Day 173 - Dr. Donato

Well today was the meeting. I had been anticipating this appointment for a very long time. Unfortunately I was at the end of the list to receive treatments at Castillo's, so I was late getting away to my appointment at Donato's. Not to worry though, as I only had to wait once I got there! 


His receptionist was lovely & much prettier than I had imagined. She was very helpful. The hospital was very clean & modern, much more pizzaz than any hospital I've been to in Canada. I learned later on that Hospital Angeles is where the rich in Mexico go. It's not a hospital for the general public. Hmm... That explains a lot! 


I visited with Dr. Duenas, the doctor who does the Homotoxicology treatments. He was also very knowledgeable & informative. Finally, Dr. Donato was ready for me. He reviewed all of my records & previous tests & scans, measured my neck, checked my pulse & breathing. We then sat down to discuss treatments. He talked a lot about diet & what a typical proper diet would consist of while I would be on treatment. 


He said I would see results within 24 hours of starting treatment. If I didn't, he would know that I would not be responsive to his treatment. That was encouraging! However, when the dust settled, as wonderful of a Doctor that he is & the promise of a gentler chemo, I just couldn't see a way that it would be financially possible. He was talking of 2 treatments per week for the first 3 weeks, and then 1 treatment per week for the following 4 weeks. At $1200-$1500 per treatment, that is nearly $15000 for the first 6 or 7 weeks! Adding to that, I would have to stay in San Diego for 6 weeks! The lodging alone would be atrocious! 


I left his office in tears, promising to be in touch with him, but knowing full well that I would never return to his office. Some things are just out of reach. I waited for the shuttle to pick Valentina & I up & it was back to the hotel. 


Naturally, I didn't feel like visiting with anyone. No emails, no skype, nothing. Jaco phoned & I talked to him briefly. I was angered when he said my progress with Castillo proved to him once & for all that Alternative Medicine doesn't work. I wasn't in the mood for any arguments & provoking comments. 


I went to Target to return the stinky puppy training spray, as well as the blender. Valentina rode the 'double decker bus' to Target, as I put the blender box underneath her carrier bag on the trolley. I stopped at Office Depot to pick up some tape, markers & stickers to prepare for the big cargo flight. I also stopped in to the beauty supply store to pick up some wax & a blow dryer. I finally found a portable travel dryer! Yay! As for the wax, I could have saved my money... As it would turn out, I was far too busy to wax my legs! Besides the eczema would have removed yet another layer of skin!


On to Target... I ended up leaving with an iPod Touch. It was an 'I Feel Sorry For Myself Today' present. It was on sale & iPods never go on sale. My best friend had been sharing with me all the wonderful tools she has on hers, so I thought I could find equal use for mine. If nothing else, a countdown tool to tick away the rounds of chemo.


As I waited for the trolley to return to the hotel, shortly after dark, I watched the shady characters flit about the trolley station. If anyone approached me, my plan was to show them my enormous neck & tell them I had flesh eating disease & any money or things they would take from me would inflict the same grotesque conditions upon them. :o) And then I sat there & sobbed as the reality of chemo slowly began to wash over me.


I don't think I have ever felt more frustration & more defeat. It's worse than losing the Grade 3 spelling bee on television, worse than losing the gold medal in the Grade 10 volleyball tournament, worse than having your heart broke by someone you completely loved who had just confessed they don't love you. At all. Nothing compares to the defeat. I have tried & tried. Yes, I could have done more. I can always do more. But why? Why didn't it work for me when it has worked for so many others? I wanted to badly to be a shining example of another method that WOULD WORK! 


I cried for the potential damage to my lungs. Never having dove the Great Barrier Reef or the Dead Sea. I cried for the potential damage to my heart. Would I ever run a marathon or climb a mountain again? I cried for the potential damage to my reproductive organs. Would I ever experience life as a mother or am I destined to be the crazy dog lady forever? Yeah, sure it gets rid of the lumps in my body, but what about the rest of my life?  Sure, the side effects aren't bad for everyone, but where is my guarantee? 


Pretty much ticked off at the world, I collapsed into bed. Physically, mentally & emotionally drained. Here's to a less heavy day tomorrow. 


xxxxxxx
Maria y Valentina

Carrie & Olga leaving for home!

Security Guard for some politician. The Guard was wearing a bullet proof vest, but he was more interested in the soap opera on tv than the politician upstairs! :o)