'. Friends that I assumed would be there, have become invisible & those I least suspected have stepped up to the plate. My definition of family has been reviewed & altered, there are so many changes taking place in every area of my life, I'm doing my best to stay caught up!

With gratitude,
Maria xxxx
(& Jaco, Valentina & Oceana)

Sorry - no photos these past few days! But there are more coming!

Day 254 - Bald As The Prairie

Well, it's done. And dusted. I'm officially bald. Tonight was the big par-tay & I'm pleased to say it was a shaving success! 


Mom ran around this morning like a chicken with its, never mind. Mom was REALLY BUSY this morning trying to help me get as much ready as possible. She ended up leaving for Saskatchewan about 1300. My brother & my Dad were competing in the Maple Creek Ranch Rodeo this year & they haven't done so in a long time. My Dad is also 60 this year, so I don't suppose he'll have many years left of competing! When I rebooked the date of the par-tay, I didn't check with anyone about conflicting events. I would have really enjoyed seeing my Dad & brother in the rodeo, but it wasn't meant to be! 


Mike & Jenn had camped over, so they were helping me throughout the day too. Jenn helped with the food preparation & Mike helped with the yard preparation. Harrison helped everywhere he could! He was pretty excited to be outside & exploring. He didn't care to have a nap, although he was clearly exhausted! Eventually we coaxed him into a nap in the house & he was out cold!


I was a bit panicked over the amount of food & I didn't think we would have enough. Of course, I now have a house full of leftovers! I was so thrilled that so many people were able to make it! They have no idea how much this means to me!


We had a wonderful time with many moments of laughter & smiles. It was so much more than just a bonfire & hotdogs. These people showed up & to me it felt like I had the support of a million people surrounding me. Facing chemo is a massive challenge surrounded by an ocean of fears. Losing my hair is just one of the hurdles to overcome. Tonight, they made it a fun filled evening & it couldn't have turned out any better. 


Thank you to:
- Mom - for all your hard work to set things up before you left
- Mike & Jenn - for all your help with EVERYTHING! The lawn, veggies, lanterns...
- Mom2 - Madelaine - for having the courage & unconditional love to shave your head with me. You never cease to amaze me! 
- Shauna & Scott - for filming & photographing the night's events
- Joe & Dara - for bringing food, chairs & a playmate for Valentina!
- Nathan - for showing up in uniform & keeping everyone well behaved! :oP
- Lara - for being inspiration & bringing Flyn, the Miracle Baby
- Greg - for BBQing delish burgers & getting the fire started!
- Russ - for supporting your sister & getting the fire started!
- Mah-Joy - for doing a smashing great job on our haircuts!
- Diane - for cutting my hair for Locks of Love
- Lawrence - for starting the mullet craze!
- Neil - for bringing the beautiful flowers
- Kristine - for continuing the mullet craze & reassuring me that short hair is beautiful!
- Nancy - for the beautiful pebble & the prayer
- Kevin - for showing up after a long shift & an early one tomorrow
- Vivian - for staying late & visiting with me (& for trying a s'more!)
- Robyn, Ray Ray, & Dez - for all your help getting things set up & hauled out to the fire!


Rather than post a few photos, which would never do the mullet, mohawk & rat tail justice, here's the link to the album on Facebook... 


Bald As The Prairie, Floatin' Like A Fairy


Btw, it feels REALLY GOOD on my scalp. My fingers like the feeling & my scalp does too. It's kinda like the 'shivery's' but all over your scalp... :o)


Love & hugs,
Maria & Valentina
xxxxxxx
ps - I'm sleeping with a toque on! My noggin is cold!

Day 205 - Crazy Day In May

Today was nothing like I expected! At all! I was off to Cochrane to surprise my dear friend Jenn at her birthday party. She turned 30 this week & her best friend, Cindy, was hosting a little soiree for her. I hadn't seen or spoken to Jenn since I'd been back, so I thought it would be fun to surprise her! 

As usual, I was late. I stopped to get fuel & then an ice cream cake. Cindy had asked me to bring an appetizer, but seeing as I was late, I thought I might just as well bring dessert instead! Jenn was very surprised to see me & I was excited to see her. She's been training hard for her triathlon & it has had an impact! She looks fantastic! I'm so proud of her! I only wish I had half that dedication! Wow! 

Jenn had a baby girl in December & I am always amazed at how much Heidi changes every time I see her! I also met Stan & Heather, Jenn's triathlon coach. (They were also Cindy's coach, but Cindy had serious emergency surgery not too long ago! She's healing well, but obviously triathlon training has been put on hold!!!) 

