Day 225 - Blessings Abound!

It feels so bizarre to be home again. I miss Jaco. A lot. We had such a great time, even though it was brief & he was busy, we made the most of every minute. I think if I could offer advice to anyone out there... Enjoy every moment of your life. At 31, I never dreamt I would be struggling to regain my health & enjoy the rest of my life. Carpe diem!

Today I had to go to the Fertility Clinic (RFP) to pick up my drugs, as they are closed on the weekend. I wasn't sure what day I would have to start the drugs, so I wanted to be ready. I wasn't sure how much the drugs were going to cost, either. When I initially started the procedure with them, I was told the IVF procedure would be $6700, plus approximately $2500-3000 for the drugs. Ouch! I inquired about some financial assistance, but they said I didn't have time to apply. (And who said time=money?) They told me they would apply for compassionate care & see if some of the drugs could be covered. A few weeks back, I received a call saying the Luveris had been covered, but they didn't know about the Gonal F pens yet. I knew I would be paying $30 for the antibiotics & supplies. Today I would find out what the bill was. 

It was $30. OH MY GOODNESS! What a blessing!!! How incredibly lucky do I feel! Wow! That helped Jaco & I in so many ways! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The pharmacist, who is from Polska, showed me the proper way to do the injections. Not injection, plural, as in injections! Yes, I will now have to do 2 shots per day instead of 1. Oh lucky, lucky me. BUT... at least these are miniature shots... The total is about 2ml. The needles are barely visible compared to my other shots! This will be a breeze! They are only subcutaneous, so I don't have to worry about making it down to the muscle. Oh sweet relief! 

They gave me a cute little bag to keep everything in & best of all, my very own sharps container! Now I have a proper disposal! :o)

I also saw my Doctor when I was walking out, so I asked her a few questions. When I had arrived home, I had a letter from the Oncologist regarding my CT scan. They wanted to scan my head, neck, chest, abdomen & pelvis. That is a load of radiation. Especially on my ovaries, which I'd like to keep in top form for the egg retrieval. I don't want babies that look like Hiroshima victims. I asked Dr. Foong & she suggested it would be best to wait to have the scan. She also told me she would be away when I had my procedure done, but she would call me when she was back & I could come in & talk about the embryos they made. She is such a wonderful doctor. 

My next stop was the pet shop. Valentina has been barking to a ridiculous level as of late. I have tried shushing her up, pokes in the ribs, bops on the bum & nothing is working. I bought an anti-bark collar that sprays a puff of citronella every time she barks. Here's hoping!

Here's a link to the study I found on CT scans. It's an interesting read! I actually called the diagnostics division at the hospital to find out exactly how much radiation I would be receiving. I was a little insulted when the chap on the other end asked me if I was a Radiologist & that I wouldn't understand anything unless I was. It's called Wikipedia & Google. Hu-llo! Anyhow, he did have the decency to tell me that if it was his wife in my situation, he would postpone the scan. I felt good about that!

I tried to phone the Oncologist & his nurses/receptionists, but they were either rude or unhelpful. Oh this is so much fun!!! :o) I have the scan on Tuesday & as it's now the weekend, it's not looking promising. I also tried to book an appointment with the Oncologist for 10 June to have some more questions answered, but it sounds like he's booked full. I have this sinking feeling that things will be postponed. There is NO WAY he's going to be ready for me on Friday a.m. when I refuse a drug on Thursday afternoon. Nor am I going to be ready when I want time to research the drugs & dosages before I start. 

Doxorubicin damages the heart & there is a lifetime dose. Damage starts much sooner than the lifetime dosage, so I want to make sure I'm within the NO DAMAGE zone.

Additionally, I've had enough time to contemplate this scan business. I get that they have a set protocol to follow. I get that they want a baseline scan so they can know how much progress I've made. However, I also get that CT scans cause cancer & if I have one now, adding in the scan from February, another one in 3-4 months to check on my progress & than again when I'm done in 6 months... That's approximately 2000 chest x-rays in 11 months. Not cool. When you also consider the fact that if the scan in 3-4 months doesn't show improvement when compared to the February scan, we can all agree that the treatment isn't working. I was told the lumps would be gone after the 2nd round. Call me crazy, but it doesn't make sense. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jeopardize my future health just to satisfy someone's protocol - my future doesn't fit into that box they're wanting to tick. I'll step off my soapbox now...

Enjoy your weekend & where is that sunshine I'm dreaming of?? 

xxxx

Maria & Valentina

Thank you for the sharps disposal!

No Hiroshima babies please.

Getting used to the weight around her neck - it weighs nearly as much as she does!