Day 172 & A Half - Well, I guess this is it.

Sorry for my absence. I've been a bit blue these past few days. I had my appointment with Dr. Donato & basically it's too much $$.
2x/wk for 3 weeks
1x/wk for 4 weeks
Living in San Diego for 7 weeks
= WAY TOO MUCH MONEY!!!! The treatments alone would run about $12,000 - 15,000. Sigh.


So, it's home to Canada for 6 months of chemo. I am slowly coming to grips that this is to be my reality. I am okay with losing my hair & all that jazz. It's the damage to my lungs, heart & reproductive system that scares me. 


The tears quickly come when I stop to focus on what it will be like, so I've done my best to keep busy this week. It wasn't hard, as I had a lot to do with Valentina & her flights, my treatments, teeth cleaning, returns & refunds & traveling on public transit. 


I know some of you will be happy to hear that I am now facing chemo. I am quite sad, as I realize that my eating issues have been an integral part to my success or lack thereof. It pains me when I hear people say, 'Well, I guess this just reinforces that Alternative Medicine doesn't work'. I shudder to think where I would be if I hadn't taken the supplements & herbs these past 2 years. And in addition to that, anyone who ever tells me that biopsy seeding doesn't exist, well, I'm a walking testimonial that it does! My neck has grown so much in the past month since I had the biopsy. 


I am excited to wear purple &/or green wigs & be a blonde, red-head & black-head. :o) My dear friend, Ed, tells me I need to make different personas to match the wigs... Sonja the red-head, Felicia the blonde... :o) I have told a few friends & family, I'd like to challenge them to follow suit in 'Bald is Beautiful'. Some have had resistance & I guess it shows me how attached we are to our identifying ourselves - our hair is so often our stamp of uniqueness. Let me know if you're ready for a new identity! :o) My good buddy, Mike, is bald & I told him we can be twins, although I'm not sure which one of us will have the privilege of being the 'Evil Twin'! :o)


I'm sure my Oncologist will keel over from shock when he hears the news that I will be coming in for treatment. I doubt he ever expected me to do it! I will still return to Mexico for 10 days when I am finished the chemo to help clean out my body & build up my immune system. Dr. Castillo made my day when he said I would be fine & just because I was going back to Canada for treatment, it didn't mean I wasn't his patient anymore. He said he cares about me & he will be hard to get rid of. :o) 


Anyhow, I'm currently sitting in Atlanta, waiting to board the plane for Barbados. I'll do my best to update you on the past week... Nothing too exciting, mostly just the colourful folks of San Diego that kept me entertained. Once I'm on the ship, I am not sure how often I'll be able to update the blog, but I'll do my very best to keep you up to speed! (That is, when I'm not working on my tan or chillin' on deck with Valentina!) :o)


Big hugs & lotsa love & I'll be in touch! xxxx
Maria y Valentina
Te mando muchos besos...
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