Posts
I had planned on heading to Cochrane to the bank & then into Calgary to sort out a few things. I was going to stop at Jenn & Mike's to visit for a bit & then Jenn was going to come with me into the city.
Before I left, I phoned Nicole to talk to her about the workshop in San Diego this coming June. I wanted to tell her I had spoken with Jaco & decided to attend. While I was talking to Nicole, we somehow came across the topic of diet. I divulged that I had been struggling off & on with a healthy diet for quite some time. I eat healthy when I am in the public eye, but as soon as I am on my own, especially when I drive, I 'closet eat'. Yes, I ate McDonald's, Dairy Queen, Burger King, you name it, I ate it.
I started to tell her about my problem & she asked me what it was about - I thought maybe it was self-worth or self-esteem. But when I told her a particularly pathetic story of fast food cravings that would rival the desperation of a crack addict, she commented, saying that it wasn't about self-worth. It was punishment.
I was speechless.
I hadn't thought of it too much before. Yes, I felt guilty & yes, I was mad at myself for doing it & why couldn't I control what I shoved in my mouth? Lord knows of all the things in my life out of control, I would jump at the chance to control at least something!
Needless to say, I was left with a lot to think about. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief with the realization of something I knew was affecting my life on so many levels.
Moving along, I headed to Cochrane & had a wonderful visit with Jenn & Mike. Little Heidi has changed so much already! It's amazing! And of course, Harrison was charming as ever. We left for the city about 1930, but silly me. Saturday night, not much was open! We ended up picking up a new carrier for Valentina & having a plate of nacho's at Montana's. (I didn't eat the forbidden tomatoes - I'm trying!) It was so fantastic to sit & visit with a girlfriend. Just the two of us. It was great! I had a good cry on my way home, as I'm really going to miss my girlfriends. They keep me going & have been such a big source of inspiration & support since I've been back in Canada these past few years.
I drove Mom's new car to Cochrane - it's a Camry, like mine, although it's only 4 years newer, it's a whole different car! It even had a stereo! I was so distracted driving, I couldn't find a decent radio station, until I finally decided on some station playing reggae music. I got to thinkin' - Calgary needs a 'Caribbean' bar where people can listen to reggae music, eat authentic island foods, learn how to dance caribbean style... I carried on with my imagination - the bar could be nice & hot & humid. Wear your flip flops & bikini & oh yes, tanning lights so you can work on your tan while you have fun - maybe we could do the healthier lights that give you your dose of Vitamin D... Just a thought. I would like to go there! Sand on the floor & palm trees...
Anyhow, back to the car... Jenn asked what we were going to name it. (She's so good with names! She always remembers the car's names, & is the only one who calls my lump Frank) The car prior to Contemplate was a Honda Civic named Meditate because it also lacked a stereo. We talked about different names & I thought I should keep the -ate theme going. It took me awhile, but I've since decided on 'NeverLate'. My Mom is notorious for running behind & I'm certainly no better. Maybe with a name like NeverLate the punctuality in the family will improve! :o)
So that's the update for today... Sorry for the delay & I'll do my best to keep up to speed! I'll be sure to update you on the food thing... Just another bump in the road.
Love & hugs,
Maria & Valentina
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
Harrison Jumps!
I think this was 'touch your toes'
Heidi learning to roll over & Harrison being a great big brother!
0 comments:
Post a Comment