Heather is an OB/GYN Nurse & works across the street from the fertility clinic & had a lecture from Dr. Foong yesterday! Small world! Apparently they were discussing infertility in gorillas. Apparently acquiring semen from male gorillas is a bit of a task, as they aren't that into porn! :o) We had quite the chuckle! Heather's husband, Stan, started asking me questions about my health. At first I was a little stand offish, as I am not used to people being quite so direct, especially strangers! It took me awhile to warm up, as I wasn't sure what his intentions were. Sometimes people are interested in the 'gory details' & not too much else. But clearly Stan's intentions were true. He shared stories of a friend who was helping a couple in Cambodia, he encouraged me to pursue my photography career - he shared an inspiring website of a photographer he knows - Noah Fallis - Wow! Stan offered to help my Mom & I out in any way he could, which was most kind of him. I told him I wasn't sure what the next 6 months would look like, but we'll take it as it comes! After we had chatted for nearly an hour, covering various topics from cancer to photography to cruising, Stan excused himself & I chatted with Heather for awhile. 

I brought Valentina in to introduce her to Cindy's family & the kids loved her. (Of course!) When it was time to leave, I was saying goodbye to everyone & hugged Stan & Heather farewell & told them it was nice to meet them & I was sure we'd see each other again - if nothing else at Jenn's triathlon! As I hugged Stan goodbye, he put a wad of bills into my purse! I started to stammer right away, but he insisted that he wanted me to have it, just take it & don't say a word! What? Huh? But? I am still in shock! Speechless, humbled, flabbergasted, shocked & incredibly grateful! Crazy! I came for a birthday party for a best friend & certainly didn't expect something like this!

Looking back, I can remember the light & twinkle in Stan's eyes as he asked about my health & how I was doing. He had also just given Jenn a road bike for her triathlon, so I'm gathering he finds great satisfaction in helping people. I am so shocked by his generosity. What an unexpected gift! Angels come in all shapes & sizes! 

Needless to say, I drove home with my jaw on the floorboards & a lot on my mind. Dear ol' Contemplate was fulfilling her namesake tonight! 

With gratitude,

Maria & Valentina

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

I love birthday cake!!!

My Best Friend Jenn - Isn't she gorgeous!?

The Look of Love!

The Burnett Bunch are mostly May birthdays!

Lil' Miss Heidi

How cute is that smile!?!

Day 144 - WHAT kind of Photography?!

So today started off as a fairly quiet day. I was enjoying the house to myself, playing loud music, doing whatever I wanted until whatever house I chose to... Gosh, I sound like a teenager - sometimes it really sucks living with your Mom. 


My Mom is great, she's a huge source of support throughout this entire journey, but some times, grown women just shouldn't live together. As much as I would love to find my own space, it just doesn't make much sense to throw out $600+/month in rent when I'm going to be gone for 1/2 the time! 


Meanwhile, back at the ranch...


I sent my letter in to the bankruptcy office & later received a call saying that it would be enough to keep my gear. AMEN!!!! YAY!!! That in itself was enough for celebration. The funny thing was, well, you remember the AHA moment I was talking about earlier? Well, I knew I had to get my butt in gear & do more with my photography. Enter Nicole. Nicole is a friend of mine from Saskatchewan who is very much an Entrepreneur & currently runs her own Salon. If you need a great do & want to leave feeling like a new woman, just visit her at Salon Nini in Indian Head. While you're there, check out her Mom's amazing yard/garden. :o) Anyhow, I hadn't heard from Nicole in quite some time & today she phoned. We chit chatted about my health & her recent trip to Hawaii. I asked her how her photography was going & she said, 'Funny you should ask!'
'Oh?'
'Steve (her husband) & I were just talking about it & he said it's time to '(Poo) or get off the pot''
'Okay.'
'So I'm going to San Diego for a workshop. You should come with me.'
'Sure, what kind of workshop is it?'
'Boudoir'
'Come again?!?'


She sends me to the website & I'm instantly thinking of cheesy, tasteless near porn type of photography. And then the website loads. WOW! I want my pictures taken by these girls! 


I see the immediate potential for creating self-esteem & self-worth in women around the world. Helping them realize they ARE beautiful, no matter where they see flaws. Oooh! That would be so much fun! Have your hair & makeup done, look like a supermodel, do yourself proud or give a special gift to your Honey... 


Of course, I need to talk it over with Jaco & I should most likely hold on until I've decided what the plan is with my health. I told Nicole I would let her know on the weekend. Hmm, they have a workshop in Paris, France. Maybe I can convince her to go to Paris instead! This could be just the thing I need to reactivate my passion for photography. Weddings, yes, families, yes. Boudoir... never before! Before you think I've lost the plot, checkout their website. It's tasteful & anything but trashy. http://theboudoirdivas.com Let me know what you think! And if you want to be a guinea pig after I've done the workshop! I'll need to build a portfolio!!! :o) 


I hang up the phone, naturally excited at the thought of something new, but intimidated by the fact that I know absolutely nothing about this type of photography. As the day goes on & I think about it more & more, and I become more & more excited... I can't wait to talk to Jaco... 


I spend the rest of the day researching boudoir photographers in the area & what they charge, check out their portfolios & blogs... Phew! There's a lot of information out there! Interestingly enough, a few of the boudoir photographers have been to San Diego to the same girls for the workshops! 


Cross-eyed & overwhelmed from so much research & information, I hit the hay... We'll see what tomorrow will bring!


Lekker slaap,
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Fantastic light as the day comes to close

Dark skies & light on the trees.