Day 134 - It's Like Cuddling With A Cactus.

Well, I certainly wouldn't consider today one of my favourite days. Waking up at 0600 to go to a hospital & have big fat needles shoved into your neck. Yeah, not so much. Please note - My mother asked me at 0630 if there was anything else I wanted to wash with Valentina's bed. No, just leave it until I come home - was my reply. Remember this for later, folks.


I get to the hospital & say goodbye to Mom & Valentina. I make my way down to the same spot as last time. This time I took off my toque, but left my Uggs on. They called me in shortly after I'd changed. It was the same gal as before - Jude or Judy, I'm not sure. We went to the same room in the back. They have really tacky curtains, btw. Really old floral prints. Big flowers. Think 1980's or early 1990's. I asked if it was the same surgeon. Nope. Great. Here's hoping!


It was really quite bizarre. Dr. Preet gave me the low-down on my procedure while we waited for the Radiologist. Dr. Preet tells me they are doing a FNA (WRONG - Core Needle) on my Thyroid (WRONG - It's a lymph node). I'm thinking silently to myself, 'Oh buddy, you're really nice & all, but I think a few more years of school are in order.' My next thought was, 'Oh dear, please don't let him be the one who stabs me with a needle!'


The next bit that made me laugh was after the Radiologist had come in & started to prep things, the nurses/technicians said, 'She won't sign the consent form until she talks to you.' Um, hello? What else would I do? Sign it before I know what body parts you're removing?!? Especially after the last guy said they were poking around my Thyroid?!? Oh man, this is turning out to be a real gas!


I can't remember the Radiologist's name, but he was good. He had one of the gals phone the Pathologist's office to find out SPECIFICALLY what they needed to get a diagnosis. The gal that got the directions wasn't too swift at relaying exactly what was said. She cost me another needle!!! Grrr.


So previously, in my neck needle history, it went like this:
1. 3 Fine Needle Aspirations (FNA) in February 2008 - Sydney, Australia
2. 3 FNA's under Ultrasound in March 2008 - Sydney, Australia
3. 3 FNA's in June 2008 - Medicine Hat, AB by a horrible Surgeon who didn't listen.
4. 1 FNA, 2 Core Needle Biopsies - Calgary, AB by Dr. Cochrane


Well, today was a record breaking needle day. I kept my cool. I didn't feel nauseous, although I was really hoping I could start about half way through the procedure! The Radiologist was okay with my Chemo Fit collection, although Jude made it sound like I was asking him to give me a boob job at the same time - 'I don't know anything about it. You'll have to discuss it with him!' Once he had okayed it, I gathered I would need one extra needle, putting me at, gulp, 4 needles. 


Yeah, I counted the number of times that plastic contraption slammed into my neck. I stopped counting at 5. They told me they ONLY did it 10 times, but I'm sure it was closer to 12. Yup. 10 (for sure) 18 gauge needles slammed into my poor little (large) lymph node. I can't believe I lasted that long. I said after the 5th slam, 'Okay, that's enough now, right? We're done?' 'Nope, just 3 more.' 'THREE MORE?!?' 'Yep.'


When we were done, the Radiologist tells me I was the best patient ever. Yeah, no doubt. Who else tolerates 10 chunks ripped out of their neck? But I will give him credit. It was an awkward place to try & maneuver that contraption & use the ultrasound 'wand'. He was quite verbal about his frustrations - 'What a dumba** contraption! Who invented this thing? Gosh, isn't there an easier way to do this?' At least he made me laugh. At one point, his Resident was helping him hold the contraption. The Radiologist says, 'Move that. No that. With that.' I would have been going insane, had it been me helping him! What's that? With what?!?! :o) The Radiologist also commented on my Uggs. He bought a pair when he was in Australia & he told me one of the funniest things he ever saw was a girl on the beach in Hawaii, wearing Uggs. 


So, I finished up & they wanted me to sit on a bed in the hallway for 1/2 an hour. Was this the 'recovery bed' the Oncologist's nurse was referring to when I couldn't get in any sooner for the biopsy because they needed a recovery bed? While I was sitting there, I felt the back of my neck. Yep, there was blood all over the back of it. Nothing like cleaning a gal up before you boot her back into the real world! I asked for a washcloth to wipe it off & the nurse brings me a dry washcloth! Thanks!


I realized later they had put the needle into the same spot all ten times. The freezing hadn't been as thorough as the previous time. I didn't feel great pain, but I could certainly feel discomfort & pressure during each needle. At one point, the needle went in & I could feel a twinge in a nerve that went up the side of my neck to the base of my head. Not cool! After that needle, he gave me more anaesthesia, which I felt tingling instantly down my left arm, all the way to my elbow! 


I chugged my MCP Pina Colada, changed my clothes, wet the washcloth & finished the job! I called Mom to come & collect me & we began our hunt for a courier to ship the collection off.


We went to Market Mall, thinking they would have a UPS Store we could post it from. No UPS Store. But lo & behold, there was a UPS & a Fed-Ex parking outside the mall. I stalked the UPS driver to ask him of the nearest location, but he told me they couldn't send Biohazard material. He suggested Fed-Ex. So I waited 3 minutes for the Fed-Ex guy & he sent me to a shop about 5 minutes away. We followed his directions, but couldn't find the store. I stopped at the bank to take care of that & then asked one of the gals for directions to the store. She was so nice! She looked it up online, called & made sure they were still at that location... What a nice lady! I love the TD Bank! 


We crossed the main road & found the shop. It was the fullest shop I have ever seen. You could hardly walk anywhere & set anything down, it was chokka block with stuff. Apparently they were moving. Apparently they were so busy moving the fellow running the shop didn't have time for a shower. For a long time. Ugh. I know I smell, but at least I wash my hair! Eew. His wife helped me, who didn't smell, and assured me that the package would be there by noon tomorrow. I paid $107 for shipping. Not bad for a $3000 test! Thank you Government of the USA for the grant!


We motored back to Market Mall & I picked up Apple Care for my Mac. I wanted to also stop at the Professional Building to find a holistic Doctor working there. I had told Jaco about my troubles with my needles - my right leg is pretty much toast - and he suggested I try an IV. I thought I'd see if they could put a port in for a few days to give my leg a rest. The trouble was I couldn't remember the Doctor's name. Some friends of mine had told me about him & all I could remember was that he was cocky & had red hair. 


I asked around some of the offices for a holistic Doctor, but no one knew anything. Fine. There are only 2 floors, I'll just go from door to door until I find the Doctor. Half way around the 2nd floor, I find the office. Everyone else was a Dentist & this one said something about 'Orthomolecular' medicine or something. This had to be it! I walked in & looked around. The receptionist asked if she could help me & I replied, 'Is the Doctor who works here red haired & cocky?' She laughed & said, 'That would be Dr. Johnson, yes.' 


I explained what I was after & she said I'd have to talk to his assistant, who came over briefly & the receptionist told her I was waiting to talk to her. When the assistant left, the receptionist whispered over the counter to me, 'That's his wife, so maybe don't tell her you think he's cocky!' My eyes widened & I thanked her for the tip!


I talked to his wife briefly about my situation & apparently they had recently been to Tijuana & toured some of the clinics! They were really up on IPT, but Dr. Johnson has a waiting list & is booked until June! 


While I had been waiting, a gentleman slipped me a piece of paper under the counter & said he'd like to talk to me & would wait outside for me. Um, okay. Sounds kinda fishy. 


Sure enough, he was waiting for me. He didn't want to sell me anything or feed me religion, he just wanted to share his ideals. He seemed genuine enough, so I grabbed Mom from the truck & we walked over to the food court to chat. 


He is from Germany & shared a lot of information with us. Some of it I knew, some of it was new to me. It put an interesting twist on things. About half way through our chat, my fatigue hit. It was time to go home. One more stop at the bankruptcy place & we made our way home. 


Mom had some where to go, so she left shortly thereafter. I went to bed & woke up a little later on. I was talking to a girlfriend, when I remembered Valentina's bed was in the wash. I went to take it out when I saw 'it'. I was horrified. 


My toque. My beloved Swedish toque. My beloved boiled WOOL Swedish toque that I paid way too much for & no one else on the planet has one like it. Shrunk. So small it barely fits my dog & makes her look like Marvin the Martian with a big tail. I was filled with rage, a few expletives, and then sorrow. How would I ever get back to Sweden to replace my toque? 


I was so angry! Why on EARTH did my Mother have to do laundry at 0630? And why didn't she check to see what was in there? I immediately went online & googled the Swedish Tourism Board to see if they could put me in touch with the shop. I knew where it was in Gamla Stan, but I didn't know the name of it. 


My friend I was talking to at the time of the toque discovery was telling me about her child's potting training & how well it was going... All of a sudden I start yelling & cursing... She was pretty confused at how excited I was about her son's toilet triumphs! 


Speaking of excited, er, stoked, tomorrow is the Level 3 of the Yuen Method. I'm pumped to learn more & cement in the method. Wish me luck! 


Love & hugs & healing & happy toque dreams,
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Just another day at the office.

One of these times I'll get lucky & it will be Brad Pitt's dressing room or Michael Buble's...

It's somebody's life & I hope it all ends well!

'The Recovery Room'

The entrance... I should have shot the floral curtains! No, there isn't a 'Next Time!'

The trucks of the drivers I stalked to find a shop!

Wahhhh! My beloved Swedish Toque.

Now what?

While I type this, I think I just realized that the body of the toque shrunk, but the tail didn't!